Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 Good 'un, J Mark! That'll be today's! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 got beat up by a coffee pot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 #14 "I handed out one too many a$$kickin's!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 I fell , BUT , I saved the whiskey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kulshan 20262 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 The bungee jumping line was 4 inches too long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 15. My roller-skate threw a wheel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 had to jump off a burning hover board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 had to jump off a burning hover board That's IT! That'll be Friday's line...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Duncan Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 16. Arm wresting. 17. Picking your nose. 18. Playing footsie with the wife. She won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Horse kicked me. Always worked for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Well see, there was these three slavers trying kidnap the college girl and I happened by and took my .45 out and went a-charging in......! Might as well go out looking heroic. Did I ever tell you about my Super-Heroic Honorific Valorious Gold-With-Diamonds-and-Rubies Medal First Class I got from the Turkish Navy in Vietnam for saving their General Admiral from a VC hit squad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warden Callaway Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Son Chris ran into the front bumper of out IH Scout when he was a rambunctious toddler. The injury left a V shaped scar at the hairline on his forehead. I'm sure he makes up another story every time he's asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 The Route 66 Casino down near Albuquerque is givin away 2 F150s at the end of the month. So that will give me 16 more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Bob, I think mebbe ya was aimin' for the "how many cylinders" thread. *Miss!* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Wouidn't apply here, but I know a feller that was born with no fingers on his left hand. Amazing how many people don't notice that. And when they do they get all, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAND?!?!?!?!?" He tells 'em an alligator bit him. Or about trying to catch a samurai sword. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 The neighbor wouldn't quick parkin' his Buick in my space so I drop kicked it over the roof of his house. Forgot how heavy a Buick was ... his kid's Pontaic warn't near so hard to boot! (About them missin' left fingers ... a child with an artificial arm got periodically tired of wearing the mechanical device and sometimes just went without. He was in a grocery store with his Mama and other kids got to looking and pointing and whispering, and pretty soon they put one up to coming over and asking what happened to his arm. He grabbed his empty T-shirt sleeve and yelled "I lost my arm! Ma! Ma, I lost my arm!" He looked at the ready-to-panic kid who'd just asked him and screamed, "HAVE YOU SEEN MY ARM?" The kids scattered like a covey of quail.) A friend's father had no left hand, he got careless with a shotgun one time, and one time is all it took. He and his boy were showing horses at the fair. A snooty looking city woman came mincing through the barn, sniffing with disdain, it was clear her boy wanted to see the horsies and such filthy creatures were beneath her, but for the child's sake, she came along with ill grace. The lad reached up and stroked the horse's nose when it reached down to sniff companionably at the lad, and the mother sniffed, "Will it bite?" Old Charley held up his stump and said "Yup." She grabbed her little boy's wrist and set the land speed record getting out of that barn, her kid was trailin' behind her like the tail of a kite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 back to the op had to jump outta bed to escape a cell phone blowin up CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzly Dave Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Similar to Blackwaters.... 'guy asked me a stupid question and I kicked him in the butt, dang he had a boney butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 My Toe-lio (sounds like polio) has flared up again. Yeah, they're still searching for a vaccine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramblin Gambler Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 I don't know why you need to make up stories. I have a cut on my arm from when 5 ninjas attacked me. The one who managed to cut me is the only one I let live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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