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Tennessee williams

Y'all know why...

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Y'all know why Widder can't fart loud? Cause he won't be quiet long enough to build up a good pressure!

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10 hours ago, Tennessee williams said:

Y'all know why Widder can't fart loud? Cause he won't be quiet long enough to build up a good pressure!

 

I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping.   Anyone who uses one knows that it can

build up a little air in your system.

 

Ya oughta hear me in the mornings.   Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet.

:lol:

 

..........Widder

 

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Widder I too use a CPAP. The object is to BREATH the air, not swallow it. No wonder you play a tuba symphony

 

Imis    and TW has hiccups from too many nanner splits

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Hey Imis.

Truth be known, all this stuff that TN puts on the Wire is basically hisowndang life experiences.

 

Have you ever noticed that when you hear him passing gas........... his lips start flapping.

 

He actually wrote a hit song for the 'Bangles' back a few years ago.

It was titled..... "Just Another Nanner Monday",  but they changed it to "Just Another Manic Monday" to help sales.

 

True Story.   Hey, I don't make this stuff up.

 

..........Widder

 

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Perro Del Diablo said:

Sounds like you are saying Widder is full of hot air

 

Theres a good reason I have been invited to all the hot air ballon events..... :lol:

 

But, unlike TN Williams, I don't have to carry a 20 pound magnet in my back pocket to help keep me from floating away.

 

TN WILLIAMS..... Poster Boy for the Helium experience!  :lol:

 

..........Widder

 

 

Edited by Widder, SASS #59054
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23 hours ago, Injun Ryder, SASS #36201L said:

Showing his feminine side?:D

There's a image I didn't need.

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1 hour ago, Forty Rod SASS 3935 said:

There's a image I didn't need.

That's an image nobody needs!

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That reminds me of the time Widder bout got in to a fight at a big high fallutin' party. In his defense, he didn't want to go to start with but his wife made him anyway. She won't make that mistake again. Anyhow, Widder was walking across the room to the buffet to see what they had. He passed by a table with a bunch of suits sitting around it eating. He let out one of those big gurgling jobs. Immediately a feller all decked out jumps up from the table and says, "how dare you flatulate in front of my wife!" Well ole Widder never missed a beat and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was her turn." 

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bwaaaaaahhhaaaaahahahahhaaaaa!

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16 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping.   Anyone who uses one knows that it can

build up a little air in your system.

 

Ya oughta hear me in the mornings.   Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet.

:lol:

 

..........Widder

 

 

Yeah, but when your dog rips one in the middle of the night, right next to the air intake of your CPAP machine, let me tell ya, it will wake you up in an instant and make your eyes water!

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1 hour ago, Tennessee williams said:

That reminds me of the time Widder bout got in to a fight at a big high fallutin' party. In his defense, he didn't want to go to start with but his wife made him anyway. She won't make that mistake again. Anyhow, Widder was walking across the room to the buffet to see what they had. He passed by a table with a bunch of suits sitting around it eating. He let out one of those big gurgling jobs. Immediately a feller all decked out jumps up from the table and says, "how dare you flatulate in front of my wife!" Well ole Widder never missed a beat and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was her turn." 

 

What I actually said was...... "Well Excuuuuuuuuse me.   I didn't realize it was her turn".

:P

 

Ole Bazooka Butt still can't tell that story right.

 

..........Widder

 

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Posted (edited)

deleted

Edited by Chickamauga Slim
retracted
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Posted (edited)

deleted

 

 

..........Widder

 

 

Edited by Widder, SASS #59054

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Dang, I requested to be on a posse with those two at the state match. Guess I better take a mask and a bottle of poo-pourri. 

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Posted (edited)

deleted

 

Edited by Chickamauga Slim
retracted

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3 hours ago, Mister Badly said:

Dang, I requested to be on a posse with those two at the state match. Guess I better take a mask and a bottle of poo-pourri. 

 

Mr. Big & Badly,

A cold bottle of Diet Pepsi will suffice for me, along with a good hot dog with mustard and chili.

 

TN Williams will take a Dr.Pepper with a hotdog with a dob of Mayonnaise on it.

 

..........Widder

 

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Just to be clear, the timer operator has never said "pooter ready" to me on the line. I can neither confirm nor deny it has happened to others on this post.

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58 minutes ago, Mister Badly said:

Just to be clear, the timer operator has never said "pooter ready" to me on the line. I can neither confirm nor deny it has happened to others on this post.

 

With my hearing (or the lack thereof),  I have no idea what the TO says to me.  

 

After I say my line, I just hope I hear 'something' that sounds like "Standby" and then the "BEEP".

Thats why I normally ask for a 'test beep' at my left ear at the start of each day.

 

For the record, TN Williams makes all this stuff up.   He makes it up about his new truck, his local farm and the ranch in

Wyoming.    Says he's got lots of money and owns a 'cat' house in Nevada...... while I know for a fact that he's

allergic to cats.   But he does have some pet goats and dogs.

And of course, he kilt a big snake one time..... :o

 

..........Widder

 

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54 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

With my hearing (or the lack thereof),  I have no idea what the TO says to me.  

