Rip Snorter Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 A truly superior groaner! Well done! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 4 Author Share Posted April 4 California Highway Numbers Explained 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brazos John Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 (edited) 5 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious. And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides. No, this proves that the squire of the high pot and noose IS GREATER THAN the sum of the squires of the other two sides. Sorry, that's just the way math nerds... Edited April 4 by Brazos John 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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John Kloehr Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 (edited) Boo hiss Re squires Edited April 4 by John Kloehr 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 10 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said: One for the math fans … There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knght with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon while the squire, using a noosed rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor. The next day the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought. The battle raged well into the late hours but, when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious. And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 (edited) Edited April 5 by Sedalia Dave 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 George Bernard Shaw was a thin man, and Winston Churchill once took a jab at his slim frame: Churchill: "Looking at you, Mr. Shaw, one would think there was a famine in England." Shaw: "And looking at you, Mr. Churchill, one would think you are the cause of it." 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Alpo Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 Clifford and Daisy May were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. Clifford would shout, "When I die, I'll dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life ol' woman!!" Neighbors feared him. Old Clifford liked the fact that he was feared. He died at the ripe old age of 98. After the burial, Daisy May's neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" She replied, "LET HIM DIG. I HAD HIM BURIED UPSIDE DOWN... AND I KNOW HE WON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS“ 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Alpo Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted April 6 Author Share Posted April 6 2 hours ago, Alpo said: Nope.....the last religious: 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 Two brothers wake up one morning and decided they were mature and needed to show it. So they decided to cuss in front of their parents. The older brother told the younger to use the word “damn” and he’d use “hell”. They go downstairs for breakfast and mom asks the younger what he would like. “I guess I’ll have some damn Toasties,” he says. Mom whales into him and then grounds him for a week. She then turns to the older son and says “Now what do you want smarty?” The older brother looks at the younger, still smarting and decrying his week-long punishment. He looks at his mom then looks back again at his brother and says: “Well I sure as hell don’t want any Toasties!” 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 Mama is in the bathroom while little Bobby is brushing his teeth. And Bobby drops his toothbrush in the toilet. He fishes it out and shakes the water off and is about to put it back on the rack, and Mama tells him, "No, that's dirty now. Throw that away and we'll get you a new one." And little Bobby says, "You need to get a new one for yourself too. I dropped yours in the toilet 3 days ago." 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 Thibodeaux Junior is on phone from University of Louisiana-Lafayette to New Iberia . . . Thib Jr: "Hey Dad, what would you say if I got a 100 on my math test me?" Thibodeaux Sr: "I'd be in such a shock, I'd probably have me a heart attack." Thib Jr: "Me, I'm always looking out for your health, Dad. Dat's why I settled for a 60." 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 6 Share Posted April 6 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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