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Friday Humor - jump in and add some


Pat Riot

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2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

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Take your gooood mace - lollipop

Then a saracen - you'll quickly drop

You'll crack some heads - with the good mace lollipop

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I was at the airport and saw a woman wearing a tee shirt that said “GUESS”.

I said “200 pounds?”

She got really angry. 
I don’t understand. 

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This is a true story about Suzee Silk Knickers. I know it's true, because she told it to me.

 

She had gone to London to visit her brother. They were to meet in the Metro, or the Underground, or whatever the hell they call the Subway over there. She's standing where they're supposed to be, and she sees this guy giving her the eye. Up and down. Well, that's all right. She's a good looking woman. She's used to guys giving her the eye. At that time she was doing competitive swimming, and she said she was in the best shape of her life.

 

The man walks over to her and asks, "100 pounds?". She shook her head and replied, "110". He appeared to think for a moment, then nodded and said, "d'accord".

 

At that point her brother walked up, grinning, took the Frenchman by the elbow and led him away while talking to him. The Frenchman grinned and walked off.

 

Her brother came back to her and said, "Suz, he wasn't asking your weight. He was asking your price".

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11 hours ago, Alpo said:

That is so cold. Probably comes from living up there in Canada. It freezes your milk of human kindness.

Freezes? That's flat out CURDLED!

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4 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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I believe it’s self explanatory. Probably at a fairgrounds or somewhere where horse shows occur.

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2 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Well ya wouldn't want em eatin the urinal cakes would ya 

Yeah! And definitely not out of the urinals in the Ladies Room. :blink:

 

:P:lol:

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4 hours ago, DocWard said:


I believe it’s self explanatory. Probably at a fairgrounds or somewhere where horse shows occur.

I don't know. The sign says BATHROOMS. Everywhere I've seen in this country where you can go in there to tinkle or poop, they call that a restroom. A bathroom would need to have either a tub or a shower or both.

 

I'm having a little trouble visualizing a bathroom at a fairgrounds. But at a campground...

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12 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

I watch people crossing the road looking at their phones!

I've almost run them over when they pop out from between cars. But they are Ivy league, so they are entitled to do whatever they want. You need to move your head like an owl driving thru Dartmouth, even at 5 mph. Got to watch one walk right into the side of an UPS truck stopped for the light. The phone went under the truck. Pretty funny from my perspective!

 

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