DustyMiller SASS # 54661 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Just some questions. Is bullying more pervasive than it was when we were in school? Can anti-bullying campaigns stop bullying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 The answer is no to both questions. It just gets more attention in the media now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Phil Peeno #50923 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 It may or may not be more prevalent but I think bullying today is much more meaner than in my childhood days. Back then bullying is mostly face to face. Today it hits you from all around. Text messages, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube is the new method of bullying. Also today our kids are taught not fight back instead report bullying to the school administration who has to conduct investigation first before making any decisions. Back then, some of us took matter in our own hands. Remember Ralphie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Long Branch Louie Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I don't think there's necessarily more, but the culture sure has changed. Growing up, the worst we might have would be a fist fight, and usually not much of one at that. Every young boy had a pocket knife, but we didn't think of cutting anybody. One huge difference today is gangs. And don't kid yourself, they are a factor from middle school right on up. I don't know if campaigns help or not, but kids need to know it's OK to tell somebody if they are bullied, before it's too late.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 In my high school it wasn't just fights, I remember a couple of stabbings and once a friend of mine was intentionally hit with a car. Plus most of the "fights" were one person getting their fanny kicked by two or more others. And it's not like I graduated recently.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 My take is that we stopped giving consequences to actions. Now we tell kids, "It is not your fault." How good came come of this, I do not know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 The face of bullying has changed as others have pointed out. Can it be eliminated? Obviously not, but anything done to make the bullies suffer consequences for their actions will help mitigate it. Society wants a quick fix, they want a label for things and a pill to fix the problem. Kids grow up with no shame for wrong actions, if fact the other way around, their peers glorify wrongful actions, it's cool to be labeled with this or that and be given medication for it, and an easy excuse for not taking personal responsibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lefty Stone Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 My wife is a Middle School Principal in the suburbs of Detroit. This is a topic that has become a real hot button for schools and Administrators over the past few years. As many have related above, the nature of bullying has changed with the advent of social media. Face to Face is almost a thing of the past. The lack of social morals among many people adds to the mix. Many kids these days are more than happy to harass, demean and act out against anyone. Add to this parents that take 0 responsibility for their children's behavior and actions and the mix begins to get more explosive. Now add in parents who think that anyone saying anything to their child that hurts their feelings is a case of bullying. All of the above makes me realize the woman is a saint, and that I am lucky to have her. After 25yrs of this nonsense she still has a love and a passion for kids, families, and teaching. She also is enough of a realist to know that the lack of family and moral values in the home is where this toxic mix begins, and ends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Could not agree with you more, Grizz. Now you are in trouble because Badger agrees with you. But the truth of the matter is, what do folks expect? There is an irony to all of it. If you reward creatures for actions that you do not want, and then obsess over the actions you got and they happened, what did you expect? If you always do what your always did, you will always get what you always got. Guess that is an obscure lesson for some folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calamity Kris Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 My wife is a Middle School Principal in the suburbs of Detroit. This is a topic that has become a real hot button for schools and Administrators over the past few years. As many have related above, the nature of bullying has changed with the advent of social media. Face to Face is almost a thing of the past. The lack of social morals among many people adds to the mix. Many kids these days are more than happy to harass, demean and act out against anyone. Add to this parents that take 0 responsibility for their children's behavior and actions and the mix begins to get more explosive. Now add in parents who think that anyone saying anything to their child that hurts their feelings is a case of bullying. All of the above makes me realize the woman is a saint, and that I am lucky to have her. After 25yrs of this nonsense she still has a love and a passion for kids, families, and teaching. She also is enough of a realist to know that the lack of family and moral values in the home is where this toxic mix begins, and ends. +1 Yes your wife is a saint. Bless her for putting up with all this. It can't be easy. I also see another piece to the social media issue. Social media allows for some form of anonymity. Kids and parents can hide behind their persona's and it emboldens them. They can "act" in the third person and feel insulated from the consequences. I have personally seen a case where the parents are living vicariously through their kid. Daddy wasn't allowed to be