 

After I say my line, I just hope I hear 'something' that sounds like "Standby" and then the "BEEP".

Thats why I normally ask for a 'test beep' at my left ear at the start of each day.

 

For the record, TN Williams makes all this stuff up.   He makes it up about his new truck, his local farm and the ranch in

Wyoming.    Says he's got lots of money and owns a 'cat' house in Nevada...... while I know for a fact that he's

allergic to cats.   But he does have some pet goats and dogs.

And of course, he kilt a big snake one time..... :o

 

..........Widder

 

How big was that snake

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I'm not sure but it stretched from here to there so it musta been big.

kR

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Posted (edited)

The 1st TN told the story, the snake was about 48" long.

Then later, it was 55" long.

 

Last I heard, it was 70+" long.   Come October, it will probably be about 80"

when he talks about it at the TN State.   Ya'll need to come listen and hear what tall tale he

might muster up by then.

 

Hey, did you hear about the one where he cut a 1/4" rope with 1 shot from a derringer at about 50'.

Well............ here's the rest of the story:

TN glued some long pieces of 1/4" ROTTEN rope to a 2x4.   And ALL the pieces were hung next to one another

touching.   All he had to do was shoot amongst those hanging pieces of rope and there was NO WAY any of those

pieces wouldn't get hit.    He don't tell that part of the story.   He only tells about hitting that 1 pieces of rope at

50' with a derringer..... :lol:

It ain't exactly a lie, but it does fall a few feet short of the whole truth.

 

Hey, I don't make this stuff up.

 

P.S. - don't be surprised if one of the stories for the State stages is about TN and his glory days of wrestling

alligators and catching giant rattlesnakes.

Truth be known, all he ever did was win a contest catching 'lighting bugs' in a jar one summer night.

And the first Nanner Split he ever eat was free because he caught a 'june bug' once, tied a small string

to its leg and it flew longer than the other june bugs.

 

..........Widder

 

Edited by Widder, SASS #59054

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On 7/7/2020 at 10:35 PM, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

I use a Cpap machine to help me breath while sleeping.   Anyone who uses one knows that it can

build up a little air in your system.

 

Ya oughta hear me in the mornings.   Sounds like I'm playing 'Marching thru Georgia' on a trumpet.

:lol:

 

..........Widder

 

 

I use a CPAP too.  I'm thinking you might be hooking it up wrong.  

 

 

9 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

The 1st TN told the story, the snake was about 48" long.

Then later, it was 55" long.

 

Last I heard, it was 70+" long.   Come October, it will probably be about 80"

when he talks about it at the TN State.   Ya'll need to come listen and hear what tall tale he

might muster up by then.

 

Reminds me of true story.  I was fishing with my dad on a dock one evening and a bunch of crappie started schooling around the dock.  We caught a pretty good sized white crappie.  I can't remember how big it was anymore, but I'm thinking about 12 inches.  A couple of people came down to see it and before long we started getting people saying "I heard you caught a 13" crappie".  We kept showing them the fish and let them know the real measurement.  Once the fishing died down my dad said "watch this" and cleaned and filleted everything we had caught so far.  People kept coming down and saying "We heard you caught a 13" crappie" and we showed them the fillets and told them the real measurement.  Then more people would come down wanting to see the 14" crappie, and the 15" crappie.  We kept telling them the truth but the sucker kept growing anyway.  We had friends who lived on the other side of the cove and we learned from them the next week that someone on our side of the cove had caught an 18" crappie that very same night!

 

That was the lesson for the day; Once a critter get to a certain size, he'll grow a lot faster after his death than he ever could have alive.  The quicker you carve him up the faster he grows.  

 

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6 hours ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said:

 

with a dob of Mayonnaise on it.

 

..........Widder

 

That's just nasty!

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10 hours ago, Mister Badly said:

My wife bought me this for some reason.

IMG_20200709_082750.jpg

Thats rough drinking!

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It is a "tasting." Swish the poo-pouri around in your mouth and then spit it out. Think mouthwash, not beer guzzleing.

Uncultured bumkins

 

Imis I have noticed the first liar has no chance

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16 minutes ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said:

Reading this thread, and all I can think of is I don't know where I left my hip boots,

and the first poster don't have a chance. 

I started wearing my boots when i first read this post. Then got a step stool had to step up to a chair until now I'm on an 8 ft step ladder and the tide is still rising.

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18 hours ago, Mister Badly said:

It's a spray. Like Binaca. :D

I have two bottles on my crapper too. One is cherry, the other is nanner split scent.

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3 hours ago, Perro Del Diablo said:

I started wearing my boots when i first read this post. Then got a step stool had to step up to a chair until now I'm on an 8 ft step ladder and the tide is still rising.

Greenhorn. Always start out in a boat when dealing with Widder. 

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7 minutes ago, Tennessee williams said:

Greenhorn. Always start out in a boat when dealing with Widder. 

Paddle wheel or tug?

 

Kajun

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20 minutes ago, Krazy Kajun said:

Paddle wheel or tug?

 

Kajun

Sounds like frieghter

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