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The Aussie Humour Thread


Buckshot Bear

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13 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

This had to be the worst instant coffee ever!

 

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Is there actually a GOOD instant coffee?:lol:

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12 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

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Thanks once again mate, those paintings are just extraordinary.

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45 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Is there actually a GOOD instant coffee?:lol:

Nescafe Clasico ain't bad. And Tasters Choice is quite good.

 

There is a Harry Turtledove book called Guns for the South. Bigoted whites from South Africa, with a time machine, were supplying the Army of Northern Virginia with AK-47s. Their theory was if the South won, then slaves would stay in their place, and apartheid would continue in South Africa. The whites would stay in charge.

 

So when the guy first shows up to demonstrate the rifle to General Lee, he's invited to supper. And he says that he is aware of how short their rations are, but he had brought his own food. And rehydrates a package of Mountain House.

 

After eating, he starts heating some more water and Lee asks if he can still be hungry after all that food. He said no - he was going to make some coffee. And would the general care for some. Lee said only if the man was making enough for all of his staff.

 

He gives each of them a little red package, then tears one open and dumps it in the hot water in his cup and stirs it up. The general tried it and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was coffee. It was not the best coffee he'd ever had, but it was much better than the parched dandelion roots that he had been drinking for the last 3 months.

 

One of the lieutenants on his staff looked at his package before opening it. FOLGERS COFFEE CRYSTALS. And in little fine print, made in USA.

 

And he thinks, "That figures."

 

 

If you've never read Turtledove, he writes "alternative history". And I greatly recommend Guns for the South.

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On 6/3/2023 at 2:53 AM, Buckshot Bear said:

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I just know it as figuring something out. It could be as non-suspicious as why the left turn signal does not work on the pickup truck (figure out which fuse is blown).

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Always been my problem. Ever NEVER (amazing how otto removing one simple letter changes the entire jist of the sentence)had a blown fuse cause the blinker to not blink. But if either the front light or the back light was out, the other light would come on but not blink.

 

The flasher went out on one car - the piece of equipment that actually makes the lights blink. But, since I've been driving for 50 years and it's only happened once, I don't think that's a very common occurrence.

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