It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A Chinese man was sitting at the bar when a Jewish man comes up and punches him in the nose. He grabs his nose and says, “What was that for?”

The Jewish man says, “That’s for Pearl Harbor.”

The Chinese man exclaims, “Pearl Harbor?!? I’m Chinese! That was the Japanese!”

To which the Jewish man replies, “Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese…they’re all the same.”

The Chinese man sits at the bar getting angrier and angrier. Finally, he can take no more and goes and punches the Jewish man in his nose and says, “That’s for the Titanic!”

The Jewish man is puzzled. “The Titanic?!?”

“Goldberg, Steinberg, Iceberg…they’re all the same!” Replies the Chinese man.

[Alpo]

[Michigan Slim]

Beagle: If my people tell me to change it, I will smell it, check in with my people, then I'll -WHATS THAT SMELL?!  IGOTTA CHECK THAT OUT!!

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

25 minutes ago, Michigan Slim said:

Beagle: If my people tell me to change it, I will smell it, check in with my people, then I'll -WHATS THAT SMELL?!  IGOTTA CHECK THAT OUT!!

SQUIRREL!!

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

6 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

I gotta look for that on Amazon!

[Sedalia Dave]

1 hour ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

I gotta look for that on Amazon!

 

The standing workout is designed to improve your hand eye coordination as well. 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

9 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

The standing workout is designed to improve your hand eye coordination as well. 

Looks like it might be a bit shaky to me.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

I gotta look for that on Amazon!

Some folks have already.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]

In honor of Halloween, a candy joke.

 

 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

There was a farmer, who had three daughters. Hea really protective of them, and when he finds out when their bf's are coming to take them out, he looked them in their rooms and waited at the door with a shotgun.

The first boyfriend arrives, the farmer answers the door, and the man says “I'm Jo, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?”

Seeing nothing wrong with him, he let's the first daughter go. The next boyfriend comes to pick up the second daughter. The farmer answers the door and fella says “I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, We are getting some spaghetti, is she ready?”

The farmer begins to lighten up, and let's his second daughter go. At this point he's confident that these men are good for his daughters. The third boyfriend arrives. The farmer answers the door, and the third boyfriend says :

“Hi, I'm Chuck.”

The farmer shot him immediately.

 

 

 

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

 

[Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L]

1 hour ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

 

 

I see a future in politics! 😁

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

At least he didn't quit!

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

COMING SOON TO A TIME ZONE NEAR YOU!!

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

 

 

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

3 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

Worse then that, it's another hour of BS political adds. Can't we wait till the election is over to add an hour?

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

 

Edited November 2, 2024 by Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

 

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[Alpo]

11 minutes ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

 

If I was the girl, once I had recovered from my heart attack, I would beat the guy to death.

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

22 minutes ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

 

 

One time about 35 years ago,  on Hwy. 20 between Willits and Ft. Bragg, must have been  about 0730, in very pretty Redwood Country,  nice winding road , my wife (girlfriend at the time) was dozing.  I saw a squirrel in the road 50 yards or so ahead.  Being in a playful mood,  I tapped the brakes,pointed like Donald Sutherland in "Invasion of the Bodysnatchers" and yelled "What's that?!?!" She came abruptly awake screaming and scanning around frantically.  Then she heard me laughing. Started to hit me.  "Hey!  I'm driving! You can't hit me!"  MAN!  She was looking daggers at me for MILES!  

 

All this time later it's still one of our running gags.

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 10/31/2024 at 12:24 PM, Sedalia Dave said:

Do you have to use it if you're on the throne?

 

 I'd be in real trouble if I exercise that much an can I see a burn out in my future....and any kind of burn is gonna be dangerous in that sort of high methane atmosphere.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Why should you never give a blonde a coffee break?

 

 

It takes far too long to retrain her

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

It’s a jigsaw puzzle

 

 

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]