It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

[Sedalia Dave]

[Subdeacon Joe]

When Grandma give you that AR with a knitted handguard.

 

[DeaconKC]

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/775678040441960?sfnsn=mo&s=F5x8gs&fs=e&mibextid=6AJuK9

[Alpo]

I understand everything this woman is saying, and I agree with her. Except - the gas company broke into the house??

 

That apparently happened somewhere in England, and this video was originally posted in February so it was a couple of months ago, but does anyone have a clue what she's talking about?

 

https://m.facebook.com/stoneridgetactical/videos/british-woman-applauds-america/1270609593880962/

[Alpo]

And I looked, which I should have done before asking I suppose.

 

In England, when you get behind in paying your gas bill, the gas company has been breaking into the customers houses and replacing the meter with a pay as you go meter.

 

Now I can sort of see my local gas company doing that, if I was two or three months behind. Actually they'd just turn me off, and let me freeze to death. Not their problem. But if they were going to be nice and let me still have gas so I wouldn't freeze, but make sure I pay for it, I can see them switching out a meter that I had to put money in every hour or so. But the gas meter at my house - at least both houses that I had natural gas in - was on the outside of the house. Apparently in England it's on the inside of the house. Wow.

[Rip Snorter]

When I was in the UK a long time ago, some houses had coin fed meters for both gas and electric.  Also, your lease on a property could be for decades, I think my then English girlfriend had 50 on her place in an historic house.

[Blackwater 53393]

11 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I understand everything this woman is saying, and I agree with her. Except - the gas company broke into the house??

 

That apparently happened somewhere in England, and this video was originally posted in February so it was a couple of months ago, but does anyone have a clue what she's talking about?

 

https://m.facebook.com/stoneridgetactical/videos/british-woman-applauds-america/1270609593880962/

I like this British lady, A LOT!!

 

She certainly holds Lyin’ Joe in very low esteem and her own government as well!

 

She apparently thinks a lot of American citizens and our Constitution!

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

2 hours ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said:

Say ‘a human body’

[LawMan Mark, SASS #57095L]

[Alpo]

[Subdeacon Joe]

Inclusion

 

[Subdeacon Joe]

https://youtube.com/shorts/hBALm8eAsto?feature=share

 

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

3 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

Inclusion

 

 

  ...... is that a Bud Lite in his hand ??  

[Alpo]

29 minutes ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

https://youtube.com/shorts/hBALm8eAsto?feature=share

 

Old joke

 

What does c a l spell? Cal

 

What does v e s spell? Ves

 

What does c a l v e s spell? Cal-ves

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

2 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Old joke

 

What does c a l spell? Cal

 

What does v e s spell? Ves

 

What does c a l v e s spell? Cal-ves

 

Calves spells baby cows .......   

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[DeaconKC]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him.

As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"

He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered.

At the lunch time, Anna knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me."

Peter happily agreed.

They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, Anna said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...

We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?"

Peter replied "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Anna said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." He nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by his mother, wife, his kids, dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And Peter just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked!

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Subdeacon Joe]

Someone bought a new batch of quills:

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit.

"It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said.

"Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another.

"Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats."

The manager was amazed.

He winked at his secretary.

The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine.

The drunkard tasted it and said.

"It's a blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[DeaconKC]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Subdeacon Joe]

[Brazos John]

14 hours ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

From the internet:

 

First heard in the original Die Hard in 1988, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherflicker,” is one of the many one-liners that have graced the action film, a body of work not known for its strong verbal tradition.

[Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494]

 

 

[sassnetguy50]

11 hours ago, Brazos John said:

 

From the internet:

 

First heard in the original Die Hard in 1988, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherflicker,” is one of the many one-liners that have graced the action film, a body of work not known for its strong verbal tradition.

A line added in after Willis and a writer were discussing watching Roy Rogers as kids.  

 

Edited April 25, 2023 by sassnetguy50