It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

[G W Wade]

13 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Sounds like a good day to me.      GW

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Boudreaux, an 80-year-old Louisiana Cajun, goes to the doctor for his every year check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape he is. "How do you stay in such great physical condition, Boudreaux?"

“I stay in de swamp and I hunt and fish every day," say de old Cajun. "Dat's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out huntin' or fishin' ... all day. I have a beer wid breakfast and at lunch and wid my supper. An' I have a shot of hooch before bedtime. An' I say my prayers every night. An' dat's why all is well wid me."

“Well", says the doctor, "I'm sure the prayers help, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

"Who say Pop is dead?"

The doctor is amazed. "You mean you are 80 and your father is still alive? How old he is?"

"Pop be a-hundred next month ... Fac', he hunt wid me dis mornin', and den we been to a beer joint for a while and had a few beers and dat's why he's still alive. He a tough Cajun man and he hunt and fish everyday, too.”

"Well, the doctor says, that's great! But, I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said Paw Paw's dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you are 80, your father is 100 and your grandfather is still living? Incredible! How old he is?"

"We tink mebbe 'bout 118," say the old Cajun. “He like his beer, too, but he don't touch de hard stuff no more."

The doctor is frustrated at this point, "So, I guess your grandfather went hunting and fishing with you and your father this morning, too?"

"Naw ... Paw Paw couldn't go dis time. He gettin' married today."

Now, the doctor is close to losing it ... "Getting married! Why would a 118-year-old man want to get married?"

Boudreaux, he look down at de floor and mumble ...

"Who said he wanted to.”

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

2 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

 

 

    ....... or my wallet ......  

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

That's a cute commercial. I wonder, though, why everyone was speaking English. I looked up the Maestro Burger. It says it was a limited edition thing in the Netherlands.

 

Funny, but I thought they spoke Dutch there.

[Subdeacon Joe]

8 minutes ago, Alpo said:

That's a cute commercial. I wonder, though, why everyone was speaking English. I looked up the Maestro Burger. It says it was a limited edition thing in the Netherlands.

 

Funny, but I thought they spoke Dutch there.

 

https://www.behance.net/gallery/112671151/McDonalds-Maestro-burger

 

I think they also released that ad in Denmark and a couple of other countries.

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

That's a cute commercial. I wonder, though, why everyone was speaking English. I looked up the Maestro Burger. It says it was a limited edition thing in the Netherlands.

 

Funny, but I thought they spoke Dutch there.

My experience is that the Dutch are proud of their language skills and are offended if you try to speak Dutch.

 

There were three Dutch programmers visiting us in NH. We went to lunch, they asked the waitress if she had any Dutch beers. She said no, so they asked about German beers. The first word out of her mouth was “Heineken.”

Edited July 19, 2023 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984

[Alpo]

1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

are offended if you try to speak Dutch.

I'm sure they would be offended if I tried to speak Dutch.

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

when I was in Germany , most of them , spoke better English than I do 

 

  and I butchered German , with an added southern drawl 

 

  CB 

 

  

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Montgomery is known to have had an ego.

 

Once, when asked to name three generals he admired most, Montgomery replied: ‘The other two would be Alexander the Great and Napoleon.’

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Alpo]

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

3 hours ago, Alpo said:

It depends on how big a snake you have.

[Alpo]

Star Wars trivia

 

What was Yoda's last name?

 

Layheehooo

[Alpo]

 

 

Of course, that's not a barbecue. That's a cookout. But what would Europeans know? Most people up north think that's a barbecue too.

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

  

 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

A man is sitting on his porch when he notices two blondes working down the road. They both have shovels. One of them digs a hole and the other immediately fills it in. The man watches them for a few hours and finally approaches them, "You guys look like you're working hard. But I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish."

One of the blondes replies, "Well there's usually three of us, but the one that plants the trees is sick."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

4 hours ago, Alpo said:

 

 

Of course, that's not a barbecue. That's a cookout. But what would Europeans know? Most people up north think that's a barbecue too.

Don’t forget the Aussies!

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Texas Maverick]

[Subdeacon Joe]

The magic mushroom that makes tanks disappear.
 

[Alpo]

[Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

I have a stack of stickers of this and randomly place them near outlets and powerboxes here at work.  They are still all up and I havent heard anybody say anything about them.  I'm guessing warning labels are generally ignored no matter what they warn of.

 

Maybe I will put one in the safety guy's office and see if he notices it....

[Alpo]

[Sedalia Dave]

19 hours ago, Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 said:

  

 

 I’d rather be rich enough to afford to feed it. 

 

Edited July 21, 2023 by Sedalia Dave