Tennessee williams Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I talked to Widder today and he was in an unnaturally good mood. I figured he was coming off a high from jumping out of the bushes to scare ladies as they walked around his neighborhood but he said he aint done that in a few days. Turns out that he's had free labor around his house for about a week and hasn't had to lift a finger to do any of what he calls work! He told me this English feller was riding his bicycle by the Widder compound when he had a wreck and knocked over his mailbox. He asked Widder what the cost to repair it would be. When the poor guy heard it'd be a couple hundred bucks he got all shaky and said he only had 25. Widder took that and told the guy, I think his name is Malcolm, that he'd have to work the rest of it off. Said that's the way it is in America. Widder has had him working ever since. I asked him if he felt bad because he told me 2 weeks ago that mailbox was already broke. He said no because Malcolm wasn't really good at fixing stuff around the house, but could cook and butler real good. Widders probably looking for something else he can say Malcolm broke to keep him around a bit longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 If you'll send Malcolm a message to pretend like he's drunk, Widder will have to let him go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I hope old Malcolm don't start takin naps. I heered Widders got him one o them fancy earsoft guns what can shoot full auto. Malcom is liable to get a well placed short burst upside his noggin. Widder don't like getting beat at nothin, especially naps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kulshan 20262 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Has TW been spending time in Mayberry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 NO..... If Tennessee Williams has been in Mayberry, its been the Mayberry Jail. Here's the story, the whole true story: TN was busted a couple days ago by the TBI and FBI for peddling 'C19 testing kits'. Ya see, TN has an 'Anatomical Bacteria' with propels itself from the body at high velocity in the form of Methane Gas. Well, he was putting this particular 'propellant' in sealed vials and selling them as C19 test kits. He told folks that when they open the vial, any sense of 'odor' would mean they tested negative to the C19 virus. If they opened the vial and didn't detect any odor.....they were instructed to get to the hospital fast. Odor meant negative No odor meant positive. He got busted. They charged him with air pollution. BUT....they had to drop all charges because they couldn't find anyone brave enough to actually 'test' any of the unopened vials. BUT.....then they arrested him again and charged him with mishandling of explosive devices. When the FBI and TBI decided to incinerate the confiscated vials, they EXPLODED and blew up the Incinerator. TN is now spending his Stimulus money on a new Incinerator..... Couldn't happen to a nicer guy..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I wouldn't stand in back of EITHER of these culprits!! Both of them were used as prototypes for International Harvester's manure spreaders!! Even IH wouldn't stand behind those!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 14 minutes ago, Blackwater 53393 said: I wouldn't stand in back of EITHER of these culprits!! Both of them were used as prototypes for International Harvester's manure spreaders!! Even IH wouldn't stand behind those!!! TN Williams..... Poster Boy for "Flatula Septic Tank" company. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I think we can add Blackwater to the list of Spreaders .... Of dis-information and Fun ... Jabez Cowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 10 minutes ago, Jabez Cowboy,SASS # 50129 said: I think we can add Blackwater to the list of Spreaders .... Of dis-information and Fun ... Jabez Cowboy Yeah, it's going to be quite a fun Tennessee State Liars Championship this year, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, Tyrel Cody said: Yeah, it's going to be quite a fun Tennessee State Liars Championship this year, No competition. At the rate of TN's advanced diagnoses of his Anatomical Bacteria problems, he'll deflate hisowndangself before October. Then again..... I understand he's working on an autobiography called....'The Winds of October'..... Being around TN gives a whole new meaning to the term..... 'Summer Breeze'. ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrel Cody Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: Being around TN gives a whole new meaning to the term..... 'Summer Breeze'. ..........Widder I like TN, but I don't want to be near any 'Summer Breeze' coming off him... Or Backwater either for that matter. I do like the song though, so thanks for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawyer Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 We need to remove all sanctions before the Saloon is declared a federally sanctioned Insane Asylum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Sawyer said: We need to remove all sanctions before the Saloon is declared a federally sanctioned Insane Asylum! Nobody here seems crazy or insane to me... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Painted Mohawk SASS 77785 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 A protective barrier to stop any 'summer breezes' is presently being set up to deflect any drift to us down-under..detection devices are also being implemented for those that may silently get away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Badly Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Just add cowboy hat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Sawyer said: We need to remove all sanctions before the Saloon is declared a federally sanctioned Insane Asylum! ^from the subject matter expert! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 4 hours ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said: Nobody here seems crazy or insane to me... . they say perception is the first thing to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Painted Mohawk SASS 77785 said: A protective barrier to stop any 'summer breezes' is presently being set up to deflect any drift to us down-under..detection devices are also being implemented for those that may silently get away. I popped off earlier today and my wife smelled it before I got finished. She's got a good sniffer though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 just like a fish story the first lie . AIN'T got no chance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Tennessee williams said: I popped off earlier today and my wife smelled it before I got finished. She's got a good sniffer though. Well..... she don't have C19. I hear tell the Murfreesboro General Hospital is gonna hire you to help test their new mask..... There's a possibility that SASS still has available the alias of Bazooka Butt..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 6 hours ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said: Nobody here seems crazy or insane to me... . That is just crazy, Birdgun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Just goes to prove God has a sense of humor, he put those two in the same state Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widder, SASS #59054 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 1 minute ago, Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 said: Just goes to prove God has a sense of humor, he put those two in the same state Imis He's kin to Blackwater..... ..........Widder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: That is just crazy, Birdgun. Badger, we're not crazy or insane. We're just a little bit forgetful because we are old. Wait! Maybe we're insane but not crazy. Or, maybe we're crazy but not insane Let me think about this for a moment. Okay, I've thought about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Widder, SASS #59054 said: He's kin to Blackwater..... ..........Widder You just HAD to bring that up!! He's kin ta' Schoolmarm!!! She warned me when we tied the knot that she had some "smelly characters" in her family!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tennessee williams Posted April 18, 2020 Author Share Posted April 18, 2020 16 hours ago, Blackwater 53393 said: You just HAD to bring that up!! He's kin ta' Schoolmarm!!! She warned me when we tied the knot that she had some "smelly characters" in her family!! We obviously got her nose immune to bad smells. Hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 16 hours ago, Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 said: Badger, we're not crazy or insane. We're just a little bit forgetful because we are old. Wait! Maybe we're insane but not crazy. Or, maybe we're crazy but not insane Let me think about this for a moment. Okay, I've thought about it. What were we talking about, Birdgun? Oh yes, now I remember. We do have nice weather today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 3 hours ago, Badger Mountain Charlie SASS #43172 said: What were we talking about, Birdgun? Oh yes, now I remember. We do have nice weather today. I see that a barrel of sweet crude oil is now below $20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted April 19, 2020 Share Posted April 19, 2020 That may be because T. Williams is supplying o much raw fuel!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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