Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 True Story: I now have a Son-in-Law. He likes to shoot and hunt. His groomsmen actually bought him a Ruger 5.56 American rifle as a wedding gift. ANYHOW, when he returns from the honeymoon, I plan to take him back out on the farm to harvest some mud turtles out of the neighbors pond. The farmer hates those turtles and loves for us to test them for pain intolerance. Anyhow, I plan to tell him to grab that new rifle and we will go up on the hillside and see if we can smack a few mudturtles around. Distance is about 100+ yards, depending upon which shade tree ya want to sit under. MY PLAN: I'm gonna find a fake turtle shell and put it on the far bank of the pond. Under the shell will be a goodly amount of Tannerite. Enough to decimate the turtle shell. He won't know its a fake turtle shell nor about the tannerite. I'll be saying.......'WOW... what kinda bullets are you shooting in that rifle'? TN Williams might be the biggest liar......... but I'm a better jokester...... ..........Widder
Crazy Gun Barney, SASS #2428 Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 Be sure to film that if you can! I've been on the other side of that joke. I grew up in Southern California. When I was about 12 we visited my Aunt and Uncle's place in very rural Missouri. One of my older cousins thought he would have fun with his "city cousin". He told me to grab my pellet gun and he and I would go shootin down by the pond. We got down there, and he says "hey check it out, a tree frog" and takes a shot into a tree by the pond. Down comes the biggest bull frog I ever saw (that he had put up there just for the purpose). He looks at it and says "oh, looks like a small one, the tree frogs get kinda big around here". He kept a pretty straight face until I dragged my dad down to see the dead tree frog, then Duane lost it and couldn't stop laughing the whole way back to the house....
Blackwater 53393 Posted July 8, 2020 Posted July 8, 2020 Widder!! I can’t decide if you and TW would be the new Laurel and Hardy or the next Martin and Lewis!!
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said: Widder!! I can’t decide if you and TW would be the new Laurel and Hardy or the next Martin and Lewis!! Thanks. Who is TW? How bout..... Andy and Barney? OR, I could be one of the Sesame Street characters and TW could be the 'Nanner Monster'. ..........Widder
Blackwater 53393 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: Are you CRAZY?? Them two, (Widder ‘n’ Tennessee Williams) is so ugly that little kids have nightmares after seein’ the two of ‘em together!! Oh!! You mean the turtle shell full of Tannerite!!
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 I hope to get it on film. I'm gonna have to recruit a couple fellers who can keep it quiet and not arouse any suspicions. ..........Widder
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 57 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said: Are you CRAZY?? Them two, (Widder ‘n’ Tennessee Williams) is so ugly that little kids have nightmares after seein’ the two of ‘em together!! Oh!! You mean the turtle shell full of Tannerite!! Well yeah, the tannerite surprise, but short exposure to Widder and Tennessee might be useful as well. The kids may have nightmares for a while, but it has to be done, if we want to toughen them young'ns up. I know I wasn't ready for initial exposure to them at my age, so we should sort of vaccinate them while they're young. What do ya think?
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 Howdy Kid. TN's middle name is 'Covid'. As such, there ain't no vaccination available against him. Blackwater knows him best....... their kin..... Of course, to hear TN tell stories, you'd think he's kin to everybody in Nashville, especially some of those country singing stars. ..........Widder
Tex Wilson Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: Of course, to hear TN tell stories, you'd think he's kin to everybody in Nashville, especially some of those country singing stars. You mean like Tennessee Ernie Ford?
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Arizona Gunfighter said: You mean like Tennessee Ernie Ford? Yea, he's just one of them. Others include Hank Williams and Hank jr. And of course, here TN tell, he's partly responsible for the success of his cousin Don Williams. Where do you think the idea for the song "Good Ole Boys Like Me" came from? AND..... a 1st cousin, twice removed is Little Jimmy Dickens. ..........Widder
Utah Bob #35998 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 But just how big is his lair? And are there any turtles in in?
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 9, 2020 Author Posted July 9, 2020 He's been known to be a liar about his lair. And..... as for turtles, he says he's known a few 'snappers' in his life. ..........Widder
Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 Add one thing. As the shell explodes, blow an air horn behind him. You do know CPR, no?
Perro Del Diablo Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 14 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said: Are you CRAZY?? Them two, (Widder ‘n’ Tennessee Williams) is so ugly that little kids have nightmares after seein’ the two of ‘em together!! Oh!! You mean the turtle shell full of Tannerite!! I hear tale a freight train turned around and rain away.
Blackwater 53393 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 48 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said: I hear tale a freight train turned around and rain away. Nah! Didn’t turn around, but it DID take a dirt road!!
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted July 9, 2020 Posted July 9, 2020 On 7/8/2020 at 2:29 PM, Blackwater 53393 said: Widder!! I can’t decide if you and TW would be the new Laurel and Hardy or the next Martin and Lewis!! I'm voting for Laurel and Hardy.
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted July 10, 2020 Posted July 10, 2020 Larry and Curly...aint no Mo Imis
MizPete Posted July 10, 2020 Posted July 10, 2020 Widder, you need to keep in mind that this young man will be the father of your grandchildren. Just sayin'
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted July 10, 2020 Author Posted July 10, 2020 7 hours ago, MizPete said: Widder, you need to keep in mind that this young man will be the father of your grandchildren. Just sayin' I know. BUT, I want him to also realize that if he ever harms my little girl, HE becomes the turtle! ..........Widder
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