It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

[John Kloehr]

8 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

It has been found best to avoid the passive voice.

[Subdeacon Joe]

"One can't properly judge Wagner's opera "Lohengrin" after a first hearing. And I certainly don't intend to hear it a second time."

Gioachino Rossini

[John Kloehr]

4 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

"One can't properly judge Wagner's opera "Lohengrin" after a first hearing. And I certainly don't intend to hear it a second time."

Gioachino Rossini

It was outstanding in its field. The further out in the field, the better.

[Alpo]

[Eyesa Horg]

I never Metamucil I didn't like

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

 

RED SKELTON ON JOHN WAYNE

Here are a few jokes and anecdotes that Red Skelton might have used in reference to John Wayne

1. "John Wayne was so tough, he once broke a mirror over his own head and got seven years of good luck!"
2. "You know, I once asked John Wayne if he ever gets tired of being called 'The Duke.' He said, 'Red, I don't mind it at all – it's better than being called 'The Princess!'"
3. "I had the pleasure of working with John Wayne once. He was so tall, I had to stand on a box just to get in the same frame. And he still looked down on me!"
4. "John Wayne had a walk that was all his own. They say he walked like that because he had one leg longer than the other. I say it was because he was always in a hurry to get to the saloon!"
5. "John Wayne made so many westerns, he once told me, 'Red, if I have to ride one more horse, I'm going to ask for a saddle with a cushion!'"
6. "People always said John Wayne wasn't afraid of anything. But I found out his one fear: he was terrified of running out of coffee!"
7. "John Wayne could walk into a room and command it without saying a word. I tried that once, but they just thought I was lost and showed me the way out!"
8. "John Wayne was the ultimate cowboy. I once saw him rope a steer, tie it up, and grill a steak all at the same time. And he did it without spilling his drink!"
9. "John Wayne had that deep, gravelly voice. When he talked, you listened. When I tried to do the same, people thought I had a frog in my throat!"
10. "John Wayne was so popular, even his horses had fan clubs!"

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

[Brazos John]

3 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Pass the Eye Bleach!

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C77JTZFO2k1/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

5 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

1 hour ago, Brazos John said:

Pass the Eye Bleach!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.

One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. "

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember.

Try as he might, he just could not recall.

Not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.

As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."

Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.

Edited June 10, 2024 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Chantry]

9 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

Never be the first to pass out...

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

 

[Alpo]

 

I like this - I found it funny, but I hung my daughter's upside down behind my back till they were in maybe the second grade. And I hung my granddaughters upside down behind my back until they were about 6.

 

If they were older than a second grader they were too long, and with the grand girls I was getting too puny.

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Alpo]

[John Kloehr]

22 minutes ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

Just enough to make the road smooth, on average.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

Last night on my evening walk, I completely lost my mind because ahead of me was a white rabbit sitting upright, waiting for me on my path. I could not believe it.

I took out my phone to take its photo. It didn't move, I wondered if it was an early Easter decoration, but it was too far down on the road and not in front of a home.

 

 

I thought - - it's frightened so it's staying still, take it slow. I walked up to it little by little, carefully, so as not to frighten it. Friends, I just spent a very slow ten minutes walking up to a plastic bag of dog poop.

.

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]