DeaconKC Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 1 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 On 11/9/2024 at 8:03 PM, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted November 12 Author Share Posted November 12 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 (edited) The family has gathered to celebrate wheelchair-bound Granny’s 90th birthday. Alice sees the old lady slumped forward and rushes over to set her upright. A little while later Jack sees Granny leaning precariously to the left, so he gallantly sits her up again. Harold, Granny’s favourite grandson arrives late and goes straight over to the old woman, takes her in his arms, lifting her slightly as he does so and kissing her on the mouth. “I love you, Granny.” He says softly. Granny sighs deeply and says: “I’m so glad you’re here, Harry darling! The other bas***ds wouldn’t let me fart!” Edited November 12 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted November 12 Share Posted November 12 2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: The family has gathered to celebrate wheelchair-bound Granny’s 90th birthday. Alice sees the old lady slumped forward and rushes over to set her upright. A little while later Jack sees Granny leaning precariously to the left, so he gallantly sits her up again. Harold, Granny’s favourite grandson arrives late and goes straight over to the old woman, takes her in his arms, lifting her slightly as he does so and kissing her on the mouth. “I love you, Granny.” He says softly. Granny sighs deeply and says: “I’m so glad you’re here, Harry darling! The other bas***ds wouldn’t let me fart!” Was that the same Granny that started laughing hysterically for no apparent reason, and when asked why, embarrassed her whole family when she answered, "I just realized that everybody here is alive because I got laid!" 2 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 A good ol’ boy goes to college and soon runs through all the money his father gave him. He writes to his father: “Dad, they have a great new program here at school. They can actually teach a dog to talk! Send Rover along with a thousand dollars and I'll bring him back a talking dog!” His father gets excited and sends the dog and money. A few months later he's run through the money again so he writes his dad: “Rover’s talking up a storm but now they've got a program that'll teach him to read! It's $2,000 but they guarantee results. Should I enroll him?” So the father again sends the money. Now it's the end of the semester and he's got to explain to his father why the dog can't talk or read. He calls his father who says to him, “When are you two coming home? I can't wait to talk to Rover and hear him read!” The son says, “Dad, I've got terrible news. The other day I walked into the living room and there was Rover sitting in his chair and reading the newspaper as he likes to do when he turns to me and says, ‘So, is your daddy still stepping out with that little redhead over on Maple Street?” The father says, “I hope you shot that lyin’ sumb****!” 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 Stolen from the web… Was a manager in a large supermarket in a rough part of Belfast after the smoking ban came in. A really rough guy (former terrorist) lit up a cigarette in the shop so I had to go over and ask him to put it out. I politely explained to him that it was now against the law and he'd have to put it out. Him- but I bought them in here. Me- mate we sell condoms but… 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 5 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 3 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 28 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: There has got to be a way to work this into a stage introduction! 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 1 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 (edited) Posted that damn perpendicular car Monday, and forgot to delete it from my files. Edited November 15 by Alpo 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 2 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said: Yeah... About that... 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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