a "tough guy" in school so he's teaching his son to be the tough guy instead. Dad praises his exploits and the lessons continue. I hope I'm not here to see what happens when this kid becomes a teenager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Social media has made it much worse. Minor name calling and harrassment takes on a whole new dimension in this instant communication age. I would hate to be a school kid today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Kids aren't allowed to stand up to bullies anymore. Both parties in any altercation are suspended from school and no one seems to see a correlation. We had a few bullies at school, but usually a bloody nose or a split lip put a stop to it. That would lead to litigation and apologies, "permanent record" entries of violence, suspension or expulsion, police intervention, and NOBODY in the school or the home held accountable. PC is destroying our world and this is only one small example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Some have mentioned it but fist fights were the rule in settling these matters even though more potent weapons were readily available like knives and guns. We all had em but no one that I know ever stepped over the line because that branded you as a CS thug and NOBODY wanted that label. The shame or the threat of it kept everyone in line. I saw all this beginning to break down in the late sixties as respect for authority and social mores broke down. Way I remember the bullying was more hazing of freshmen than anything else and a lot of it became downright dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 When I was in school the bullies were usually bigger guys with not much else going for them, they weren't particularly smart so they had to demonstrate their superiority in other ways. Now witht he internet, anybody can be a bully if he can do it anonymously. Kids can get picked on in many more ways than before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-BAR #18287 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 One friend opined that bullies should be encouraged to pick on fat kids. This would motivate the fat kids to go to the gym and work out so they could beat up the bullies, thereby eliminating bullies and obesity at the same time. ...it would probably be as successful as any other solution... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 We can say that it's no worse than when we were kids but it is. When elementary school kids are committing suicide because of the continual bullying and harassment something is very very wrong. It's heartbreaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calico Mary Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Is it really getting so much worse or are kids just getting worse at dealing with it? And is the bullying itself that much worse or does it just seem that way since there's more methods for spreading it nowadays? Maybe in some places it's worse now, but I went through one heck of a lot of it when I was growing up (such is life for the ugly, especially if you're smart too), and there were plenty of times growing up when I wanted to kill myself, starting in elementary school. I just never had the guts to try it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I don't know if it is bullying or just simple childhood aggressiveness, but my four year old grandson got into trouble the other day, (runs in the family)when he pushed another little fellow down. He has complained more than once that the other young'un has pushed him. they've both been reprimanded for pushing or hitting each other. This time he retaliated to the next level. I always figured that little guys would dust it up, and back in my youth, it was almost expected. The Bopper, (that's what we call my grandson) is open and sociable, but can do just as well by himself. The teachers love him, but like all children he has his moments, and he won't back down from even the bigger kids. He has an older brother who has learned not to pick on him too much and I guess that's where the little one learned to take up for himself. Where do we draw the line between the normal establishment of natural group "pecking order" and bullying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I don't know if it is bullying or just simple childhood aggressiveness, but my four year old grandson got into trouble the other day, (runs in the family)when he pushed another little fellow down. He has complained more than once that the other young'un has pushed him. they've both been reprimanded for pushing or hitting each other. This time he retaliated to the next level. I always figured that little guys would dust it up, and back in my youth, it was almost expected. The Bopper, (that's what we call my grandson) is open and sociable, but can do just as well by himself. The teachers love him, but like all children he has his moments, and he won't back down from even the bigger kids. He has an older brother who has learned not to pick on him too much and I guess that's where the little one learned to take up for himself. Where do we draw the line between the normal establishment of natural group "pecking order" and bullying? I would say that the two "combatants" were sorting it out. Let them alone but watch that it does not get out of hand. A bloody nose or a missing childhood tooth will not stop the world nor do great harm. A gun shot or a knife wound might. In fact a bloody nose might make a new friend. Sometimes not. It is called life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 My dad told me not to come home and complain about some one pickin' on me. It was up to me to defend myself. Ifn I came home cryin' I got a whippin'! So I was more afraid of my dad than the guy pickin on me. I didnt win very many fights but I did fight. Bullies dont want to pick on some one that will fight back even if the