The Aussie Humour Thread

[Brazos John]

11 hours ago, Alpo said:

And just in case you're interested, although everyone refers to them as pennies, we do not have pennies in United States coinage. They are cents.

I wish EVERYONE had more cents (sense?).  

[Black Angus McPherson]

17 hours ago, Alpo said:

I thought everybody knew what d stood for.

 

When you go to the hardware store and you get a box of six penny nails, what does the box say on the end of it?

 

That's right. 6d

 

"When you go to the hardware store and you get a box of six penny nails, what does the box say on the end of it?"

 

"Known to cause cancer in california"?

 

 

[Rip Snorter]

It is that Zinc-ing sensation! Cancerfornia!

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Rip Snorter]

6 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Could you call it a high wire act?

[Buckshot Bear]

1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

Could you call it a high wire act?

 

You can imagine his wife screaming out the window "The picture is still fuzzy"  

[Rip Snorter]

2 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

You can imagine his wife screaming out the window "The picture is still fuzzy"  

I can remember living in fringe areas in broadcast days turning the antenna or putting foil on the rabbit ears.

[John Kloehr]

I think 1/120 of a pound is a d. 1/100 of a pound is a p.

 

Back when it was a d, how many nails of a certain size could one buy for a d.

 

Only we call them pennies now, even though the exchange rate does no work out.

 

A little d is a penny when talking about nails, and a denarius when talking about money, well maybe, at some certain time.

 

I did  a google search and I think this clears it up nicely:

 

Quote

 

…was created when a silver denarius was struck to a weight of 70.5 grains (4.57 grams). Six of these denarii, or “pennyweights,” were reckoned to the ounce (uncia) of 423 grains (27.41 grams), and 72 of them made the new pound (libra) of 12 ounces, or 5,076 grains (328.9 grams).

 

 

 

 

Especially the part about a new pound being 12 ounces. Kind of ties it all together. Especially with reckoning, folks do that a lot (reckon) around were I live.

 

On edit: Bacon used to be sold by the pound, packages are now 14 ounces. We just have to keep up...

Edited April 11, 2023 by John Kloehr

[Eyesa Horg]

1 hour ago, John Kloehr said:

 

On edit: Bacon used to be sold by the pound, packages are now 14 ounces. We just have to keep up...

Picked up 2 "pounds" last week. All brands were 12 oz.

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, John Kloehr said:

I think 1/120 of a pound is a d.

1/240 of a £.

 

12d to a s.

20s to a £.

[Blackwater 53393]

There’s a great little grocery store near me that has an even better butcher/meat department. They slice their own bacon and grind their own sausage, (among other things they do very well) and both are sold by the pound.

 

It’s almost impossible to find a “half gallon” of ice cream anymore. 
 

A loaf of bread is 3/4 to 4/5 the size you used get and is seldom as fresh and never as well baked.

 

My current pet peeve is the size of candy bars!!  What used to be the regular size bar is now the “King” or “Giant”  size and nearly double or even triple the price of just a few years ago and the “regular” size bars are, at best, three bites and cost more than ever!!

 

 

I’m just glad my vehicles don’t run on MILK!

[sassnetguy50]

On 3/19/2023 at 10:31 PM, Alpo said:

So if there was a creek, and you built a structure to block the creek so the water could not continue on downstream (this structure would be called a dam here in the states) the backed up creek water behind the structure would be called a dam in Oz? The backed up water here would be called a lake or a pond, depending on how big a body of water it turned out to be.

 

The pictures appear to be a place where there used to be water - where the water has gone away, possibly because of a drought. Here that would be referred to as mud flats.

The backed up water can also be a reservoir or res for short.

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

On 4/11/2023 at 12:28 AM, Alpo said:

And just in case you're interested, although everyone refers to them as pennies, we do not have pennies in United States coinage. They are cents.

 

And here in Canada we have no cents (or sense for that matter!)

 

Case in point:

Our Prime Minister

[John Kloehr]

17 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Picked up 2 "pounds" last week. All brands were 12 oz.

I just peeked in my fridge, and you are right! I have a 12 ounce pound of bacon.

