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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

By Subdeacon Joe
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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is long enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We ca

Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

#11   An engineer died and was sent to Hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The

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John Kloehr SASS Wire Vet

John Kloehr

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:


I don’t mean to be a Grinch, however.... to those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has Red or Blue flashing lights together!! Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my margarita out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat. All while trying to drive. It's just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

While standing on the brakes to slow down to the speed limit?

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John Kloehr SASS Wire Vet

John Kloehr

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2 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Let's not get carried away, now.  Too "by the book" and they wonder what you're hiding!

Some time ago I decided to take "the long way home" in my Dodge Charger (obnoxiously straight piped) through the National Park. A Dodge Challenger pulled in behind me and was following my lead through the curves.

 

Now I do enjoy responsibly, I know the road, never go beyond what I can see, keep it sane with any oncoming traffic, and strictly adhere to the limits at the turnouts.

 

Came to a certain rise and as I crested, saw a Park Ranger was on the shoulder for traffic enforcement. I let off the gas (brap! brap! brap! brap! from my exhaust)! the Challenger closes on me and then also backs off. Brap, brap, brap, brap! from his exhaust. He was not stock either.

 

Anyway, neither of us got pulled over, probably only because we were actually paying attention. We enjoyed the rest of the drive and went our separate ways once back to the state highway.

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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 SASS Wire Vet

Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

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A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 SASS Wire Vet

Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

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Found on a site about marsupials…

 

Researchers can tell when a mother marsupial is expecting because she begins preening her pouch. Before a new embryonic joey can climb into the pouch to suckle, the mother has to make way for the new kid, cleaning out her pouch and the previous joey’s belongings: posters, old clothes, trophies.

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Sedalia Dave SASS Wire Vet

Sedalia Dave

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After stepping out of the shower, I stood in front of the mirror, expressing to my husband how unhappy I was with how small my breasts were. Instead of denying it like he usually does, he surprised me with a suggestion.

 

"If you want them to grow, take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds every day," he said.

 

Intrigued and willing to try anything, I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and started rubbing it as he suggested. "How long will it take?" I asked.

 

"It might take years," he replied with a straight face.

 

Pausing for a moment, I questioned him, "Do you really believe rubbing toilet paper on my chest every day will make them grow bigger?"

 

Without missing a beat, he smirked and said, "Well, it worked for your butt, didn’t it?"

 

 

Let’s just say he’s still alive… barely. With some physical therapy, he might even walk again.

 

Stupid, stupid man.

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Blackwater 53393 SASS Wire Vet

Blackwater 53393

Posted
Posted

I laughed my @$$ off when I saw this!! Today, I stopped traffic for a moment to snap this picture!

 

IMG_0666.jpeg

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John Kloehr SASS Wire Vet

John Kloehr

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

FB_IMG_1733524491541.jpg.5f5fec335060a66b46496e8facb14d0e.jpg

 

I'm competing in a two-gun tomorrow, sling required for rifle. Learned the requirement two days ago Bought one yesterday, bought more hardware today and got it mounted right, the first set of hardware simply was not right. This from watching a few YouTube videos about using slings in competition. And combined with my gut sense.

 

I'll be slow, and safe. Not sure it is so much running out of stupid stuff to do as perhaps being aware of lessons from previous dumb things.

 

I'm going on the assumption the sling is because we will carry the rifle through the course of fire rather than dumping it in a barrel or picking it up at a pre-stage location. Perhaps the CoF will require multiple swaps between pistol and rifle, I can deal with that too. If there is anything wrong in my assumptions, I will take a DNF/SDQ if I am not prepared enough.

 

I'll also sleep on the dry-fire practice from this afternoon. In the morning, a final clean, oil and function check of my arms, load up, an hour drive, afternoon shoot. Should be a balmy 40 degree winter day. Almost blistering hot compared to the last week.

 

Edited by John Kloehr
from, not form
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