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If Godzilla was so tough that even bullets and tank shells couldn't penetrate his tough hide,

then why did he always get mad when they shot at him?

 

..........Widder

 

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2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

It’s like when the kid in in the back row shoots spitballs at you.

Widder was the kid in the back row... :lol:

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Widder, it’s like Superman ducking a Colt Detective being thrown at him. A little thing can be a big annoyance to those with super powers or can destroy miniature cities with the sweep of one’s tail. ;)

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3 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Widder was the kid in the back row... :lol:

 

I shot a few from the front row also..... :lol:

 

..........Widder

 

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7 hours ago, Pat Riot, SASS #13748 said:

Widder, it’s like Superman ducking a Colt Detective being thrown at him. A little thing can be a big annoyance to those with super powers or can destroy miniature cities with the sweep of one’s tail. ;)

 

always wanted to build a miniature city and go stomping into it

FB05975E-1C0C-48EC-A3CE-774B7500EF6A.jpeg

Edited by WOLFY
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41 minutes ago, WOLFY said:

 

always wanted to build a miniature city and go stomping into it

FB05975E-1C0C-48EC-A3CE-774B7500EF6A.jpeg

 

 

 

 ..... try using Lego, and stomping through it barefoot .......... you'll understand why they are always angry .......   :mellow:

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I don't know why Godzirra got mad but his cousins were falling out of trees last night in South Florida. Maybe he was mad about that.

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58 minutes ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

For 16 years and 8 summers.:P

 

I wish folks would stop spreading malicious rumors about me.

I was 15 years and 8 summers.   :o

The Teacher had me so long that she went from calling me Mike, then Michael, then Mr.Hill

:lol::lol:

 

 

..........Widder

 

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1 hour ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

For 16 years and 8 summers.:P

I can see it now....(Queue wavy lines)

 

"Miss Jones, Do I have to do this assignment"

"What assignment is that, Little Widdee?"

"This here assignment about 'What you did last summer'?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"But why, Miss Jones, you know full well what I did all summer. You was here."

"Little Widdee, everyone must do the assignment...pretend I wasn't here and that I am someone else, another teacher."

"Okay, Miss Jones."

Little Widdee goes to his seat in the front row where the teacher can keep a good eye on him.

Miss Jones thinks to herself "Every year it's the same thing with that boy...three years running now...".

Little Widdee comes across a brilliant idea. His face lights up like a bulb and his one tooth in the front that he chipped gnawing on that bowling ball his Daddy got him gleamed in the sunlight coming through the window.

He raises his hand.

"Yes, Little Widdee, what is it."

Excited, Widder jumps up and blurts out "Miss Jones, last year at the end of the year my teacher told me that since I was such a good and special student..." He blushed and looked embarrassed, which would have been cute if his eyes weren't so crossed, he continued "...she had a nickname for me and everything. She said I was 'Special'...'Special Ed' she called me. Not sure why 'Ed' as that's our old sows name, but anyway, she said I didn't have to do no dumb ol' thesis thingie on no summer vacation stuff."

Miss Jones smiled at him.

He smiled back his single chipped tooth glistening a lovely shade of vibrant yellow.

"Little Widdee, now you know that's a fib."

Widder looked dejected and looked down at his feet and thought to himself "Man, I gotta get me some shoes..."

"Take your seat Widdee and get to  work on your thesis."

"Yes Ma'am."

Widder sat down and began rolling his pencil around on his desk, Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

The noise of that pencil rolling around was getting on Miss Jones' nerves and Widder knew it.

Widder thought to himself "It won't be long now...she's crackin'!"

"LITTLE WIDDEE! STOP THAT!"

Miss Jones looked exasperated.

"But Miss Jones, I don't want to do this..."

"I don't care, young man, every year for three years we have had this conversation and every year you get sent to the Principal's Office for a spanking and it doesn't seem to do any good."

"That's right Ma'am, because Principal Smith hits like a girl. If he would put some shine to it maybe I'd learn me somethin' for a change."

Just then Widder got an idea. It actually hurt his brain but the pain was worth it.

"Miss Jones, I have an idea. How about instead of me doin' this dumb ol' thesis I go down to the basement and help Mr. Janitor make Principal Smith a proper paddle so's maybe when I get my whacks I really do learn my lesson?"

"Oh...All right, go on, get out of here..."

Widder took off like a shot. Miss Jones could have swore she saw smoke but the smell of burning foot flesh was not imagined...

Miss Jones walked over to the intercom and pushed the button.

"Mister Smith?"

"Yes Miss Jones?"

"Mister Smith, Little Widdee is making you another paddle this year."

"Oh good heavens. That boy...Let me guess, it's about his summer thesis, right?"

"Yes, it is. He doesn't want to do it again."

