Smoken D Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Well, I may as well get this confession over with. I will never be able to run for a political position. This way I will be able to get recognition such as, "Oh yea, I remember him, he has not been in the news lately". I will also be able to have a book written about me, and then have rights to the movie. Groups will be asking me to make speeches and then I can make money doing motivational lectures and teachings. There will be parks, roadways, bridges named after me. Hollywierd will just go nuts over my life and changes and all that has happen to me. I'll become a multi-millionaire without the help of any lobbyist and have my own accountant. Life is really gonna be great for me, me, me with this confession. You see, I am 66 years of age and when I was 5 years old, I looked at a girl cross-eyed. Yep, I did it, gonna confess before she comes out of the woodwork, jumps in front of the cameras, and she becomes the multi-millionaire. So, there it is, my confession. Smoken D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Confession is good for the soul...... and the banking account. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 My drummer, who is a long time friend and schoolmate since the 7th grade, says that I should write a book about all the crazy things I have done! I don’t dare, because I asked girls all the time if they’d slip off with me for..... In today’s climate, ya’ have to be careful about even thinking about asking some lady out for dinner for fear of being pilloried for one or another form of harassment or worse, some perceived “micro aggression!!” I don’t know how a young man can ever approach a girl romantically anymore!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 I paid an undocumented person to cut my grass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Try this maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: I paid an undocumented person to cut my grass. Yah, BUT he can run take that office GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 I have no political ambitions but I must admit I sometimes drive at 62 MPH in a 60 mile zone. Wow! I feel better!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. R. Hugh Kidnme Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 4 minutes ago, Noz said: I have no political ambitions but I must admit I sometimes drive at 62 MPH in a 60 mile zone. Wow! I feel better!! I'm confused. You feel better driving at 62 mph or after your confession? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Three Foot Johnson Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 About 25 years ago, I had a bit of a disagreement with a local business, dragged the owner's brother over the counter and was fixin' to pound some sense into him just as the city police came screaming into the parking lot to save the day. Then, at the initiation of The Divorce From Hell in 2000, my eventual ex filed a restraint order against me claiming I beat her, her son, and our daughter and "he's got a lot of guns and says he'll shoot any cop that shows up". I was arrested at work at gunpoint by herd of NINE sheriff's deputies, and tossed in the county jail with a $25,000 bail. I framed the bondsman's receipt and it's hanging on the wall in my reloading room. Kind of proud of it, cuz no one in this family has ever been worth that much. It took over three years to get that mess cleared up and my rights restored, and I was eventually awarded full custody of my daughter, so... Anyway, now the justice system says I have "a history of violent behavior", so, yeah, I'm out for ever running for office too. Oh, and I once witnessed someone put 75¢ into a newspaper stand and take TWO papers out of it, and I never reported him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 7 hours ago, Smoken D said: Well, I may as well get this confession over with. I will never be able to run for a political position. This way I will be able to get recognition such as, "Oh yea, I remember him, he has not been in the news lately". I will also be able to have a book written about me, and then have rights to the movie. Groups will be asking me to make speeches and then I can make money doing motivational lectures and teachings. There will be parks, roadways, bridges named after me. Hollywierd will just go nuts over my life and changes and all that has happen to me. I'll become a multi-millionaire without the help of any lobbyist and have my own accountant. Life is really gonna be great for me, me, me with this confession. You see, I am 66 years of age and when I was 5 years old, I looked at a girl cross-eyed. Yep, I did it, gonna confess before she comes out of the woodwork, jumps in front of the cameras, and she becomes the multi-millionaire. So, there it is, my confession. Smoken D What did you see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chili Ron Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Howdy, Them young'uns just TEXT the daylights outta each other. Ever hear of sexting? Life for kids today must be very different from NO seat belts, NO helmets, NO child seats, NO video on the back of the front seats. My Dad just didn't have accidents, no problem. Best CR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Had some blue jays that were causing problems. I discussed doing something about it. Well maybe you know that they are migratory birds and that means I can be charged with conspiracy to commit a felony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: What did you see? Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 21 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said: My drummer, who is a long time friend and schoolmate since the 7th grade, says that I should write a book about all the crazy things I have done! I did that! It's called "Bucksnort". Available on Amazon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Dan Dawkins Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 On 1/2/2018 at 11:52 AM, J Bar Binks, #47015 said: Oh, and I once witnessed someone put 75¢ into a newspaper stand and take TWO papers out of it, and I never reported him. Oh, the horror of the shame you must bear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 On 1/2/2018 at 11:52 AM, J Bar Binks, #47015 said: Oh, and I once witnessed someone put 75¢ into a newspaper stand and take TWO papers out of it, and I never reported him. 75c was enough for 3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Stop the political posts or the thread will be locked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smoken D Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 1 hour ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said: Stop the political posts or the thread will be locked. Ifen I change the title ta "True Confessions" would that work? (I didn't think of that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlands Bob #61228 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 I ain't confessin nothin cause I ain't seen the video. These days, without video, it didn't happen. Innocent Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 59 minutes ago, Badlands Bob #61228 said: I ain't confessin nothin cause I ain't seen the video. These days, without video, it didn't happen. Innocent Bob But we have 3 witnesses(well paid) that say you did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlands Bob #61228 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 The problem is, anyone who hangs around with the likes of me is of dubious character and an unreliable witness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 11 minutes ago, Badlands Bob #61228 said: The problem is, anyone who hangs around with the likes of me is of dubious character and an unreliable witness. and they all agreed to testify in exchange for a lighter sentence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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