[Buckshot Bear]

Another old Tourist Poster

 

[Rip Snorter]

1 minute ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Another old Tourist Poster

 

A Super G Constellation unless I am mistaken, flew on one as a boy!

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

3 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

A Super G Constellation unless I am mistaken, flew on one as a boy!

 

Thanks for that, I didn't know what it was but was wondering.....would that place the ad in the late '50's and '60's?

[Rip Snorter]

I can't recall if I was 10 or 11 for the flight but that would be mid '50's.  They went commercial in 1950, Lockheed Super G Constellation search will give more than you want to know!

[Buckshot Bear]

1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

I can't recall if I was 10 or 11 for the flight but that would be mid '50's.  They went commercial in 1950, Lockheed Super G Constellation search will give more than you want to know!

 

Thanks Rip.

[Rip Snorter]

24 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

To my Mother's distress, when on the clothes tree they were a favorite target for my Daisy Red Ryder. Still have it and it still works.

[Buckshot Bear]

2 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

To my Mother's distress, when on the clothes tree they were a favorite target for my Daisy Red Ryder. Still have it and it still works.

 

ROFLMAO !!!! I used to shoot them off the clothesline as well with an air rifle  

[Sedalia Dave]

1 hour ago, Rip Snorter said:

To my Mother's distress, when on the clothes tree they were a favorite target for my Daisy Red Ryder. Still have it and it still works.

 

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

ROFLMAO !!!! I used to shoot them off the clothesline as well with an air rifle  

 I did it once. Grandma was very good at letting me know those were not for target practice. 

[Blackwater 53393]

My maternal grandfather was a crack shot with any kind of gun.  He hunted squirrels because they were pests and rabbits for extra meat. He often said that if you couldn’t shoot a rabbit with a .22, you didn’t deserve to eat it!  He carried a single shot .22 and a shirt pocket with his ammo in it.

 

My grandmother was also an excellent shot. Her garden was the worst place for any kind of varmint to visit!  Some of the critters would end up in the pot, but squirrels, possum, and coons became fertilizer.

 

We never had a BB or pellet gun, but there were .22s aplenty so long as you got permission!  (the clothespins were off limits!)

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

We still have 12 eggs in a carton, Europe has ten, don’t know about Oz.

[Buckshot Bear]

24 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

We still have 12 eggs in a carton, Europe has ten, don’t know about Oz.

 

We have a dozen to a carton here Marshal.

[Cactus Jack Calder]

I found a couple of pictures I thought y’all might enjoy. Here’s the first one.

 

CJ

[Cactus Jack Calder]

Here’s the second one.

 

CJ

[Alpo]

51 minutes ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

I found a couple of pictures I thought y’all might enjoy. Here’s the first one.

 

CJ

It's funny how your sense of humor changes as you age.

 

Back when I was in my twenties I would have thought that was funny. Along with steers and heifers, pointers and setters, buoys and gulls, he's and she's.

 

Now when I see something like that I think that they need to find the manager, go outsideDAMMIT otto YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK SOUTHERN. UPSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE, YOU JERK his head a few times with a baseball bat, and tell him to go put signs on them that say men and women.

 

I no longer consider them funny. Just stupid.

 

 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Alpo

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

It's funny how your sense of humor changes as you age.

 

Back when I was in my twenties I would have thought that was funny. Along with steers and heifers, pointers and setters, buoys and gulls, he's and she's.

 

Now when I see something like that I think that they need to find the manager, go outsideDAMMIT otto YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK SOUTHERN. UPSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE, YOU JERK his head a few times with a baseball bat, and tell him to go put signs on them that say men and women.

 

I no longer consider them funny. Just stupid.

 

 

 

Just cause ya' gettin' older doesn't mean ya' got get old AND crochety  

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Just cause ya' gettin' older doesn't mean ya' got get old AND crochety  

 

 ........ you don't ??  ........... who knew?.......  

[Alpo]

3 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Just cause ya' gettin' older doesn't mean ya' got get old AND crochety  

Sure you do. "Get off my lawn!" If that ain't crochety, I don't know what is.

[Buckshot Bear]

15 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 ........ you don't ??  ........... who knew?.......  

 

You can get old and sweet and like you  (goes hand in hand with senility)