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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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1 hour ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

about Calvin Coolidge…
 

Both his dry Yankee wit and his frugality with words became legendary. His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, recounted that a young woman sitting next to Coolidge at a dinner party confided to him she had bet she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, “You lose.”

When asked why he chose not to run for reelection, he is reported to have said, "No chance for advancement."

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During one of Reagan’s visits to the UK, Ron and Her Majesty were in Hyde Park, London, in a formal carriage pulled by 6 matching white horses. Very formal, very regal, very grand. The guards on horseback, marching soldiers in full regalia - the whole 9 yards.

One of the 2 rear horses suddenly lets out a ghastly green fart - the vapors overwhelming the carriage driver, and the soldiers nearby, and of course Liz and Ron. After they recover, and realizing just how extraordinarily bad this was, the Queen just had to say something. So she said “You know, Mr President, there are things even the Queen of England cannot control!”.

He responded, “Ma’am, until you said something, I thought that was one of the horses…”

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17 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

 

 ........ PURE EVIL (genius)    :)

Go to google search.

 

Search just the word "askew."

 

It is one of many google Easter eggs.

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9 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

During one of Reagan’s visits to the UK, Ron and Her Majesty were in Hyde Park, London, in a formal carriage pulled by 6 matching white horses. Very formal, very regal, very grand. The guards on horseback, marching soldiers in full regalia - the whole 9 yards.

One of the 2 rear horses suddenly lets out a ghastly green fart - the vapors overwhelming the carriage driver, and the soldiers nearby, and of course Liz and Ron. After they recover, and realizing just how extraordinarily bad this was, the Queen just had to say something. So she said “You know, Mr President, there are things even the Queen of England cannot control!”.

He responded, “Ma’am, until you said something, I thought that was one of the horses…”

 

If that indeed did happen, which I very much doubt, I can see Her Majesty laughing uproariously at it!

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A story about Calvin Coolidge (and supposedly the source of the 'Coolidge Effect'):

 

President and Mrs. Coolidge were touring a farm, the president escorted by the farmer, Mrs. Coolidge by the farmer's wife.

 

Mrs. Coolidge noticed a rooster mating with a hen, and asked her guide "Does that happen often?" The wife's response -- "All day long." Whereupon Mrs. Coolidge quipped, "Please tell that to Mr. Coolidge."

 

The farmer's wife passed on the request to her husband, and as they later passed through the chicken yard the farmer pointed out the rooster's enthusiasm to the president.

 

"Same hen every time?" The president asked.

 

"No, different hens." Was the reply.

 

"Please tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

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One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck and cut him off couple of times. The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so f***ing funny.

The blonde giggled and replied, “Every time you had your back turned, I stepped outside the circle!"

Edited by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984
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2 hours ago, Alpo said:

Take a little NyQuil and it won't matter whether you're naked or not.humorNyQuil.JPG.60820a637884e83afe3367bc8869ca1e.JPG

 

In a dr Watkins cough syrup bottle

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