Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 Why should you never give a blonde a coffee break? It takes far too long to retrain her 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 It’s a jigsaw puzzle 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 3 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 7 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: Why should you never give a blonde a coffee break? It takes far too long to retrain her ...... oooooooh!!!! .... yer gonna git it fer that'n ......... 😀🙃😂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 1 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cactus Jack Calder Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Alpo said: If I thought that a child of mine was capable of that idiocy, I’d cry. Some parent is either cringing or immensely proud. That is the question. Has this young woman(?) come to this on her own or has she been guided by parents equally unqualified to make decisions. CJ Edited November 2 by Cactus Jack Calder 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 This guy was driving down the freeway, a cute little bunny rabbit ran out in the road, he tried to miss it but he ended up running right over the thing. He pulled over and walked back to check on it. The bunny was dead, smashed, ran over. He was all bent out of shape about it. Suddenly a woman in a nice sports car rolls by. She sees him looking at the poor rabbit so she pulls over. She gets out of her car, walks up to the guy and says “what’s going on? Is everything okay?” The guy says “I just ran over this poor rabbit, he’s gone, there’s nothing I can do!” She says “hold on a moment I have exactly what you need!” The guy looks at her like she’s crazy, thinking XXX? The rabbits dead, what can possibly be done? She goes to her car, grabs a can out of the console, walks back over to him and the rabbit and she sprays the rabbit with whatever is in the can. She looks at him and says “there you go! Problem solved!” He’s still like XXX? This chicks gone mad. Suddenly the rabbit stands up, it walks like ten feet, turns around and waves. It walks another ten feet, turns around and waves. It does that all the way until he can’t see the rabbit anymore. He’s amazed, he asks her “ ma’am what do you have in that magical can?” She says “oh it’s just hairspray, it revives dead hair and adds permanent wave!” 1 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 2 hours ago, Alpo said: 2 hours ago, Cactus Jack Calder said: If I thought that a child of mine was capable of that idiocy, I’d cry. Some parent is either cringing or immensely proud. That is the question. Has this young woman(?) come to this on her own or has she been guided by parents equally unqualified to make decisions. CJ Do you believe it’s real, not a photoshop? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 Since I've seen that same picture with at least a half a dozen different signs, I'm sure it's a Photoshop. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 4 hours ago, Alpo said: Since I've seen that same picture with at least a half a dozen different signs, I'm sure it's a Photoshop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 6 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: This guy was driving down the freeway, a cute little bunny rabbit ran out in the road, he tried to miss it but he ended up running right over the thing. He pulled over and walked back to check on it. The bunny was dead, smashed, ran over. He was all bent out of shape about it. Suddenly a woman in a nice sports car rolls by. She sees him looking at the poor rabbit so she pulls over. She gets out of her car, walks up to the guy and says “what’s going on? Is everything okay?” The guy says “I just ran over this poor rabbit, he’s gone, there’s nothing I can do!” She says “hold on a moment I have exactly what you need!” The guy looks at her like she’s crazy, thinking XXX? The rabbits dead, what can possibly be done? She goes to her car, grabs a can out of the console, walks back over to him and the rabbit and she sprays the rabbit with whatever is in the can. She looks at him and says “there you go! Problem solved!” He’s still like XXX? This chicks gone mad. Suddenly the rabbit stands up, it walks like ten feet, turns around and waves. It walks another ten feet, turns around and waves. It does that all the way until he can’t see the rabbit anymore. He’s amazed, he asks her “ ma’am what do you have in that magical can?” She says “oh it’s just hairspray, it revives dead hair and adds permanent wave!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 A guy comes home from the pub and he's really angry. His wife asks what's the problem. “That bloody Postman, bragging down the pub, claims he's had every woman in this street except one” he says. “I'll bet it's that snooty cow at number 3” replies the wife. Or…. A little boy says to his dad “Daddy, when you were at work the other day, the doorbell rang and it was the Postman. And mummy let him in. And they went upstairs. And they took their clothes off. And they got in the bed. And the bed covers went up and down.. and…” “Wait!” Says the dad. “I want you to tell me about this tonight while we're all having dinner” - I've suspected her for some time, he thinks. Now I'll get her. In front of the whole family. “And tell me as if its the first time you've said anything about it” he adds. So at dinner that evening. The little boy begins “Daddy, when you went to work last week, the doorbell went. And it was the Postman. And…” “Daddy doesn't want to hear your silly stories, eat your dinner” says the Mum. “No, go on” says the dad “this sounds very interesting” “And mummy let him in. And they went upstairs….” “Now eat up, Daddy is too busy for your gossip” “No! Go on!” Says the Dad “ this sounds *very* interesting”. “And they took all their clothes off…” Mum by now is bright red. “Eat up, Daddy doesn't want….” “No, go on! This I want to hear. In *full* detail” “And they got in the bed. And the bed covers went up and down.” Daddy looks at Mummy - he's absolutely seething…. She's perplexed. “Just like what you did with Aunty Mary when mummy went on holiday!” 