It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Ozark Huckleberry]

12 hours ago, sassnetguy50 said:

Would he though?  He is carrying two buckets.  No rod, jugs, net, or tackle to indicate fishing.

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-lztFRMqNO/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A lawyer is questioning a cop who is on the witness stand.

Lawyer “How did you know that you were chasing the correct suspect?”

Cop “My partner told me that that guy was the one to arrest.”

Lawyer: “Do you trust your partner?”

Cop: “I trust him with my life.”

Lawyer: “Let’s talk about the trustworthiness of your fellow officers. In your changing room you all have lockers. And every one of the lockers has a padlock on the door. Doesn’t that exhibit a lack of trust?”

Cop: “You bet it does! Occasionally we have lawyers stroll through the locker room.”

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Rip Snorter]

17 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

A tense situation, obviously!

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

A tense situation, obviously!

 

 

 

        .............. their, they're, there ......... feeling better now ?  🥲

[Rip Snorter]

3 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 

 

        .............. their, they're, there ......... feeling better now ?  🥲

Own or exist, a conundrum.

[Subdeacon Joe]

Customer service reps dream call

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAY3R2tpesU/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1237513267195940?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

An Irish farmer is digging potatoes one day when he spies a leprechaun sitting on a wall. He sneaks up behind the little man and grabs his leg and won't let go until the leprechaun agrees to give him three wishes.

He could not make up his mind at that moment so they both went up to the house and had a cup of tea whilst the farmer thought about it.

"Id really like a bottle of Guinness which never empties", he says

Done, says the Leprechaun. It's that bottle up on yer shelf.

Oh I bought that down the pub - yer can't fool me.

no, I've worked me magic on it and now it will never empty. Open it and see.

Ok, says the farmer. He pops the top off the bottle and pours out a glass. The bottle fills itself up when it's back on the table.

See, check it again and poor me a glass too, says the leprechaun.

The farmer, big smile on his face, pours out two glasses and starts dancing around the room as the bottle refills itself.

The farmer is dancing around the room in wonder with a huge grin on his face.

And you've only used one wish, says the leprechaun.

You're right, says the farmer excitedly, I'll have two more of those.

[John Kloehr]

Ole finally got one of those cell phones to carry so Lena could call to update him on traffic, or to remind him to pick up Lutefisk for dinner and such.

 

One day Lena hears a traffic report on the radio and immediately calls Ole. "There is a damn fool driving the wrong way on the highway!"

 

"A damn fool?" Ole replies. "There's dozens!"

[Alpo]

[Alpo]

 

He probably had to swerve to miss the duck.

 

[John Kloehr]

[Alpo]

https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t50.33967-16/459393636_3788726864672111_1882612234680029355_n.mp4?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=55d0d3&efg=eyJybHIiOjE1MDAsInJsYSI6MTAyNCwidmVuY29kZV90YWciOiJwcm9ncmVzc2l2ZV9oMjY0LWJhc2ljLWdlbjJfNzIwcCIsInZpZGVvX2lkIjoxNTUzMTIzMTc4NjczMzQwfQ%3D%3D&_nc_ohc=vRIeFuokfIcQ7kNvgHCGudO&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A9qYZFffDGToOEFH88KaX8Z&oh=00_AYC00rzJX6mmVanQtjhy-UAZjr2B-GXvLJ6VtjOLDih9jg&oe=66FFD192

 

 

Hope that link worked. I don't trust Facebook. But if it worked it takes you to a funny scene at a wedding.

[Alpo]

 

[Alpo]

 

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

7 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

 

One time at church we cooked up a raft of chicken thighs for lunch. Or maybe it was leg quarters.  First baked till done,  then doused in BBQ sauce and finished over charcoal outside.   Done and overdone.  A woman came into the kitchen ranting at us that people were going to get sick because we were serving undercooked chicken.   She was seeing the dark red next to the bone that happens when chicken has been frozen and thawed.   We explained that we had baked then, covered,  at 350°F for an hour to an internal temperature of 165, then they were further cooked on the grill.  The meat would fall off the bone with a good shake.

 

Nope...because there was red they were underdone and she couldn't be convinced otherwise. 

[Calamity Kris]

53 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

One time at church we cooked up a raft of chicken thighs for lunch. Or maybe it was leg quarters.  First baked till done,  then doused in BBQ sauce and finished over charcoal outside.   Done and overdone.  A woman came into the kitchen ranting at us that people were going to get sick because we were serving undercooked chicken.   She was seeing the dark red next to the bone that happens when chicken has been frozen and thawed.   We explained that we had baked then, covered,  at 350°F for an hour to an internal temperature of 165, then they were further cooked on the grill.  The meat would fall off the bone with a good shake.

 

Nope...because there was red they were underdone and she couldn't be convinced otherwise. 

 

Had the same argument with my MIL every Thanksgiving.  She insisted on (over) cooking a turkey breast in the oven because our crispy deep fried turkey was "under cooked".  I wish I could still have that argument with her.......

[Eyesa Horg]

5 minutes ago, Calamity Kris said:

 

Had the same argument with my MIL every Thanksgiving.  She insisted on (over) cooking a turkey breast in the oven because our crispy deep fried turkey was "under cooked".  I wish I could still have that argument with her.......

My buddy, may he RIP, used to cook a turkey until the little pop up thing popped up. Then at least another half hour or so. Took a gallon of beverage to get it down!!! Could never understand, no matter how many times we told him how to cook one. Deep fried wild ones ate excellent!!

[Alpo]

My father-in-law likes his meat well done. So that's how my wife learned to cook it. Like her father liked it. And she insisted that the children would not eat "raw meat". If there was any hint of red showing, she would throw it in the skillet and cook it some more.

 

I smoked a roast one time.

 

When you wet smoke beef, it does not turn brown in the middle. It stays just as red as when it was raw. And she went ballistic, insisting the children would not eat that damn raw meat.

 

While they were scarfing it down just as fast as they could cut it up.

[Subdeacon Joe]

23 minutes ago, Alpo said:

While they were scarfing it down just as fast as they could cut it up.

 

Amazing what a little flavor and tenderness can do for the appetite. 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

 

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]