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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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'THE HEALTHIEST PLAY IS OUTDOOR PLAY!'
Sydneysider John Heine began manufacturing flat-framed tricycles in 1913.
By 1926 Heine's company, Cyclops, was supplying wheeled toys such as doll's prams and pedal cars to stores across Australia.
In the 1950s Cyclops was acquired by British toy conglomerate, Lines Bros, but continued to operate from their Leichhardt factory until 1985. In 1992 Cyclops returned to Australian ownership and bicycles are being still being manufactured under the company name today.
Cyclops advertisement, Australian Women’s Weekly, 30 July 1952,
 
 
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Question: How do you tell the difference between a NSW, QLD or VIC Police Officer?

Answer: Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?---------

NSW Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 0-0-0?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour.
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?.------------------------

QUEENSLAND Officer Answer: BANG! -----------------------------------------

VICTORIAN Officer Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click....(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

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Guard of honour at a wedding
A bride and groom leaving a church walking beneath a guard of honour of sloped rifles held by uniformed soldiers in Adelaide, South Australia.
A researcher has said this couple is Alfred Gustav Reiss & his bride Lillian Coles. They were married at St Andrews Church in Walkerville SA. Approximately c.1917
Alfred fought on the Hindenburg Line and was killed in action 29th September 1918 age 23 years.
 
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3 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

Aussie censorship!:P

 

image.png.7bf3a9313a6cd13045ee28ec80d1c655.png


that darn stuff just keeps getting in they way…….

 

Just sayin’

 

Sam Sackett 

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5 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

412274900_347755007863914_7491278555957563130_n.jpg.1409ef37efcb2de76e342de48381ad62.jpg

All the internet seems to think that RBT stands for is registered behavior technician. Whatever the hell that is. It doesn't seem to agree with a cop sitting in the middle of a desert.

 

So - I don't get it.

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Just now, Alpo said:

All the internet seems to think that RBT stands for is registered behavior technician. Whatever the hell that is. It doesn't seem to agree with a cop sitting in the middle of a desert.

 

So - I don't get it.

 

Random Breath Testing 

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