Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 I am almost sure I should hang my head in shame and that I should wear a (paper) grocery sack over my head when in decent company! After re-enacting as Brother William, calligrapher and scribe and Cistercian monk of the 10th century, I write out of habit in a calligraphic font. This means I could never make a living robbing banks ... a holdup note would be instantly recognized! I'm told I still have a Suth'n accent (I can't hear it but apparently these Northern Ohio Yankees can) so I can't make a living as an obscene phone caller! Went to Urgent Care last night and was told among other things to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking and stop wenching ... I smoked once, as a five year old I swiped one of Pappy's Marsh Wheeling stogies and a Lucifer match and disappeared around the corner of the garage ... I staggered back the color of spring grass. Only time I ever smoked. Never since. Granddad, rest his soul, was a moonshiner and a moonrunner ... and I don't drink. As far as wenching ... was I to call my wife a wench, my face would be suddenly big and round and the exact shape of her hard swung frying pan! Not only have I failed as a bank robber and as an obscene phone caller, I've failed in stopping smoking, drinking and wenching! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Wine, women, and song. I suppose you still sing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 Posted April 14, 2019 Author Share Posted April 14, 2019 ... a tenor solo ... ... ten miles away, so low I can't be heard ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Linn Keller, SASS 27332, BOLD 103 said: I am almost sure I should hang my head in shame and that I should wear a (paper) grocery sack over my head when in decent company! Stay away from people that would be considered decent company! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G W Wade Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Mr Keller. I have read about abstaining from activities of which you speak. To name a few, such as drinking, smoking, overindulgence, and womanizing, etc. AND decided to give up on reading. The choice is yours, I made mine. GW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 If I didn't have my vices I wouldn't have much at'all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Everybody dies from something, why not have fun on the way out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 7 minutes ago, Yul Lose said: Everybody dies from something, why not have fun on the way out? Might as well. I certainly wouldn't want to be some health nut laying there dying of nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perro Del Diablo Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Only quiters give up. Go back to doc with stogie in teeth 2 young wenches on your arms each holding bottles finest bathtub experiment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yul Lose Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 12 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said: Only quiters give up. Go back to doc with stogie in teeth 2 young wenches on your arms each holding bottles finest bathtub experiment. That’s what I’m talkin about!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Now, now. I bet there are ways that you will make a wonderful Horrible Example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocWard Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I spent most of my money on ale and wenches. The rest I just wasted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Riot Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 If I had a dollar for every drink I ever took I would indeed be rich. Rich in the knowledge that I had a great time. ...while it lasted. Alas, I no longer drink. It got the better of me. I would like those dollars though. My gun safes would be full and I would have several motorcycles...probably a nice RV too! As for smoking, I wish I had never started, but I did. No use fretting over it. I haven’t had a smoke in over a year and a half. I do not miss it. As for wenching? Before getting married I dearly loved the ladies. Now I dearly love my wife of 39 years, what’s even more special, she dearly loves me. To love is wonderful. To be loved is the most fabulous gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noz Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I had a visit with my Dr. recently and she asked about my lifestyle, specifically how's my sex life, my smoking and my drinking. I told her that with 80 years on my back, 60 some of those years as a heavy smoker, radiation for prostate cancer and subsequent hormonal treatment, sex is a fond memory. Smoking was conquered around 20 years ago. She asked how much I drank and what variety. I told her I have found a love for Irish whiskey. She said, "Well, we'll have to fix that". I informed her that they had successfully "fixed" me and if she was going to suggest taking my Irish away from me that I had a good solution, I would change Doctors. I said, "Your choice". She said "I'll see you in 6 months". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 As SDJ has pointed out, I would be honored if you would join me in the Bad Example category for a time. Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tascosa, SASS# 24838 Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Bad example is a term that is incorrect (for me). I consider myself a fun example. Of course smoking is out, and as for wenching, my little blonde ranch foreman or foreperson, is from muleshoe Tx, and those ladies don't tolerate their guy 'wenching' unless they are the wenches. I got wapped upside the head for looking at a pair of Blanchard spurs at a roping. Well they were on a girl wearing stretch gold lame' pants but it was the spurs that had my attention. any cowboy knows Blanchard spurs are very special. Still love my Crown and Forty Creek, and beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Sheridan Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I never spent any of my life smoking, boozing or behaving badly as I figured they'd ruin my chances of finding a decent lady. After a long search I found the perfect woman at last and spent a good 15 years as a contently domesticated husband. Unfortunately when she hit midlife she went into full crisis mode and decided to re-invent herself, and that included some wenching on the side. We're now going our separate ways, and I'm at a point of deciding whether I want to resume chasing women at my age or just live the rest of my life on my own terms and find my own happiness. It definitely won't involve any smoking or boozing though. More likely a lot of traveling, sightseeing, fast cars and cool guns. Life is way too short... find what you enjoy doing and do it, as long as it's legal and doesn't result in any lasting physical or emotional trauma! . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.