Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 So I severely sprained an ankle about three weeks ago; mending up is taking a while. Been wearing a post-op shoe and hobbling about on a cane And folks keep asking me how I did it - but after saying "I stepped wrong on a pebble in the driveway" countless times, I decided to come up with some more innerestin' explanations. Like... "Tripped over the cat. But don't worry; he's okay!" or, last Friday evening, buying Helen Brimstone's grandson a new pair of Van's (shoes popular with skateboarders), the sales clerk asked "Wow! What happened to you??" I immediately blurted out "Dang! Froze a bearing on my board!" Someone in the office asked, and my reply was "I wuz breakdancing and slipped off the danged curb!" Needin' some more ideas though... anyone wanna contribute? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 A friend bent over to pick up a pencil and split his forehead on the edge of a counter. After many explanations he began telling everyone he bit himself. When asked how could he possibly have bitten himself on the forehead? He told them he stood on a chair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Nelson Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 My go-to explanation when I don't want to explain an injury is, "I won a fight with the lawn mower / snowblower." I've been known to say "I lost a bet," too. People are more ready to believe that one. You could try "I hurt it fishing. Fishing for sympathy." <stare> "Nope, guess they're still not biting." Or "I thought I was gonna kick the bucket, but I missed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudgeBagodonuts Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 My favorite line is "You should have seen the other guy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clay Mosby Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 "I had an argument with myself..... and I lost!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blastmaster Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 'I thought I was Superman!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 "I forgot to act my age..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Stepped on a land mine. Bad case of sticking my foot in my mouth. Leaping over tall buildings in a single bound. Kicking away all the women who keep groveling at my feet. Pole vaulting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooting Bull Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Slipped on a handicap ramp during a stage at Winter Range. (Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 6. Shot myself in the foot. 7. Break Dancing. 8. Getting into my Yoga position. 9. Stealing Watermelons. 10. Racing to the dinner table. 11. Scratching behind my ear. 12. Wrestling with the wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 6. Shot myself in the foot. 7. Break Dancing. 8. Getting into my Yoga position. 9. Stealing Watermelons. 10. Racing to the dinner table. 11. Scratching behind my ear. I like #11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 6. Shot myself in the foot. 7. Break Dancing. 8. Getting into my Yoga position. 9. Stealing Watermelons. 10. Racing to the dinner table. 11. Scratching behind my ear. 12. Wrestling with the wife. I like #11 Me Too....!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorado Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Some thing I've used a lot is: Well It's a long story but it involves a telephone pole and a Panda bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Nelson Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 "The crickets around here are meaner than they look!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 When the Thompson ran out of ammunition, I tried to kick box my way out. I did get a ribbon for second place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dantankerous Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I got an owie when I saved a Cub Scout Troop from a marauding pack of feral chupacabras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 "Aww... I just got a little hitch in my giddyup." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 My father slipped on the back step with the result of a large bruise on his forehead. When people asked, as they invariably did, what happened, he said, "My wife, her 2x4, none of your damn business". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 My father slipped on the back step with the result of a large bruise on his forehead. When people asked, as they invariably did, what happened, he said, "My wife, her 2x4, none of your damn business". Good 'un! By the way... I used the "scratching behind the ear" no less than four times last night. But today's Toosday... gotta switch to a new one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chili Pepper Kid, SASS #60463 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 It started with "Hold my beer and watch this". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I think Rpn Ron has nailed Tuesday's theme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Uh... "Rpn?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Hey, just because I am a bit slow, you don't have to call me out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 I'll bite... Who's "Ron?" Hey! My son was 19 before I realized his name wasn't really Sassparilla Kid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Ron = CHILLI PEPPER KID It started with "Hold my beer and watch this". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Ya know... I think I might've known that at one time. But hey... I'm old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 WHO ISN'T? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 13. Slipped off my Pogo Stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Just keep your hula hoop on, Birdgun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 13. Slipped off my Pogo Stick. I likie! Gonna be usin' that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I'll bite... Who's "Ron?" Hey! My son was 19 before I realized his name wasn't really Sassparilla Kid! First time I went to Fandango, I went to see about where I was bunkin', and told a feller that "Cassidy said I had a place in the Posse 1 lot". He turns around and says, "Another one of Keith's people." I'm standing there wondering, "Who the hell is Keith?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forty Rod SASS 3935 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Well see, there was these three slavers trying kidnap the college girl and I happened by and took my .45 out and went a-charging in......! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Just keep your hula hoop on, Birdgun. If'n your hula hoop has a nail in it, for you Navy pukes, the hula hoop would be a...."Navel Destroyer"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardpan Curmudgeon SASS #8967 Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 13. Slipped off my Pogo Stick. I likie! Gonna be usin' that one... Okay... used #13 three times last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. Mark Flint #31954 LIFE Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I went cow tipping and one stepped on my foot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.