Subdeacon Joe 23,318 Posted September 13 Are You A Problem Thinker? It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...they didn't open. The library was closed! To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Dumb and Dumber." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Author Unknown 2 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 2,693 Posted September 13 I Think; Therefore I am! I think? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
South-Eye Ned 640 Posted September 13 How could the author be unknown?! We know his name is Skippy from his boss’ reference! Then again, I could be overthinking this. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 2,693 Posted September 13 2 minutes ago, South-Eye Ned said: How could the author be unknown?! We know his name is Skippy from his boss’ reference! Then again, I could be overthinking this. That is what happens when you think a thunk! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 5,296 Posted September 13 This is getting too complicated for me. I think I'll have drink. ........... ........... ............ ................................................... Yep. That helped. Thanks Bacardi. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Utah Bob #35998 14,621 Posted September 13 Potrzebie! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Subdeacon Joe 23,318 Posted September 13 25 minutes ago, Utah Bob #35998 said: Potrzebie! Yer overthinkin' it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpo 5,849 Posted September 13 I think, therefore I am armed. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pat Riot, SASS #13748 18,996 Posted September 13 I thought I was thinking, but then realized I was just imagining things... 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L 1,776 Posted September 14 You ever stop to think --- and forget to start again? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 1,943 Posted September 14 4 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said: You ever stop to think --- and forget to start again? .................. I think I did that ............. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 6,551 Posted September 14 I thought a thinker with thomething you uthed when you went fithin’ . 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 1,874 Posted September 14 I admit that I am powerless over thought, and my life has become unmanageable. Imis 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeaconKC 821 Posted September 14 The Missus calls me a big thinker....at least I think that's what she said... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Trailrider #896 1,585 Posted September 14 On 9/13/2020 at 10:00 AM, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: I Think; Therefore I am! I think? I am, therefore I THINK! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
