It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Alpo]

I knew burning books was bad, but I did not realize I was still upset about it.

 

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[DocWard]

On 8/4/2023 at 11:16 AM, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

 

In college I took an upper level Shakespeare course in which we were broken up into groups to do projects to present to the class. My group decided to do the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet in different variations, including as farce and with Romeo as essentially a voyeur and a bit of a... well, pervert. (Cue Juliet on the balcony sliding her hand over her posterier and Romeo saying “See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O, that I were a glove upon that hand That I might touch that cheek!")  Add comments below, but yes, I played the part of Romeo.

 

When we were done, the class got the opportunity to critique us. One girl went on a mini-tirade that the story is about true love, and it was appalling... etc... Our professor had a hard time keeping a straight face as he shut her down and set her straight. I got an A, along with the girl that played Juliet, because we did all the heavy lifting in our group, coming up with the ideas and working it out. Our professor then asked the two of us if we would be willing to go to a local high school to present to a couple of classes. All in all, a fun time. No, it is not a love story.

[Subdeacon Joe]

6 minutes ago, DocWard said:

Romeo as essentially a voyeur and a bit of a... well, pervert. (Cue Juliet on the balcony sliding her hand over her posterier and Romeo saying “See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O, that I were a glove upon that hand That I might touch that cheek!")  

 

Oh!  You did the deleted scene! 

[Rip Snorter]

One of my college majors was Drama, and the school had a very fine and connected department.  We had some near famous guest instructors.  We had one from the Royal Shakespeare Company.  He coached me and my girlfriend through the Nunnery scene from Hamlet.  I would hazard a guess he was gay, a not so obvious thing in the mid '60's, as he demonstrated and played both parts better than either of us.  Can't recall his name, but quite an actor.

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

 

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

Irish Weather

 

https://youtu.be/OwtRoOKbrms

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Two sisters inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 available.

The older sister says, "I’m going to take the bus to the stockyards since you need the pick-up truck. When I get there, if I decide to buy a bull, I'll contact you to bring the pickup truck and trailer and haul it home."

The older sister arrives at the stockyard, inspects a bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she makes her way to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram telling her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister, telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator said he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, she only had one dollar, enough to send one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her this word: comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to the pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

She explained, "This is a big word for my sister. So she'll read it very slowly ... sounding it out as com-for-da-bull."

[Alpo]

[DocWard]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a woman rushed to help him. As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Watching The Lincoln Lawyer, on the wall in a defense lawyer’s office is a mounted large mouth bass with the words IF YOU HAD KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

His first conceal carry gun

 

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

It's not the sound of the men working on the chain gang, it's the sound of seniors doing.... well.... almost anything.

[John Kloehr]

22 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

It's not the sound of the men working on the chain gang, it's the sound of seniors doing.... well.... almost anything.

Stretching exercise;

 

Head, shoulders, knees, and ouch! Knees and ouch!

Edited August 6, 2023 by John Kloehr
Otto must suffer a lingering and painful demise

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

41 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

Stretching exercise;

 

Head, shoulders, knees, and ouch! Knees and ouch!

Stand up... Sit down. Staaaand up, Sit Down! Staaaaaand up, come on, YOU CAN DO IT! Sit DOWN!

[Alpo]

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

19 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Said plan usually involves rolling over onto arm and knees, then finding a chair to use as a ladder. 

[Alpo]

I was out in the backyard with the dog one night. Stepped in one of her holes, went down. Crawled 20 feet to the clothesline, and pulled myself up the clothesline pole.

 

Legs don't lift like they used to.

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Alpo]

[Alpo]