The Aussie Humour Thread

[Buckshot Bear]

[Rip Snorter]

7 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Well you do have big fruit bats, makes sense to me!

[Eyesa Horg]

14 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Yep, that'd be me!

[Brazos John]

10 hours ago, Alpo said:

Are you on a computer or a phone? When Allie asked me if I was upset by her naming me that, I had no idea what she was talking about, because I'm doing this on my phone and you can't see that.

 

If they've taken away the cute little name she gave us - I don't know what the hell the reason for that would be.

I'm on a computer.

Under your name, it says Members, like for everyone else.

I think that's where it used to say Perpetually Perplexed.

I don't know when it changed, and I wouldn't have thought of it without your comment.

Maybe it offended someone that actually was Perpetually Perplexed!

Maybe he'll get his own Bud can!  

[Alpo]

I know we've had a software update since Allie did that. Maybe the update did away with all the custom names.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

8 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

 ......... well, ...... it is.  

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

 

 

 

 

 .... it may well be a good day, one may well be old, ....... and ones' parentage may well be questionable.   

[Buckshot Bear]

 

I've mentioned this before.

My Father was a Commando in New Guinea, he did his Commando training in Victoria at Wilsons Promontory where all the Australian Commando Units first did and they were first issued Thompson .45 'Tommy Guns'. When they were reissued with Owen guns after some time in New Guinea they didn't like them. The 9mm Owen didn't have the stopping power against Japs in Banzai charges like the great stopping power the Thompson .45 caliber submachine firing a 230gn slug had.
The American GI's were fascinated with the Owens and were very happy to swap their Thompsons for the Owens and the Australian Commando's were happy to oblige the GI's. The Australian Commando's used both the stick magazine and the 50 round drum magazine on the Thompsons.
My Dad turned 19 in the jungles of New Guinea.

[Buckshot Bear]

Were these back door fly strips a thing in America? They were pretty ubiquitous here in Oz when I was a kid.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

Udder Surfing Downunder

 

[Alpo]

3 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Were these back door fly strips a thing in America? They were pretty ubiquitous here in Oz when I was a kid.

 

No, we had screen doors.

 

 

[sassnetguy50]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

No, we had screen doors.

 

 

Or a hanging net.

 

We did have hanging fly tape it was a single strand about 3' by 1" and girls love to tangle it into their hair.

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

No, we had screen doors.

 

 

 

Yeah we had combos of screen doors AND the fly strips.......the strips were to help stop you walking the bastards inside on your shirt.

 

[sassnetguy50]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Yeah we had combos of screen doors AND the fly strips.......the strips were to help stop you walking the bastards inside on your shirt.

 

Do you wipe off your front then walk backwards through the doorway?

[Sedalia Dave]

14 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

I've mentioned this before.

My Father was a Commando in New Guinea, he did his Commando training in Victoria at Wilsons Promontory where all the Australian Commando Units first did and they were first issued Thompson .45 'Tommy Guns'. When they were reissued with Owen guns after some time in New Guinea they didn't like them. The 9mm Owen didn't have the stopping power against Japs in Banzai charges like the great stopping power the Thompson .45 caliber submachine firing a 230gn slug had.
The American GI's were fascinated with the Owens and were very happy to swap their Thompsons for the Owens and the Australian Commando's were happy to oblige the GI's. The Australian Commando's used both the stick magazine and the 50 round drum magazine on the Thompsons.
My Dad turned 19 in the jungles of New Guinea.

 

Wonder why they didn't make it in 45 ACP.?

[Rip Snorter]

16 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

Wonder why they didn't make it in 45 ACP.?

They did make an Enfield in .45 for the SOE, it was suppressed, and possibly the quietest to this day. It used 1911 magazines.  Look up The De Lisle Carbine.

[sassnetguy50]

37 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

Wonder why they didn't make it in 45 ACP.?

They did make it in 45ACP for testing which it passed.

https://www.forgottenweapons.com/submachine-guns/owen-smg/

[Buckshot Bear]

https://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/smith-maria-ann-13199?fbclid=IwAR11TUsUkv28QeRoAqBSjEoIjC0xgviS18HO8jpzoR_PbwOTvtSVQ-aO3Bo

 

[Alpo]

Can anybody read that stone? Giving me eyestrain. The shadows.

 

Sacred to the memory of Maria Ann the beloved wife of Thomas Smith who died March 9th 1870(?)

 

Then there's three lines of cursive, which I mostly cannot make out, but it ends with SHALL MEET AGAIN

 

So teach us to number ??? that we may apply our hearts ??? wisdom

 

Also

Thomas Smith beloved husband of the above

Died 21 July 1876 (?)

Aged ?? years

[Rip Snorter]

Click on the image to open it in a new window, click twice to enlarge.  Any details that are hard to read are in the link.

[Buckshot Bear]

13 minutes ago, Alpo said:

Can anybody read that stone? Giving me eyestrain. The shadows.

 

Sacred to the memory of Maria Ann the beloved wife of Thomas Smith who died March 9th 1870(?)

 

Then there's three lines of cursive, which I mostly cannot make out, but it ends with SHALL MEET AGAIN

 

So teach us to number ??? that we may apply our hearts ??? wisdom

 

Also

Thomas Smith beloved husband of the above

Died 21 July 1876 (?)

Aged ?? years

 

 

71 

 

[Sedalia Dave]

[Alpo]

Clicking on it twice just made it blink. It did not get any bigger. The link gives the dates, but it is not help with the cursive.