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 The history professor asked the blonde student if she knew what Roe versus Wade was about. After thinking a while she told him that it was probably Washington's decision, before crossing the Delaware. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see.“ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 (edited) Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody that can run, jump, or swim is already in the U.S. Edited November 3 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted November 3 Share Posted November 3 Just a thought about these blonde jokes and our community. Think carefully before posting these. If you do post and any blonde posts about them, please be prepared to explain your joke. 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazos John Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 6 hours ago, Alpo said: The history professor asked the blonde student if she knew what Roe versus Wade was about. After thinking a while she told him that it was probably Washington's decision, before crossing the Delaware. In Texas, it's the decision to be made by our new visitors. Thank goodness for the benevolence of the Northern Sanctuary Cities. And Greyhound! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 4 Author Share Posted November 4 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 3 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 2 8 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 A Japanese guy is on vacation in New York and he went to the currency exchange and changed 20,000 Yen to USD, and got $270 in return. The following day he went tot the same exchange, 20,000 Yen and got $260, he said you ripping me off, yesterday it was $270 The cashier tried to placate him by say Sir it’s Fluctuations to which he replied well Fluck you Fluckimg Americans also. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 Paddy got shipwrecked on a desert island, eating fruit and fish for two years. One day, he was walking along the beach and tripped on a brass object in the sand. It was lantern, he rubbed it to remove the sand and a genie emerged from it. Genie ‘You have released me from my prison. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes!’ Paddy ‘Er, I want ten million pounds in my. Bank account!’ Genie ‘Done!’ Paddy ‘I want an unbreakable glass that fills with Guinness when empty.’ A perfect pint of Guinness appears, Paddy drinks it in two gulps and it slowly fills up again. Paddy drinks it and repeats it five times. Genie ‘And your last wish?’ Paddy ‘I'll have another one of these, thanks!’ 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 4 Share Posted November 4 2 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted November 5 Share Posted November 5 On 11/2/2024 at 9:00 AM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: It’s a jigsaw puzzle Someone at our office gave that puzzle as a gift at our office Christmas party last year. It's actually much bigger. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 5 Share Posted November 5 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 5 Share Posted November 5 7 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozark Huckleberry Posted November 5 Share Posted November 5 On 11/3/2024 at 4:39 PM, John Kloehr said: Just a thought about these blonde jokes and our community. Think carefully before posting these. If you do post and any blonde posts about them, please be prepared to explain your joke. It also helps if you type slower. 3 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 5 Author Share Posted November 5 Tactical Turkey Couldn't find on YouTube https://www.facebook.com/reel/483934318032156/?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 5 Share Posted November 5 (edited) A woman in her seventies called the police when she believed that her husband, also in his seventies, was dead. A detective showed up with a couple of uniformed cops and a medic team. When they arrived at the house, the woman was standing over her husband slightly in tears. He was lying on the carpeted floor in the living room with a wheel chair also lying on its side next to him. The medic immediately checked the old man’s pulse and confirmed that he was dead. The detective, after examining the dead man’s body, stood up and gently put his hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Are you all right, ma’am?” “Yes,” she whimpered, still in tears. “You think you can take some questions now?” The woman nodded, still looking as though she couldn’t believe what had just happened. “Did he fall out of his wheelchair, ma’am?” the detective asked. “You might say that,” she replied. “Is that how he died?” he asked. “Oh, no,” she quickly replied. “Oh!” the detective exclaimed. “So you know how he died then? ““Yes,” she said, “he took poison.” The detective looked at the dead man’s body again. “He took poison?”, the detective asked surprisingly. “Then why are all these bruises on his body? Why does it look like he was knocked from his wheelchair?” The woman looked exasperated and again shook her teary head, “I’M SORRY, DETECTIVE. BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE IT!” 8 hours ago, Ozark Huckleberry said: Edited November 5 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted November 6 Share Posted November 6 Don't take your pet rock for granite. 1 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted November 6 Share Posted November 6 1 hour ago, John Kloehr said: Don't take your pet rock for granite. ... mine lost it's marble ... 🙃 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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