Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 18 Share Posted April 18 proper Englishman, wandering the heaths of Scotland, walks into a pub. “My good man,” he says. “I hear you have 100 year-old Scotch. I would love a bit.” The pub owner takes down a glass and pours an ounce. After a sip, the Englishman says, “Oh my. My dear fellow! That is 20 year-old Scotch! I am here for the 100 year-old!” The pub owner shakes his head, pulls another glass and bottle, and pours the libation. the Englishman takes a sip and declares: “Oh! No! That is 50 year-old Scotch. I want the 100 year-old one. You have it, haven’t you?” The pub owner, now cowed, pulls down another glass and a dusty bottle. He wipes off the bottle and pours it into the glass. The Englishman takes a sip and sighs. “Ah. Now that’s the right stuff! Glorious!” The man next to him nudges him and points to the glass he has pushed over. “Try that!” The Englishman takes a sip and spits it out. “Plah! That’s pi55!” The man replies: “Now tell me how old I am!” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 18 Share Posted April 18 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 18 Share Posted April 18 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brininger Bane Posted April 18 Share Posted April 18 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 My landlady, Morgan, is the city’s only female firefighter. I had trouble replacing a lightbulb, just never got it lined up right. Morgan was coming by today so I asked her to try. While she was doing it she said, “how many firefighters does it take to…” 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 Most common answer is 4, one to hold the bulb and 3 to cut a hole in the roof. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 (edited) Edited April 19 by Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 1 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 5 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said: God forbid men have hobbies ........ or babies ....... 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 5 hours ago, Alpo said: That just doesn't pass the sniff test. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyesa Horg Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said: That just doesn't pass the sniff test. Any glitter? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 1 hour ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said: That just doesn't pass the sniff test. 33 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said: Any glitter? Let me look... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 1 hour ago, Eyesa Horg said: Any glitter? That explains some bills i have got in change... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 On 4/16/2024 at 4:20 AM, Sedalia Dave said: Now, that's FUNNY! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 A Scottish guy wanted a donkey for his young son....he spotted an advert for one for sale so went along to have a look at it. When he got to the farm the farmer told him. 'I'm really sorry...I'm afraid the donkey died last night'... 'OK....so how much are yee asking for it'? 'Sorry? I just told you it's dead'! ‘Aye...I heerd yee...so how much d'yee want fer it'? Very patiently the guy explains very slowly. 'The....donkey...is ...dead'. 'AYE...I heerd yee!...Look...I'll give yee £20.00 for it...noo is it a deal or no'? So the farmer asks ( as you might ). 'what the hell are you going to do with a dead donkey'? 'I'll sell it'!... 'b..b...you can't sell a dead donkey'! 'Watch me'. So he loads up the dead donkey and goes on his way. A month or so later the farmer bumped into the guy at the local market. 'How did you get on with the Donkey'? 'I did very well...I got over £6000.00 fer it'! 'WHAT!? How the hell did you do that'!? 'I sold raffle tickets at £10.00 each...I sold 650 of 'em'! 'Sweet Jesus!...didn't anybody complain that the poor bugger was dead'? 'Aye...the guy that won did...so I gave him a refund'. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 I saw this, and immediately thought of HR Pufnstuf, with Freddy the magical talking flute, and Witchiepoo riding around on her voom broom. And I went looking for a picture. I was hoping to find one that had Witchiepoo in it, but no luck. However I did find this extremely interesting piece of information. There were only 17 episodes, and the show ran every Saturday for 15 years. That's almost 800 showings. Damn. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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