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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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On 8/24/2024 at 12:58 PM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider for speeding and asks for his name.

“Fred,” the old biker replies.

“Fred what?” the officer inquires.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

In a good mood and thinking about letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name?”

The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.”

The officer, now curious and a bit amused, decides to play along. “Okay, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker leans back and begins his tale. “Well, it’s a long story. I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard in school, got good grades, and decided to become a doctor. After years of study, I earned my degree and became Fred Johnson, MD.

“But after a while, being a doctor got dull, so I went back to school and became a dentist. Now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

“Things were fine until I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD. So then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“The ADA found out about the VD and took away my DDS, so I was just Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.

“Then the AMA heard about it, and they took away my MD, so I was just Fred Johnson with VD.

“Finally, the VD took away my Johnson, and that’s how I became… Just Fred.”

The officer walked away, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

main-qimg-01eefa7f7b7434db99b2068b5665dd15

 

25 minutes ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider for speeding and asks for his name.

“Fred,” the old biker replies.

“Fred what?” the officer inquires.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

In a good mood and thinking about letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name?”

The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.”

The officer, now curious and a bit amused, decides to play along. “Okay, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker leans back and begins his tale. “Well, it’s a long story. I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard in school, got good grades, and decided to become a doctor. After years of study, I earned my degree and became Fred Johnson, MD.

“But after a while, being a doctor got dull, so I went back to school and became a dentist. Now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

“Things were fine until I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD. So then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“The ADA found out about the VD and took away my DDS, so I was just Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.

“Then the AMA heard about it, and they took away my MD, so I was just Fred Johnson with VD.

“Finally, the VD took away my Johnson, and that’s how I became… Just Fred.”

The officer walked away, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

main-qimg-01eefa7f7b7434db99b2068b5665dd15

 

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37 minutes ago, John Kloehr said:

457443744_940151018156622_82918384118630

When I upshift, I take my foot off the gas. I push in the clutch and let go of the gas and shift and then I let out the clutch while pushing down on the gas. They are not both on the pedals at the same time.

 

When I downshift, I have my foot on the gas. I push in the clutch give it some gas to get the engine speed up while I downshift and then I let the clutch out and let it wind down. That's when I'm downshifting to brake. When I'm downshifting to accelerate, once again I have one foot at the gas and one foot at the clutch but neither foot is anywhere near the brake pedal, and when one is pushed down the other one is up in the air.

 

That last one I agree with, although occasionally that left foot is going up and down real fast as I'm going down through all the gears 5th to 4th to 3rd to 2nd to 1st.

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6 hours ago, John Kloehr said:

457443744_940151018156622_82918384118630

The Downshift picture is when you're going into a turn, or similar situation, you want to

slow down and downshift, so you break, clutch, and downshift, while giving it gas, so you can keep your rpms up, and accelerate out of the turn. 

The next one means someone in front of you messed up.  

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