John Kloehr Posted August 7, 2024 Posted August 7, 2024 A friend of mine told me a local dentist was just arrested for dealing drugs. My friend said he had been going to him for over ten years and never had a clue he was a dentist. 8 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 7, 2024 Posted August 7, 2024 A Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, all worked together at an office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left. The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again. "No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!" 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 7, 2024 Posted August 7, 2024 Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them. 1 4 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 8, 2024 Posted August 8, 2024 Triboulet was a jester at the court of Louis XII, king of France from 1498 to 1515 He became famous for slapping the king on the butt. This act made the king very angry and he threatened to have Triboulet executed. After taking a moment to calm down, the king decided to spare Triboulet's life if he could think of a more insulting apology than the one he had just made to the king. Triboulet went on to say, "I am so sorry, your majesty, that I did not recognize you! I mistook you for the queen!" While Triboulet's response was clever and indeed more offensive, he broke an order that forbade anyone from mocking the queen. The king decided to proceed with the execution but allowed Triboulet to choose how to die. With his life in danger, Triboulet responded: "Good father, for the love of Saint Nitouche and Saint Pansard, patrons of madness, I choose to die of old age." The speechless king could do nothing but laugh. He canceled the execution and decided to banish Triboulet. 2 3 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 8, 2024 Posted August 8, 2024 Q.How do you confuse a blond? A.Put her in a round room and ask her to find the corner. Q.How does the blond confuse you? A.She tells you she found the corner. 4 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 A magician worked on a cruise ship, performing the same tricks week after week since the audience was always new. However, there was one big problem: the captain's parrot. The bird watched every show and eventually figured out how all the tricks were done. Once it caught on, the parrot would start yelling in the middle of the magician's act, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or "He's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything about it—the parrot belonged to the captain. One stormy night, the ship tragically sank, taking almost everyone down with it. By a stroke of luck, the magician managed to survive, finding himself clinging to a piece of wood in the vast ocean. And, as fate would have it, the parrot was there too, floating on the same piece of wood. They glared at each other in silence, the tension thick between them. This went on for a day… then two days… then three… Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "OK, I give up. Where's the damn ship?" 1 5 Quote
Alpo Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 10 hours ago, Sedalia Dave said: I thought it was funny that Mama didn't seem upset when the kid grabbed a bird by the back of the neck and took food out of its mouth. She was laughing. She only got upset when the kid ate the food she took from the bird. 3 Quote
Sedalia Dave Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 51 minutes ago, Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 said: What happens when you let people with MBAs and no real world manufacturing experience run a company. They place more emphasis on their golden parachute and bonuses than building a quality product. 3 1 1 Quote
Alpo Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 Amazing. Good looking yet she has no tattoos or piercings. 2 1 Quote
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 43 minutes ago, Alpo said: Amazing. Good looking yet she has no tattoos or piercings. Good looking in part because she has no tattoos or piercings. I know that I'm an Old Curmudgeon, but I HIGHLY dislike tattoos on women, and most of them on men. Tattoos on an otherwise attractive woman will make me look away. Same with piercings anywhere except the ears, and there too if there more than one or two. 2 Quote
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 11, 2024 Posted August 11, 2024 Yaroslavl Pietrovski was getting his eyes checked. Doc: Can you read the bottom line on the eye chart? Yaroslavl: Read it? I know the guy! 2 3 Quote
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