You can't make this stuff up

[Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381]

A family dispute over whether pizza is right for breakfast escalated to assault, when a woman smacked her mom in the head with a handful of warm grits, according to investigators in Florida. Proof of the attack was still stuck to the victim’s face when deputies arrived at the home around 8 a.m. on Monday, Feb. 12, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office reported in an affidavit. Marion County is just northwest of Orlando.

[Subdeacon Joe]

22 minutes ago, Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 said:

A family dispute over whether pizza is right for breakfast escalated to assault, when a woman smacked her mom in the head with a handful of warm grits, according to investigators in Florida. Proof of the attack was still stuck to the victim’s face when deputies arrived at the home around 8 a.m. on Monday, Feb. 12, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office reported in an affidavit. Marion County is just northwest of Orlando.

 

Wasn't that a Carol Burnett and Vicky Lawrence skit?

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

MANY Saturday and Sunday mornings after a night of drunken revelry in my misspent youth were followed by a breakfast of cold pizza and warm beer. We called it The Breakfast of Champions. Start your day with a Snap, Crackle and Belch. 

[Alpo]

If they had grits, why did they care if anyone else was eating pizza?

[Texas Joker]

Probably the impetus of the argument

[bgavin]

11 hours ago, Okie Sawbones, SASS #77381 said:

A family dispute over whether pizza is right for breakfast escalated to assault, when a woman smacked her mom in the head with a handful of warm grits, according to investigators in Florida. Proof of the attack was still stuck to the victim’s face when deputies arrived at the home around 8 a.m. on Monday, Feb. 12, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office reported in an affidavit. Marion County is just northwest of Orlando.

I bet her daddy married his sister, and it didn't bother her one bit.

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

As more info comes out about the Chiefs parade:

 

When asked what led to the fight, one of those charged with shooting said, “He was staring at me.”

 

Nope, you can’t make this stuff up. 
 

[Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770]

6 hours ago, bgavin said:

I bet her daddy married his sister, and it didn't bother her one bit.

When they get divorced are they STILL brother and sister?

[Cypress Sun]

15 minutes ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

When they get divorced are they STILL brother and sister?

 

The big question is - Who gets custody of the trailer?

[Pat Riot]

18 hours ago, Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 said:

MANY Saturday and Sunday mornings after a night of drunken revelry in my misspent youth were followed by a breakfast of cold pizza and warm beer. We called it The Breakfast of Champions. Start your day with a Snap, Crackle and Belch. 

Me too. Years ago. 

 

[Eyesa Horg]

They each get half. Quick work with a Saws All.

[watab kid]

sorry to admit to all my southern family and friends but thats one of the best uses for grits ive ever heard of 

[Black Angus McPherson]

23 hours ago, Abilene Slim SASS 81783 said:

As more info comes out about the Chiefs parade:

 

When asked what led to the fight, one of those charged with shooting said, “He was staring at me.”

 

Nope, you can’t make this stuff up. 
 

 

Back in the day, we had a standing order on the afternoon watch, at shift change on a school day everybody headed straight out to the high school.  When the kids got out you could count on one or two fights (sometimes a mass melee) as they dispersed towards home, or where ever they were heading after school.

 

Often the fights started because "He (or she) was muggin' me".

 

I am also reminded of one murder that occurred when two brothers were fighting over who was going to get the last pork chop at dinner.  The weapon of choice for that one was a fork.  Must have been some darn good pork chops.

 

From the "You can't make this $#!+ up" files.

 

Angus