It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Subdeacon Joe]

English place names. 

The West Saxons gave us the name "Wessex."

East Saxons gave us the the place name  of "Essex."

The South Saxons yielded the name "Sussex "

 

Unfortunately the North Saxons had "Nossex" and so died out.

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

The sure and certain indication he was NOT successful!

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

9 minutes ago, Brown Leathers said:

I don't get it.

[DeaconKC]

[Alpo]

2 hours ago, DeaconKC said:

At least none of them were sniffing one of the others' butt.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

I figure this is the Imperial system’s revenge on the metric world.

 

throughout the world the most commonly used tools are metric. But the sockets and socketdrives are still 1/4, 3/8, 1/2, and 1”.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair red?

 

 

 

Artificial intelligence.

[Alpo]

[DeaconKC]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/500830682977292?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On 12/12/2024 at 4:47 PM, DeaconKC said:

 

22 hours ago, Alpo said:

At least none of them were sniffing one of the others' butt.

Looks like they were all told to sit.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A Father put his 3-year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”
The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
“God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.”
The next day the grandmother died.
“Holy crap” thought the father, “This kid is in contact with the other side.”

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting!!”

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Sedalia Dave]

 

4 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

Edited December 14, 2024 by Sedalia Dave

[Sedalia Dave]

[Mad Dog Jack, SASS #77862]

55 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

Ok. I'll bite, what is this about?

[Alpo]

I'm guessing the four grab over the top means that he's got big hands. And of course if you have big hands and big feet then you got a big woohoo.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A man always calls his wife by such names as darling, sweetheart, cher. Neighbor says “That is so sweet”. Man says “Thank you but the truth of the matter is I forgot her name”.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

What did the Italian order at the Chinese restaurant?

 

 

 

Ciao Mein.

[Alpo]

On 12/14/2024 at 6:31 PM, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

 

That is IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING, isn't it?

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

That is IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING, isn't it?

 

Give the man a kewpie doll!

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

5 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

Give the man a kewpie doll!

 

 

I not only know it, I used to could play it. Although not on the bottles.

[Alpo]

5 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Although, I have a little trouble believing that a second grader knows how to spell ignorant retards. But then, he apparently does not know how to capitalize either the first word in a sentence or the proper noun I. "i'm a second grader and i think..."

[Subdeacon Joe]

18 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Although, I have a little trouble believing that a second grader knows how to spell ignorant retards. But then, he apparently does not know how to capitalize either the first word in a sentence or the proper noun I. "i'm a second grader and i think..."

 

That seems to be the style for online with those under 40.   

I think because so much is posted from phones now.