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Ba-Dump Tissssh - Memes

Pat Riot

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40 minutes ago, Alpo said:


Jack, I don't know what the emergency number is in Oz. In England it's 999. So if you need the cops or an ambulance or whatever you call that number.


Here in the states it's 911. So people see the horses lying down in the pasture and call 911 because "the horses are sick or dying".


I was at a zoo several years ago, and there was a monkey in a cage that had blood all down its legs. There was a sign on the cage that said the monkey is not hurt. Like all female primates, it bleeds from its groin once a month.


I had never considered that monkeys had a period, but apparently lots of people were rushing to the zookeeper to tell them their monkey was hurt.

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Had a horse hit by a semi and ended up dead in the median.  Summertime.  By 10 am, the horse was swelling up.  Got two calls there was a horse delivering a foal in the median.


No, he ain't having a foal.  I'm sure.

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I just got home from walking idiot child here, and she flopped down in the front yard and wiggled around scratching her back. When she had scratched upENOUGH she just stopped, and was lying there doing the dead cockroach, on her back with her feet in the air. A car came by and screeched to a halt and this woman jumps out of the passenger seat and ran up in the yard saying, "what happened to her?"


She told me that as they were passing by she saw the dog and made the woman driving the car stop. "I know that man. His dog is dead. Oh no!"


It's a woman lives down the street, and on our walk she would occasionally pet doofus here.

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