"I swear, I have no idea why the boy won't just do his assignments. At this rate he will be in 5th grade forever."

"Mister Smith, maybe this year you could just accept the paddle as a gift but not hit him with it. Maybe that'll be good enough."

"Miss Jones, he will not leave the office until I use the paddle on him to prove it works...it's actually kind of heart breaking..."

All of a sudden Miss Jones got an idea.

"Mister Smith, how about when Little Widdee comes to the office you accept the paddle but tell him that he deserves an 'A' for the day his efforts."

Mr. Smith thought about it and responded,

"That's an excellent idea. No one in the history of the Widders has ever gotten any grade higher than a 'C'. Maybe this will help him to carry on and exert himself a bit more...and please, stop calling him 'Little Widdee'! He's old enough to votes for goodness sakes!"

 

 

 

:P

 

 

 

Edited by Pat Riot, SASS #13748
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On 2/5/2021 at 10:31 AM, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

I wish folks would stop spreading malicious rumors about me.

I was 15 years and 8 summers.   :o

The Teacher had me so long that she went from calling me Mike, then Michael, then Mr.Hill

:lol::lol:

 

 

..........Widder

 

Did you ever decide between becoming a brain surgeon or a double naught spy after graduation? :P

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On 2/5/2021 at 8:31 AM, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

I wish folks would stop spreading malicious rumors about me.

I was 15 years and 8 summers.   :o

The Teacher had me so long that she went from calling me Mike, then Michael, then Mr.Hill

:lol::lol:

 

 

..........Widder

 

Ya didn't try to get her to marry You did you ???  Like the Texan with his 3 grade teacher ,,, Him being 12 years older ...

 

Jabez Cowboy

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That's funny.   I liked the part about my nickname.... 'special Ed'.  :lol:  

 

Speaking of Special Ed, remind me to tell you about the time I filled my mom's mop bucket with water and

dropped a live M-80 down in it.  

 

..........Widder

 

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23 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

That's funny.   I liked the part about my nickname.... 'special Ed'.  :lol:  

 

Speaking of Special Ed, remind me to tell you about the time I filled my mom's mop bucket with water and

dropped a live M-80 down in it.  

 

..........Widder

 

 

image.jpeg.671bad27f0e987dddc0d135e048f667f.jpeg

 

I’M WAITING

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2 hours ago, Tequila Shooter said:

 

image.jpeg.671bad27f0e987dddc0d135e048f667f.jpeg

 

I’M WAITING

 

Well, if my memory serves me well, it goes like this:

 

Uncle Hodge, my Moms brother, lived in Speedwell, TN.  on the upper end of Norris Lake.  

Hunter, lover of women, and Moonshiner.   He was also a notorious fisherman.

 

When I was a younger lass, he told me he fished with M-80's.  Yep, throw a couple in the lake and scoop up the

fish when they float to the top.   Well, ole Widder wasn't so wise back then and didn't believe that an M-80 would

explode under water.    Hodge says..... 'Oh yea.  They'll go off anywhere'.

 

Well, to some of you who don't know,  back in the 60's in the South, you could buy a box of M-80's (about 80 to a box) for

about $12 bucks.   Now, these were not the 'm-80 brand'  but rather the REAL M-80..... a real boomer, mail box destroyer.

The kind that would blow off your hand if you didn't let go in time.   And it wasn't unusual for us kids to

have access to a few.

 

Mom had just bought a new mop bucket.  Not the tupperware kind but a real galvanized steel kind.  It held about 2 gallons

of water.  I was gonna prove Uncle Hodge was pulling my leg.    Soooooooo, I took the NEW mop bucket outside, filled

it with water and dropped a lit M-80 in it.     I don't think a chain saw could have done more damage to a clay pot than what

that M-80 did to that bucket.   Ripped out the whole bottom and turned the rest inside out.   

 

GUESS WHO was looking out the back door when it exploded?

I had just earned about $3 mowing a neighbors yard and mom made me go buy her a new mop bucket, WITH MY MONEY.

 

That's my M-80 story.

 

..........Widder

 

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Well that’s a lot better than my story.  When I was a young’n in NY fireworks were illegal but there was always someone in the neighborhood that would make a trip down south before the 4th of July and make a fireworks run.  It was like something you’d see in a movie, guy drives up, opens his trunk and there was a kid’s dream, firecrackers, Roman candles, screechers, helicopters, on and on, it was better than when the ice cream truck came by.  

 

One time a kid around the corner decided to see what a pack of firecrackers would do to a pile of dog poop, not some little pile of poop, oh no, a big Great Dane who’d been constipated for days type of pile, it was all fun and games until they went off.  It was like when the deification hits the oscillating cooling unit, poop everywhere.  That was one lesson I never forgot. 

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