It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

13 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

But I wanted them all together, like those McDonaldland guys. I wanted Freddy and Puff and Witchiepoo and the little cops and the owl and the little British guy - Jimmy? I wanted them all together in a picture. And I can find group pictures of Puff and the cops and Jimmy and Freddy but Witchiepoo wasn't with them.

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

The Kentucky Derby is just Amish NASCAR

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C52yAScxwm7/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Eyesa Horg]

5 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

That's funny no matter who you are!!

Edited April 22 by Eyesa Horg
Missing word!

[Father Kit Cool Gun Garth]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

The question reminds me of the old Armed Forces Radio announcer, “If you are in the Air Force, it is four in the afternoon. If you are in the Army, it is sixteen hundred hours. If you are in the Navy, it is eight bells. If you are in the Space Force, it is sixteen sidereal hours since midnight, and if you are in the Marines, Mickey’s little hand on on the four and his big hand is on the twelve.”

[DocWard]

On 4/21/2024 at 9:07 AM, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

 

 

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Sedalia Dave]

On 4/21/2024 at 2:21 PM, Alpo said:

But I wanted them all together, like those McDonaldland guys. I wanted Freddy and Puff and Witchiepoo and the little cops and the owl and the little British guy - Jimmy? I wanted them all together in a picture. And I can find group pictures of Puff and the cops and Jimmy and Freddy but Witchiepoo wasn't with them.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.

In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus.

'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.

Angus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Angus said, 'Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road.... '

The solicitor interrupted again and said ,'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'

Now wot da f**k would you say?

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

[Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485]

[DocWard]

8 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

Aren’t you familiar with the phrase “two is one and one is none?” When it comes to coffee, redundancy is vital.

[Alpo]

Is that why I have a Mr Coffee, AND a stove top percolator, AND two French presses, AND a speckleware cowboy coffee pot, AND several individual packets of instant?

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

6 hours ago, Alpo said:

Is that why I have a Mr Coffee, AND a stove top percolator, AND two French presses, AND a speckleware cowboy coffee pot, AND several individual packets of instant?

You don’t have this?

 

 

[Alpo]

No, I like to drink my coffee. My understanding is that Turkish coffee needs to be chewed.

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

No, I like to drink my coffee. My understanding is that Turkish coffee needs to be chewed.

I recall enjoying the coffee.

[DocWard]

8 hours ago, Alpo said:

Is that why I have a Mr Coffee, AND a stove top percolator, AND two French presses, AND a speckleware cowboy coffee pot, AND several individual packets of instant?

 

Get another french press, a pour over maker, an electric espresso and cappuccino maker, a stove top espresso maker and a burr grinder, and you'll be set! Although you do have me on the speckleware coffee pot!

Edited April 24 by DocWard

[Alpo]

28 minutes ago, DocWard said:

Get another french press,

I had another one. I don't know where it went.

28 minutes ago, DocWard said:

a pour over maker,

Can't decide between a single cup

And a small pot

 

28 minutes ago, DocWard said:

an electric espresso and cappuccino maker

Have absolutely no interest in a cappuccino/latte/whatever else you have to foam the milk for

29 minutes ago, DocWard said:

, a stove top espresso maker and a burr grinder

But a moka pot is on my list

 

And I keep flip flopping on a coffee grinder. Do I really want to get that involved?

[Alpo]

Back when Michael came to pay us a visit, and we were without power for a month. My daughter and her sister came down to help. The first morning we fire up the propane stove and boil some water. Take the basket from the Mr Coffee set it on top of the carafe, then pour the hot water through the coffee into the pot. That's a lot more difficult than it seems. That afternoon, my daughter's sister is looking through the cabinets and she turns to me accusingly and says, "YOU'VE GOT A FRENCH PRESS!!!"

 

Apparently we were supposed to use the French press instead of trying to make Mr Coffee squatting on our knees on the driveway (my daughter had expected that this might be messy so we did it outside).

 

But I had forgotten all about the damn thing.

[DocWard]

7 hours ago, Alpo said:

I had another one. I don't know where it went.

Can't decide between a single cup

And a small pot

 

I went the single cup route. Good for a single cup, and less storage space taken

7 hours ago, Alpo said:

Have absolutely no interest in a cappuccino/latte/whatever else you have to foam the milk for

But a moka pot is on my list

 

You foam for the cappuccino. Good stuff, either way, but I won't judge. I would enjoy a larger espresso maker like the one you posted.

 

7 hours ago, Alpo said:

And I keep flip flopping on a coffee grinder. Do I really want to get that involved?

 

Yes, you do. It really isn't that much more work, and worth the effort. Definitely go the burr route, though. Much more consistent grind.

 

I stop short of being like a doctor I served with in the Guard who roasted his own beans. That's too much even for me.

[John Kloehr]

14 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

You clearly missed several steps. First, I see no side salad as a starter to go with the shake.

 

Next, a filet mignon with sides of mashed potatoes and tender-crisp sautéed vegetables. And then a desert.

 

You  were on the right track making two shakes, but likely need a third to go with the rest of the ingredients. For balance in your diet.

 

Keep trying, you are on the right track.

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

14 hours ago, John Kloehr said:

For balance in your diet.

I thought a balanced diet meant a beer in each hand.

Edited April 25 by Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

15 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

You don’t have this?

 

 

 

 

I had a ~12 oz. version of that that I used at reenactments.  One evening, Friday set up, I got there early, got my tent set, got the fire area cleared, pit dug, and fire going for my evening meal.  A young man showed up - he had worked a graveyard shift and driven from Bakersfield to Camp Meeker (near Jenner) in northern CA.  He was dog tired, smelled my coffee, asked if he could have a cup.  So I brewed one for him, even scrapped some sugar from the piloncillo for him.  I don't think he had every had a cup of COFFEE, just Starbucks stuff.  His eyes flew wide open..."That's STRONG!"  I took the cup, sipped, "No, that's just coffee, about normal strength."