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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

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Marie was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Boudreaux, you need to go out and fix da outhouse!"

Boudreaux replies, "Dere ain't nuthin wrong wid da outhouse."

Marie yells back, "Yes dere is; now git out dere and fix it."

So.......Boudreaux mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Marie dere ain't nuthin wrong wid dis outhouse cher! "

Marie replies, "Stick yur head in da hole!"

Boudreaux yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in dat hole!"

Marie says, "Ya have to stick yur head in da hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Boudreaux sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back,"Marie - Dere ain't nuthin wrong with dis outhouse!"

Marie hollers back, "Now take your head out of da hole!"

Boudreaux proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, and then starts yelling, "Marie - Help! My beard is stuck in da cracks in da toilet seat!"

To which Marie replies, "Hurts, don't it?"

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Said I have a broken link. How intuitive!

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An Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider for speeding and asks for his name.

“Fred,” the old biker replies.

“Fred what?” the officer inquires.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

In a good mood and thinking about letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name?”

The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.”

The officer, now curious and a bit amused, decides to play along. “Okay, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker leans back and begins his tale. “Well, it’s a long story. I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard in school, got good grades, and decided to become a doctor. After years of study, I earned my degree and became Fred Johnson, MD.

“But after a while, being a doctor got dull, so I went back to school and became a dentist. Now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

“Things were fine until I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD. So then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“The ADA found out about the VD and took away my DDS, so I was just Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.

“Then the AMA heard about it, and they took away my MD, so I was just Fred Johnson with VD.

“Finally, the VD took away my Johnson, and that’s how I became… Just Fred.”

The officer walked away, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

main-qimg-01eefa7f7b7434db99b2068b5665dd15
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6 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Said I have a broken link. How intuitive!

 

5 hours ago, Father Kit Cool Gun Garth said:

Snip-it_1724506466522.jpg.e7780107b1a4818ffeec64a075a6c01a.jpg

 

Still working for me 

 

Screenshot_20240824_115211_Instagram.thumb.jpg.607f42d6e0ded0af0bb7d9e5f2d2e716.jpg

 

 

Screenshot_20240824_115409_Instagram.thumb.jpg.da30821f9ae40054a7f59086c183bf5b.jpg

 

Screenshot_20240824_115215_Instagram.thumb.jpg.d9436db7ff6f0817e6df9d3394298519.jpg

 

the word partially covered in the last image is "Ego."

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The Cajun Stripper 
 

 Thibodeaux is passing by Hebert's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Hebert doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old International Harvester tractor.


 Buttocks clenched, Hebert performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
 

 Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
 

 Having seen enough, Thibodeaux rushes in and says, "What da world you doing, Hebert?"
 

 "Good grief, Thibodeaux, you scared the sac-a-lait out o' me," says an obviously embarrassed Hebert.
 

 "But you gots to understand, me an' da wife been havin a little trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and da terapist suggested I do sumting sexy to a tractor."
 

 

 

 (Now don't make me come 'splain dis to y'all! Jus' read the last line again, slowly . . .)

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A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

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8 minutes ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

I got an "erasable whiteboard" ..........

 

 

 

 

    ........... it's remarkable

 

         🙃

image.png.10d8472c0d4329b185851eab3e38d1c9.png

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1 hour ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

I got an "erasable whiteboard" ..........

 

 

 

 

    ........... it's remarkable

 

         🙃

 

a Godzilla facepalm.jpg

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An Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider for speeding and asks for his name.

“Fred,” the old biker replies.

“Fred what?” the officer inquires.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

In a good mood and thinking about letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name?”

The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.”

The officer, now curious and a bit amused, decides to play along. “Okay, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker leans back and begins his tale. “Well, it’s a long story. I was born Fred Johnson. Worked hard in school, got good grades, and decided to become a doctor. After years of study, I earned my degree and became Fred Johnson, MD.

“But after a while, being a doctor got dull, so I went back to school and became a dentist. Now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

“Things were fine until I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD. So then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“The ADA found out about the VD and took away my DDS, so I was just Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.

“Then the AMA heard about it, and they took away my MD, so I was just Fred Johnson with VD.

“Finally, the VD took away my Johnson, and that’s how I became… Just Fred.”

The officer walked away, laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

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Back in the days of the USSR and Warsaw Pact, several eastern and central European governments had to petition the Soviet government in Moscow if they wanted to restructure their government in any way.

One day, a petition comes from landlocked Czecholsovakia: “We wish to create a Ministry of the Navy”

The Soviet government responds: “Nyet. That is unnecessary - permission denied.”

A few weeks go by, and another message arrives from Czechoslovakia: “We wish to create a Ministry of the Navy”.

The Soviet government responds: “We have already told you. Nyet. No navy ministry!”

A few weeks go by, and a third message arrives from Czechoslovakia: “We wish to create a Ministry of the Navy”.

By now, the Soviet officials are getting annoyed, and send a longer message back: “Nyet, nyet, nyet! Czechoslovakia is a landlocked country. It has no seaports, and no easy access to the sea. It has no seagoing ships, and nothing that would be even close to being called a navy. Why would you want a Ministry of the Navy?”

The reply comes back quickly from Czechoslovakia: “Well, if Bulgaria can have a Ministry of Culture and you can have a Ministry of Justice…”

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