Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

Recommended Posts

From a paranormal romance my wife is reading:


"Klaue wisely remained silent. He’d learned a few lessons over the years, and one of them was, “In situations where women are ganging up on you, shut up, because you’ve already lost and can’t do anything more about it, besides make it worse.”"

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/5pf4fDR

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Back about 03 or 4, my daughter was living in Puerto Rico. There's a whole lot of stuff you can't find down there. Peanut brittle. Grits. Dr Pepper.


We had a facility down there, and every time someone from here was sent down there I would ask him if he would be willing to smuggle some food down there. ;)


We brought a couple of locals up here, to show our people how to do the rebuilds on the rotors. And they were here for about 3 weeks. When they were going to go back home, I asked if they would be willing to take some stuff with them and they were fine with that. Then I asked them if they had any interest in firing guns.


Oh yes.


It's almost impossible, or at least it was then, to shoot a gun in Puerto Rico.


So I brought a collection ranging from a 22 to a 44 Magnum, and a rifle and a shotgun, and my MP5.


Two days later they flew back home. I told my daughter to meet them at the airport, to get her stuff. I said that one guy has got real curly hair and wears glasses, and the other one has a ponytail down to his butt and will have a baseball cap on backwards.


And they will both be grinning like a jackass eating briars.


She told me that they were very easy to spot. They still had those giant grins from shooting those guns - and especially the machine gun - two days earlier. :D

  • Like 3
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda for himself, a scotch and soda for everyone in the bar, "and while you're at it, barkeep, pour one for yours too.”

This goes on all night. Finally, the bartender hands the man a sizable bill -- and the man says, "Sorry, I don't happen to have any money."

The bartender leaps over the bar and pounds the guy like veal, sending him to the hospital.

One year to the day later, the same guy appears at the same bar, with the same bartender and the same clientele.

"I'll have a scotch and soda," he says.

"Oh, yeah?" the bartender says. "And I suppose you want me to set one up for everybody in the bar, too?"

"Now that you mention it, sure."

"And I suppose you want me to fix one for myself too?"

"Not you. You're a nasty drunk."

  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Since Luke does not understand the beeps and worldsWHIRLS and whistles that R2 communicates with, maybe he did tell him, but Luke did not comprehend.

Edited by Alpo
  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:



I turned in one of those one time that listed the reason as "Need to repair the kick starter on the wife's broom." It was right before Halloween. I dropped it in the Chief's in basket at the end of the shift not knowing that we were getting a new Division Officer the next day.  Let's just say that she did not find it amusing. 



Edited by Sedalia Dave
  • Like 1
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.