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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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1 hour ago, Sedalia Dave said:

image.png.0fbbe2eee4cc9489a9364cd8e832cf41.png

 

    ...... it's a good thing you're not lixdexik or you might get some letters mixed up ......  

 

  ......... 'cause Terb and Urnie would be wrong ......  -_-

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Holiday Safety.

 

Remember everyone, with the coming holiday festivities travel will be an inherent danger. Roads are icy and there are more cars on them.
Statistics clearly show that 36% of all injury or fatality accidents show that in one or both cars, an alcohol-impaired driver was at the wheel!
Which means that in 64% of the accidents, teetotalers were at the wheel. 
Please keep your family and others safe. Have a couple of snorts prior to getting behind the wheel.

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Once a young Navy officer asked Admiral Hyman Rickover, the father of the Nuclear Navy, why they stopped naming submarines after fish. The officer reminded Rickover the naming went back many years, and it just made sense.

Rickover looked at the young officer and replied-

main-qimg-2a4a440db5b759be1e84a59c707e7962

Fish Don’t vote!

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3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Holiday Safety.

 

Remember everyone, with the coming holiday festivities travel will be an inherent danger. Roads are icy and there are more cars on them.
Statistics clearly show that 36% of all injury or fatality accidents show that in one or both cars, an alcohol-impaired driver was at the wheel!
Which means that in 64% of the accidents, teetotalers were at the wheel. 
Please keep your family and others safe. Have a couple of snorts prior to getting behind the wheel.

Similarly, the odds of a bomb on an airplane are 1,000,000:1. The odds of two bombs being on a plane are (1,000,000 X 1,000,000):1. Clearly, the prudent path is to bring your own bomb on the plane...

 

This was a separate post but this forum merges them.

 

402094248_324846206948649_49306934779391

Edited by John Kloehr
Add complaint about forum auto-merge "feature"
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7 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

FB_IMG_1700110179382.jpg.7468a660cc45e8b793257f4d67a4ade6.jpg

 

Then restart it, look up the ship, read the history, get distracted by the armament, Google all of those, share some on social media, then look up 5 minutes later and see the closing credits 

That is why they make the pause button.

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2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

But it will only take a minute to look up how old that actor is!  :lol:

There, see? He's 38 years old.

What did I just miss?  :huh:

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3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

But it will only take a minute to look up how old that actor is!  :lol:

 

21 minutes ago, Brazos John said:

There, see? He's 38 years old.

What did I just miss?  :huh:

 

Well, based on the time stamps of the posts - 2 hours and 39 minutes or probably the whole movie!:P

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An aspiring young lawyer was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him.

The Devil told the lawyer "I have a proposition for you…"

"You can win every case you try for the rest of your life.

Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, and grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners."

The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks:

So, what’s the catch?

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