It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today, and she didn't show up.

 

That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

groundhog has acquired a cellphone.  the caption is "and the groundhog never again saw his shadow."

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

There is an alternate universe where a cat lives alone with twelve little old ladies.

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Sedalia Dave]

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Murphy was an optimist.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

Weird....it didn't say that when I posted it. 

Edited February 6 by Subdeacon Joe

[DeaconKC]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

"I want to bring my dog along to the hotel. He's really well-behaved and won't cause any trouble. Is that cool with you?"

A little later, he got a response:

"I've been running this hotel for years, and I've never had a dog swipe towels, sheets, or pictures. I've also never had to call the cops because a dog got tipsy and caused a scene. And I've never had a dog skip out on the bill. If your dog can vouch for you, then you’re both more than welcome!"

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Found on the web:

 

Ford patents system that lets you cuss out its engineers in real time.

 

reports probably go into the circular file, I bet its just a pacifier after the marketing.

[Blackwater 53393]

30 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Found on the web:

 

Ford patents system that lets you cuss out its engineers in real time.

 

reports probably go into the circular file, I bet its just a pacifier after the marketing.

I worked for a Ford dealership many years ago.  I actually got to cuss a couple of their engineers in person while I was going to one of their service schools!!

 

Didn’t do a bit of good!! 🤣

 

 

Edited February 6 by Blackwater 53393

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

most engineer's are deaf as well as STUPID 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

36 minutes ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

most engineer's are deaf as well as STUPID 

YEAH, without them you would have better designed buildings, roads, bridges, electronics, sanitation systems, …., for your thatch roofed villages.

[Blackwater 53393]

Before engineers became too important to question and were the last word on how something should be built, they began to ignore the need for maintenance and repair!

 

My little brother is a research and development specialist in the area of warranty failure prevention. He works for NISSAN.  
 

On a tour of the plant where he works, the chief engineer for Nissan’s drive train division told little brother that a part he suspected was not up to the task would likely never fail.

 

Two months later, little brother gave me this broken part that he wanted to have chrome plated.  I took it to a friend’s shop, had it plated and polished. When he got it back, little bro mounted it on a nice piece of walnut and had a plaque engraved for it. 
 

He gave it to the chief engineer on his next visit. The plaque read, “There Is Nothing A Man Can Make That Can’t Be Broken”

 

Chief muttered something about “damned mechanics”!! 😜🤣

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

[Subdeacon Joe]

"Couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat" 

 

 

 

 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

3 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

YEAH, without them you would have better designed buildings, roads, bridges, electronics, sanitation systems, …., for your thatch roofed villages.

Nobody's saying that engineers aren't important, it's just that they don't tend to look at the Big Picture. They look at a way to make something, but like Blackwater said, " they ignore the need for maintenance and repair!"

There is a Chevy engine, for example, that has the starter mounted under the intake manifold in the valley between the valves. One has to nearly disassemble the top half of the engine to replace what in earlier versions was a 30 minute job that anybody could do lying in the dirt pretty much with a Crescent Wrench.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

8 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

Nobody's saying that engineers aren't important, it's just that they don't tend to look at the Big Picture. They look at a way to make something, but like Blackwater said, " they ignore the need for maintenance and repair!"

There is a Chevy engine, for example, that has the starter mounted under the intake manifold in the valley between the valves. One has to nearly disassemble the top half of the engine to replace what in earlier versions was a 30 minute job that anybody could do lying in the dirt pretty much with a Crescent Wrench.

It wasn’t an engineer who made the decision that it be done that way. It was a guy in finance.

[DocWard]

3 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

The plaque read, “There Is Nothing A Man Can Make That Can’t Be Broken”

 

 

Hell, any Marine would tell you that.

[Blackwater 53393]

4 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

It wasn’t an engineer who made the decision that it be done that way. It was a guy in finance.

But all the engineers had to say to the bean counters was, “IT WON’T WORK!”

 

The bean counters wouldn’t know any different and the R&D, the re-design, the restructuring of the assembly line, and the re-engineering costs could be avoided.

 

BUUUTTT!!!  Some engineer  saw a chance to justify his existence and the cost his parents footed to put him through school!! 🙄😜🤣

 

Before an engineer candidate is allowed to put the first line on drafting paper, he should be REQUIRED  to spend five years in the repair and maintenance of whatever type of device or machinery that he will be designing and he should spend a year after his design is implemented, using, repairing, and maintaining it!!!

 

 

[Blackwater 53393]

And Mo!!

 

Yeah, I’m yankin’ yer chain some, but only some!! 😝

[John Kloehr]

My lady has a '96 Z28. Nice engine. The distributor is on the front of the engine... under the water pump. Both parts are good for about 10 years, so best to replace both if either one fails. Woe to the owner that gets a bad replacement distributor and has to do it all again in under a year.

 

There is some other engine where some cheap part (coil maybe) is under the intake manifold. It should have been easily accessible on top of the engine or even on the firewall, but no! Remove the intake manifold first. And put the manifold (with new gaskets) back on to test if the replacement part works.

Edited February 7 by John Kloehr

[Blackwater 53393]

3 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

My lady has a '96 Z28. Nice engine. The distributor is on the front of the engine... under the water pump. Both parts are good for about 10 years, so best to replace both  if either one fails. Woe to the owner that gets a bad replacement distributor and has to do it all again in under a year.

OptiSpark is not user friendly!!  We hotrodders have created several ways to eliminate it!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

11 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said:

And Mo!!

 

Yeah, I’m yankin’ yer chain some, but only some!! 😝

Here’s one from the software world.  There’s never enough time to do it right but there’s always enough time to do it over.

[Blackwater 53393]

4 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Here’s one from the software world.  There’s never enough time to do it right but there’s always enough time to do it over.

I have seen entirely too much of that in my lifetime!!

[Bitterroot Jake, SASS #9532]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Here’s one from the software world.  There’s never enough time to do it right but there’s always enough time to do it over.

Seen it everyday where I worked prior to my retirement, and the place before that, and the one before that. (covered

years 1980-2019)I

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

[Subdeacon Joe]

50 minutes ago, The Old ways said:

 

He was just confused by the ad

 

Vintage Montague " St Claire " Fishing Reel **JEWELED**

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

An American physicist , professor at John’s Hopkins, was called as a witness at trial

(circa 1890)…..
 

During cross-examination, he was asked what qualified him as a witness.

"I am without doubt the greatest living expert in the field," the professor replied calmly.

Some time later, a friend of his, who knew Rowland's modest and reserved nature well, expressed surprise at his pompous emphasis.

"It is not like you to come out with such an answer, to praise yourself in such an unusual way," he said.

"Well, what did you expect me to do?" the American physicist replied.

"I was under oath."

[Subdeacon Joe]