Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 5 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 Why does a woman in leather seem so erotic? She smells like a new truck. 1 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 2 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 Wife sends a text to her husband. "Honey, don't forget to buy BREAD when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you." Husband: Who is Valerie? Wife: Nobody , I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text. Husband: But I'm with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me? Wife: What??! Where are you? Husband: Near the bakery. Wife: Wait, I'm coming right now! After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message: Wife: I'm at the bakery, where are you? Husband: I'm at work. Now that you're at the bakery, buy the bread! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 "You look just like me getting out of there!" https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5iRCQyoJes/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 I was thinking the same thing. Reaching down with that hind leg, trying to find the damn step, because depth perception has gone away with old age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted May 7 Author Share Posted May 7 (edited) Oops Edited May 7 by Subdeacon Joe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 (edited) N.H. State motto, LIVE FREE OR DIE. is iconic, appearing on all license plates except ambulances and hearses. Edited May 8 by Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 56 minutes ago, Alpo said: What them yankees don’t understand is that the skeeters down here have “N” numbers and landing lights and they run on JP4!! Those bug sprays ain’t nothin’ but startin’ fluid for southern skeeters!! 2 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 1 hour ago, Blackwater 53393 said: What them yankees don’t understand is that the skeeters down here have “N” numbers and landing lights and they run on JP4!! Those bug sprays ain’t nothin’ but startin’ fluid for southern skeeters!! You ought to see what they have over in Okinawa. The skeeters over there line up at the top of your blanket and pull it off of you to get at you. If you stomp on the cockroaches over there, they just look up at you like "WHAT!?!?" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 First liar ain’t got a chance! These southern skeeters just stab through the blanket, have a big ol’ drink, and use the blanket fer a napkin!! We use cockroaches for alligator control!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 2 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 The New York Museum of Modern art once opened an exhibition of the works of Henri Matisse. During 47 days, neither the staff workers nor the visitors noticed that one of the paintings was hung upside down. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 Okay, here's a great smile for today! Guy who was hired to paint over Hamas graffiti just painted right over the protesters who stood in his way. https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/05/08/watch-a-painter-teaches-pro-hamas-students-a-hilariuos-and-valuable-lesson-cleaning-up-their-vandalism-n2173905 3 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 I wonder why it is that they all happen to have a protective face mask? Like they were expecting to get sprayed in the face. 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 A man established a zoo and made the entrance fee $300 but no one went there. He reduced it to $200 but still no one came. He then reduced the fee to 10$ but still people didn't come. Finally, he made it FREE entrance and soon, the zoo was filled with people. Then he quietly locked the gate of the zoo, set the lions free and made the exit fee $500 and everyone paid. 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 Russian election result: Putin overwhelmingly re-elected to a fifth term 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckshot Bob Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 17 hours ago, Alpo said: The worst mosquitoes I’ve run into were in Canada, along with black flies . Only reason I can figure they are so vicious is because they have less time to do business than in warmer climates 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconKC Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 9 Share Posted May 9 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 A 6-year-old little girl comes to a pet shop and asks in a childish voice: - Good mowning sir, do you sell wittle wabbits? - Why, of course, my princess! What color would like the rabbit? Black or white? - Actuwally, my python doesn’t give a f..k what color his dinner is. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 1 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 A magician worked on a cruise ship and the audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, “Look, it’s not the same hat!” or, “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything. It was, after all, the captain’s parrot. Then one stormy night in the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it … with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day… and then 2 days and then 3 days… Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer: “OK, I give up. Where’s the ******** ship?” 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.