 

Buckshot played with the color and it is easier to read, but I still cannot read all of it.

 

If someone can, please write what it says.

[Sedalia Dave]

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

Clicking on it twice just made it blink. It did not get any bigger. The link gives the dates, but it is not help with the cursive.

 

Buckshot played with the color and it is easier to read, but I still cannot read all of it.

 

If someone can, please write what it says.

 

We lay dear mother here in hope the lamb once slain will rise her up and we shall meet again

 

“Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” 

I believe the very faint writing after wisdom is referring to the source Psalm 90: 12

 

Also

Thomas Smith

Beloved husband of the above

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Rip Snorter]

2 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

A shoe in!

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Buckshot Bear]

Drummond, Irene Melville (1905–1942)

by Julie Gorrell

 

Irene Melville Drummond (1905-1942), army matron, was born on 26 July 1905 at Ashfield, Sydney, daughter of Cedric Drummond, marine engineer, and his wife Katherine, née Melville, both Queensland born. Educated at Catholic schools in Adelaide and at Broken Hill, New South Wales, Irene returned to Adelaide, trained as a nurse at Miss Laurence's Private Hospital, qualified in obstetrics at the Queen's Home and worked at Angaston Hospital. In 1933 she moved to the Broken Hill and District Hospital where she proved to be a compassionate and extremely competent nurse, well liked and respected by her superiors and colleagues. She served as a surgical sister, assistant-matron and acting-matron.

 

Appointed sister in the Australian Army Nursing Service, Australian Imperial Force, on 8 November 1940, Drummond was called up for full-time duty with the 2nd/4th Casualty Clearing Station in January 1941. Next month she sailed for Singapore to join the 2nd/9th Field Ambulance. Briefly back with the 2nd/4th C.C.S., she was promoted matron on 5 August and posted to the 2nd/13th Australian General Hospital in September. When the Japanese invaded Malaya on 8 December, the hospital was situated near Johore Bahru. In January 1942 it was hurriedly moved to St Patrick's School, Singapore. Despite chaotic conditions—brought on by the hasty retreat, enemy air-raids and increasing admissions of battle casualties—Drummond's quiet efficiency helped to ensure that the wards were operational within 48 hours.

 

By early February 1942 surrender to the Japanese appeared likely. Throughout January, Major General Gordon Bennett had repeatedly refused to allow the evacuation of A.A.N.S. personnel. It was not until 10 February that they began leaving, five days before the capitulation. On the 12th only Drummond, Matron Olive Paschke of the 2nd/10th A.G.H. and sixty-three members of their staffs remained in Singapore. Although the nurses had begged to be allowed to stay with their patients, they were put on board the steamer, Vyner Brooke, that day for the perilous voyage to Australia. On the 14th in Banka Strait the vessel was hit by bombs. The nurses helped other passengers to abandon ship. Scooping up a small Chinese boy as the Vyner Brooke sank, Drummond escaped in a lifeboat.

 

A group of survivors, including Drummond and twenty-one fellow nurses, came ashore at Radji Beach, Banka Island. They were joined by some twenty British servicemen from another sunken ship. Having discovered that the island was already in the hands of the Japanese and that no help could be expected from the local population, on 16 February the party resolved to surrender. One of the Vyner Brooke's officers was sent to Muntok to negotiate with the Japanese. While he was away Drummond suggested that the civilian women and children should leave for Muntok. Shortly after the civilians departed, a Japanese officer and twenty soldiers arrived at the beach.

 

Ignoring pleas that the remaining group was surrendering, the Japanese separated the men from the women. The men were marched around a small bluff to another cove; there they were shot and bayoneted. The Japanese returned to the nurses who had been left on the beach. They were ordered to walk toward the sea and all knew their fate. The Japanese soldiers fired at the line of nurses with a machine-gun; Irene Drummond was the first to die. Evidence that has emerged many years since this event suggests it was probable that many of these nurses were raped before they were shot. There was one survivor of the massacre, Sister Lt Vivienne Bullwinkel.

Irene Drummond was mentioned in dispatches in 1946. The Sister Drummond Memorial Park, opened at Broken Hill hospital in 1949, commemorates her.

 

 

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Abilene Slim SASS 81783]

I like the stuff. I worked at a pizzeria back in college days and made a lot of ‘em. 

[Clay Mosby]

11 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

Reminds me of a funny, but painful story:

Back in '71 I was stationed at Ft. Hood, TX. Nearby base town of Killeen had a Shakeys Pizza. One of their best sellers was a Jalapeno Pizza. basically a cheese pizza loaded with Jalapenos. And I swear this owner got the hottest ones he could get.

Anyway, one of the guys moonlighted there and told us a harrowing tale of why one wears gloves when making the Jalapeno Specials. Seems one night they got slammed with orders for the special, and he forgot to grab his gloves and just dipped both hands into the pepper jar. After making several extra large, he had to pee. totally not thinking he ran to the head and without a single pause, did his business. Then, he washed his hands and went back to work. A few minutes later he started feeling a bit uncomfortable in the groin area, and within minutes the "uncomfortable" became a severe burning, quickly escalating to agony. 

He left work and had a friend drive him to the base hospital, where it was discovered he had a wonderful crop of blisters on his member!! He was unable to report for duty for a couple days until things calmed down. His CO told him that he figured the "discomfort" was severe enough that he wasn't going to pursue an Article 15 for 'damage to government property", but perhaps he should rethink his moonlighting efforts!