other guy doesnt win the fight. They learned to leave me alone cause I WOULD fight back. My dad was a hard man but not mean or cruel and I thank him for making me a man/ Tascosa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 The answer is no to both questions. It just gets more attention in the media now. Agree'd. GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Agree'd. GG ~ Yep. Human nature is human nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smuteye John SASS#24774 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 My youngest niece went through being bullied in the 4th grade. This particular girl was a head taller and 30 pounds heavier than everybody else in the class and was brutal to an extreme. We ended up carrying my niece to the ER 3 times because of the bullying- once for a broken arm from being pushed down and twice for the bully stomping the side of her ankle in an attempt to break it (it took her 2 tries to get it right). Talking with the teacher (it was happening in PE), the principal and the school district administration did no good. They said that the girl had 'emotional control issues' and tended to 'act out', so it wasn't her fault. I was bullied back when I was in elementary school and knew that she just needed to get fed up with being bullied and stand up for herself but she was worried about 'getting in trouble'. I told her that if she ever decided enough was enough and that she was going to fight back, I (and her Mother and her grandpa and every other adult that talked to her about it) told her to crawl up on top of the girl and make so it took a couple or 4 folks to peel her off of her. If she got suspended, then she got a few free days out of school- and would be carried out to lunch every one of them. A few weeks before school ended, she finally got fed up and followed our advice. She ended up with skinned knuckles and the girl ended up with a black eye and a chipped tooth and, remarkably enough, her 'emotional control issues' came to a screeching halt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I recall being bullied in grade school. Kid was a grade ahead of me, bigger and had a mean streak. He picked on everyone EXCEPT the toughest kid in school that cleaned his clock a few times. One day he said something to me and never being one to keep my opinions to myself, I gave him an ear full. He grinned and said I will see you after school. I forgot about it, but he didn't. After school we went out behind the school house and had at it. I knocked him down. I made the first and biggest mistake. I let him get up. He knocked one tooth loose, and I got a black eye out of it. He continued to pick on me but never enough to cause it to come to fisticuffs. I think the toughest part of the lesson was when my Grandfather chuckled and asked what the other guy looked like and I had to say, that he looked pretty normal. But I learned a valuable lesson that day. Pick you time and pick your fight. Never give the other guy a break if it comes to fist. I had several other scuffles in school but none that were of much more than shoving and trash talk. Seems like the other guy didn't cherish getting his nose flattened even if he did win the battle. Just not worth the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gunner Gatlin, SASS 10274L Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Kids aren't allowed to stand up to bullies anymore. Both parties in any altercation are suspended from school and no one seems to see a correlation. We had a few bullies at school, but usually a bloody nose or a split lip put a stop to it. That would lead to litigation and apologies, "permanent record" entries of violence, suspension or expulsion, police intervention, and NOBODY in the school or the home held accountable. PC is destroying our world and this is only one small example. +1....100% GG ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I believe it's getting worse. My cousin only had to deal with pushing and an occasional scrap. When I was in, I think, the sixth grade, a new student who thought he was the biggest bad@$$ out there started up on me. I didn't back down and stood up to him. We got into a few fights that he couldn't win and I left it at that. Until one day he pulled a knife on me, I broke his arm, left tibia and fibula, and knocked out a few teeth. Guess no one told him that I was top of my class at the dojo. lol. Funny part was I was accused of starting the fight and bringing the knife until one of the coaches who witnessed it spoke up. Found out later that he'd been through 4 schools and juvenile detention several times for bringing knives and threatening people with them. His parents always claimed that he was a good boy and was always the victim of bullies. When parents are blind or don't care how their children act, you get some sadistic bullies. Parents need to teach their kids to stand up and speak up for themselves and others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Our geezer generation has an entirely differest perception of bullying than what's going on now. Physical confrontations by an occasional lummox have turned to attacks by several kids on one victim. And the constant piling on over the internet has made life a living nell for some kids. I think it's much worse these days. Look at those kids bullying thatbelderly bus monitor. Can you imagine that happening 50 years ago? It's a lack of proper upbringing and the emergence of a society that seems to feel personal accountability is unnecessary and meaningless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellowhouse Sam # 25171 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 You brought up a good point Bob. In our day it was always one on one. Now they gang up and it gets dangerous quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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