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Posted

Tighter than bark to a tree 

Posted

Tighter than skin on a weenie!

Posted

Darning socks

Dang me

Posted

catywampus

rat killin

long in the tooth

good lord willin and the creek dont rise

all hat and no cattle

dilly dally

persnickety

willy nilly

  • Like 1
Posted

"Wouldn't touch her with yours"

"Wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole"

Posted
23 hours ago, Warden Callaway said:

Bubble off plumb

 

I always heard it as... half a bubble off plumb.

 

Ground squirrels in the grain elevator.

A few bricks short of a full load.

A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.

Nothin' but cobwebs in the corn crib.

Posted

I've heard.. half a bubble of center

 

Traveling with a light seabag 

Posted

When dad and I were building something - a deck, perhaps - and something was off "just a skosh" he would say, "The only people that will ever know are you and me and I'm not telling anybody."

 

When taking measurements for a cut the finest measurement dad would make was in 8ths... but not really.  He would tell you, "56 inches and a heavy 5/8ths" or, "56 inches and a light 5/8ths 

  • Like 1
Posted
18 minutes ago, Stump Water said:

He would tell you, "56 inches and a heavy 5/8ths" or, "56 inches and a light 5/8ths 

Mine would tell me whether or not to leave the line.

  • Like 3
Posted

And then there was something about the coloration of hairs.:ph34r:

  • Haha 1
Posted
50 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

And then there was something about the coloration of hairs.

 

That too.  After I'd gro'd up.

  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)

Root hog or die!

 

“If you put his brain in a matchbox, it’d rattle like a BB in a boxcar!”

 

”If you rolled his brain down the edge of a razor blade, it’d look like a BB rolling down an eight lane highway!”

 

”If her brain was gasoline, it wouldn’t run a pissant’s motorcycle around a grain of rice!”

 

Talkin’ ta’ hear your head rattle.

 

”Her porch light’s on, but ain’t nobody home!”

 

No fleas on this hound!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Blackwater 53393
  • Haha 2
Posted
1 hour ago, Warden Callaway said:

Don't let the screen door hit you in the a$$ on your way out. (Ellen DeGeneres)

On Hannah Montana I heard her tell somebody one time, "Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you".

 

Funny, but the way I always heard it was don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Posted
15 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

And then there was something about the coloration of hairs.:ph34r:

cuffs and collar don't match.

curb feelers.

dryer than a popcorn fart

barking up the wrong tree.

Brownie points

down the tubes

close but no cigar

heebie jeebies

flavor of the month

pie in the sky

real McCoy

Posted

The room was so small, you had to go outside to change your mind. 

Five will get you 10. Also: 15 will get you 20. When talking about girls. 

It tasted so bad I had to lick a coon dowg's butt to get the taste out. 

  • Haha 1
Posted

He's so skinny, he has to run around in the shower to get wet.

Posted
19 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

He's so skinny, he has to run around in the shower to get wet.

 

If he drank a bottle of cherry soda he'd look like a thermometer.

  • Haha 1

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