It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Sedalia Dave]

1 hour ago, Cactus Jack Calder said:

I need that hat! Where can I get one?

 

CJ

 

https://veteranvaults.com/products/dysfunctional

 

Edited April 11, 2023 by Sedalia Dave

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Sedalia Dave]

[Subdeacon Joe]

8 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

That person needs a visit to a woods shed. 

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession.

"Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site."

Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son?

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm afraid that someone will break their leg, so I fix the hole."

Priest: "Well, that's not so bad."

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left."

Priest: "What did you do with it?

Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta the weather, so I make him his own little doghouse."

Priest: "OK, anything else?"

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de weather either, so I make her a two-car garage."

Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand."

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a little lumber left."

Priest: "Yes?"

Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bathroom."

Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?"

Boudreaux: "No, Father ... but if you got the plans, I got the lumber."

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/819946633131915?s=yWDuG2&fs=e

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/730894092111425?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

[John Kloehr]

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

https://www.facebook.com/reel/730894092111425?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e

I'll take a guess.

 

In the past, many drivers failed to execute or even see the turn. They went straight up the hill on the other side, hopefully not t-boning oncoming traffic. The sign makes drivers realize they need to make a right.

 

Somewhere in the New York City area, drivers were driving into the wall on a multi-lane road at a curve. Traffic engineers put up arrows on the wall, drivers still plowed straight into it. The they put up a "Not A Through Road" sign on the wall, and that worked!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

3 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

I'll take a guess.

 

In the past, many drivers failed to execute or even see the turn. They went straight up the hill on the other side, hopefully not t-boning oncoming traffic. The sign makes drivers realize they need to make a right.

 

Somewhere in the New York City area, drivers were driving into the wall on a multi-lane road at a curve. Traffic engineers put up arrows on the wall, drivers still plowed straight into it. The they put up a "Not A Through Road" sign on the wall, and that worked!

Reminds me of Roadrunner & Wily Coyote.

[Subdeacon Joe]

33 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

I'll take a guess.

 

In the past, many drivers failed to execute or even see the turn. They went straight up the hill on the other side, hopefully not t-boning oncoming traffic. The sign makes drivers realize they need to make a right.

 

Somewhere in the New York City area, drivers were driving into the wall on a multi-lane road at a curve. Traffic engineers put up arrows on the wall, drivers still plowed straight into it. The they put up a "Not A Through Road" sign on the wall, and that worked!

 

OK.  That makes sense.

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

BOOT LEGGIN" 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001
dang fingers ain't workin right

[Subdeacon Joe]

Mine would just point and giggle.

 

 

 

You might say that they would "bare" all the costs!

Edited April 13, 2023 by Subdeacon Joe

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

"When you have SVD Dragunov tastes but a mil surplus budget..."

 

[Forty Rod SASS 3935]

On 4/10/2023 at 8:42 PM, Cactus Jack Calder said:

I need that hat! Where can I get one?

 

CJ

See them often at the VA hospital down the road.  I'll ask next time I'm there.

[Subdeacon Joe]

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Thibodeaux was visiting with his friend, Boudreaux, one day. Boudreaux asked Thibodeaux what he had been up to lately.

Thibodeaux says, "Well, I just came back from Lafayette me.

"What were you doing in Lafayette?" asked Boudreaux.

 

"I went up dere to buy me a new hunting dog cher," replies Thibodeaux.

Boudreaux says, "Mais Thibodeaux, what's wrong with the hunting dogs from around here mon ami?"

Thibodeaux says, "Well, dis hunting dog can walk on water."

 

Boudreaux laughs, "Thibodeaux, you got fooled you. Hunting dogs can't walk on water no."

Thibodeaux says, "I'm telling you cher. My new hunting dog can walk on water. You want to see?”

 

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux go out on the lake with Thibodeaux's new hunting dog. Pretty soon, Thibodeaux brings down a duck. The dog immediately walks out across the water, retrieves the duck, and jumps back in the boat.

Thibodeaux turns to Boudreau, "So what do you tink about dat, huh?"

Boudreaux replies, "Dat dog can't swim, can he?

[Subdeacon Joe]

Edited April 14, 2023 by Subdeacon Joe

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

I'm not a meme thief.  I prefer the title "Social Media Redistribution Specialist".

[Subdeacon Joe]

6 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

 

You also don't speak English.  

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/people-have-been-saying-ax-instead-ask-1200-years-180949663/

Quote

"It is not a new thing; it is not a mistake," he says. "It is a regular feature of English."

Sheidlower says you can trace "ax" back to the eighth century. 

https://chrisdier.com/2015/10/24/yatspeak-the-history-of-ax-instead-of-ask/

 

Quote

Recent research by the American Dialect Society claims that using “axe” instead of “ask” is nothing new nor is it a mistake.  The word “axe” derives from the Old English verb “ascian”, which means to enquire, and its usage is dated to over 1,200 years ago.  Chaucer frequently used “axe”.  The first complete English translation of the Bible, the Coverdale Bible, also uses it: “Axe and it shall be given.”  The term has Chaucerian roots and was habitually employed throughout English literature for centuries.

 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

You and ALPO have been spending more time together haven't you???

[Subdeacon Joe]

5 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

You and ALPO have been spending more time together haven't you???

 

 

The "axe, ask" bit of ignorance has been one of my pet peeves for at least 20 years. 

Make that 30.....hmmm.... might could be 35.

 

 

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Subdeacon Joe]

I don't think they sell these anymore.  At least I didn't see any stripped lowers on the website.

 

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

From a paranormal romance my wife is reading:

 

"Klaue wisely remained silent. He’d learned a few lessons over the years, and one of them was, “In situations where women are ganging up on you, shut up, because you’ve already lost and can’t do anything more about it, besides make it worse.”"

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/5pf4fDR

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

and , just where is your sence of adventure ? 

 

  CB 

 

  making the world worse 1 step at a time 

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://youtube.com/shorts/aWRAYbsnZZ4?feature=share