Alpo Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 1 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Claude all died and went to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gates and welcomes them in and says there are no rules, except don’t touch my ducks, the men say okay and they head in. One day Claude is walking by and sees the ducks and immediately goes to touch them. St. Peter comes flying out of nowhere, grabs Claude and marries him to the ugliest woman he has ever seen as punishment for touching his ducks. Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are reminded not to touch the ducks. One day Thibodeaux sees the ducks and decides to shoot one. Again St. Peter comes out in a fiery rage and marries him to an even uglier woman. Boudreaux swears he will never touch one of those ducks. One day Boudreaux is walking and minding his own business when St. Peter runs up and married Boudreaux to the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Boudreaux can’t believe his luck and asks his bride how he got here and his new wife says well I don’t know how you got here, but all I did was touch one of those ducks 2 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 The UPS driver was on his way to a delivery in the farming section of eastern Pennsylvania. It was a cold and wet winter day and this would be his last run. He anticipated getting home and relaxing by his fireplace. As he entered the last stretch of road before his delivery, the rain began to freeze on his windshield. It wasn't long before his wiper blades, worn out and ineffective, failed to keep up with the icy deposits. He was forced to stop at the side of the road. While scraping the ice off the windshield he had an idea. A friend of his, caught in a similar dilemma, had told him of a unique solution to this very same problem. He stopped scraping the ice and went into the woods that lined both sides of the road. Once there he began looking under large rocks until he found two rattlesnakes about twenty inches long. Because of the cold and the fact that they were hibernating they were quite stiff. But with reasonable effort tie was able to straighten them. He returned to his truck and installed these two rattlesnakes in place of the blades that were defective. As a result, he was able to complete his duties and enjoy his fireplace all because of the wind chilled vipers. 1 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 9 hours ago, Alpo said: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Kit Cool Gun Garth Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 46 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: The UPS driver was on his way to a delivery in the farming section of eastern Pennsylvania. It was a cold and wet winter day and this would be his last run. He anticipated getting home and relaxing by his fireplace. As he entered the last stretch of road before his delivery, the rain began to freeze on his windshield. It wasn't long before his wiper blades, worn out and ineffective, failed to keep up with the icy deposits. He was forced to stop at the side of the road. While scraping the ice off the windshield he had an idea. A friend of his, caught in a similar dilemma, had told him of a unique solution to this very same problem. He stopped scraping the ice and went into the woods that lined both sides of the road. Once there he began looking under large rocks until he found two rattlesnakes about twenty inches long. Because of the cold and the fact that they were hibernating they were quite stiff. But with reasonable effort tie was able to straighten them. He returned to his truck and installed these two rattlesnakes in place of the blades that were defective. As a result, he was able to complete his duties and enjoy his fireplace all because of the wind chilled vipers. 3 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Kloehr Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 55 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: The UPS driver was on his way to a delivery in the farming section of eastern Pennsylvania. It was a cold and wet winter day and this would be his last run. He anticipated getting home and relaxing by his fireplace. As he entered the last stretch of road before his delivery, the rain began to freeze on his windshield. It wasn't long before his wiper blades, worn out and ineffective, failed to keep up with the icy deposits. He was forced to stop at the side of the road. While scraping the ice off the windshield he had an idea. A friend of his, caught in a similar dilemma, had told him of a unique solution to this very same problem. He stopped scraping the ice and went into the woods that lined both sides of the road. Once there he began looking under large rocks until he found two rattlesnakes about twenty inches long. Because of the cold and the fact that they were hibernating they were quite stiff. But with reasonable effort tie was able to straighten them. He returned to his truck and installed these two rattlesnakes in place of the blades that were defective. As a result, he was able to complete his duties and enjoy his fireplace all because of the wind chilled vipers. Have you ever considered a career in comedy? Stop it. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 1 hour ago, John Kloehr said: Have you ever considered a career in comedy? Stop it. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 3 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 42 minutes ago, Alpo said: ......... and neither would I ...... 🥰 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 That reminds me of the story of the man that was told by his HOA he had to build a fence to hide his garbage can. That took a hell of a search. All the pictures I could find were legitimate fences to hide your trash can. Finally found that. 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 Celtic are playing Lazio in Rome. Two Celtic supporters go into a bar. “What will you have?” Asks the barman. “Since we're in Rome we'll have whatever the Pope drinks.” “The Pope he drinks the Creme de Menthe” “OK, give us a couple of pints of that”. So the barman pours them a couple of pints of Creme de Menthe and they chug them down. “Wow, that's good stuff, we'll have another 2 pints.” After downing another couple of pints each they stagger into the street and collapse. They miss the match and wake up at noon the next day with the thumping hangovers. “That's what the Pope drinks?” “No wonder they have to carry him around in a chair.” 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bascomb, SASS # 47,494 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 Speaking of Ford trucks 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 Two men are at the first tee on a golf course. The first takes out his golf ball and says “Slazenger”. The second man takes out his ball and says “Bleeper Two”. The first man says “I never heard of that before”. The second man says “It’s fantastic. If you hit it into the trees it automatically bleeps loudly so it’s easy to find. And if you hit it into the lake it has a little flotation collar and paddles that bring it back to the shore. And if it’s foggy there’s a little blue light that flashes so you can’t lose it” The second man says “That’s amazing! Where did you get it?” The first man says “I found it”. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, a leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary for the last forty-three years." St Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?!" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed." 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are discussing their pregnancies. The brunette says, ‘I was on top so I reckon I'll have a boy ?’ The redhead says, ‘I was underneath so I reckon I'll have a girl ?’ At this point the blonde bursts into tears. The other two ask, ‘whatever's the matter ?’ Between sobs the blonde blurts out, ‘I think I'm having puppies !’ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subdeacon Joe Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 In Athens people have trouble getting up before sunrise. Yeah.... Dawn is tough on Greece. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpo Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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