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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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On 2/28/2024 at 3:31 PM, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:


Had a dumb broad go off on me like that.  I went right back at her, bug eyes, and all.  She kept on screeching and leaned into me so I leaned back and raised the volume and the pace and she took off.  Came back in a few minutes with a half dozen more of her kind....and a local Leo who listened to the story from every one who was there and told her and her friends hey should leave before he found a reason to take THEM in for disturbing the peace.

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35 minutes ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:


What the hell was that all about? :blink:

It's the HUMOR thread somebody thought it was funny and shared. 


Barn dust to make your old jalopy a 'barn find' so it's worth more.


The dadvocate cause she explains men to other women and tells em to chill out on the I don't need no man stuff.  Plus she's easy to watch

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45 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:


Not if it were ME. Any time I had a conference with a foreign leader, It would take place at a range of some sort. There would be a quiet subtext of, "I could have killed you at any time, but I didn't. Can we be friends now?" B)

Which is just one of the MANY reasons why I would never be elected to office.:P

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A Mom is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns.

"It is not polite."

"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"Those are enough questions, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her driver's license.

It's like a report card; it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and Daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks.


"Because you got an F in sex.”

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A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where her Mother superior was showering.

"There is a blind man to see you," she says.

"Well, if he is a blind man, then it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in."

The blind man walks into the bathroom, and Mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them.

She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts:

"That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?!"



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An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale

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On 3/11/2024 at 7:31 PM, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:




 I don't watch the Academy Awards, but I always check the see who won.  It's a great way to get a list of crap I don't ever want to watch.

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