The Aussie Humour Thread

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Alpo]

Is the curly headed one in white famous? The one in black next to her appears to be Olivia, and the one with her back to us sure looks like Princess Di. So I wondered if the one in white was anybody special or she was just somebody there that the princess was smiling at?

 

Although, the more I look at the chin of the young lady in black the less I think she's Olivia.

[Buckshot Bear]

My Morning Poem:

By A B Banjo Paterson.

'We're All Australians Now'

Australia takes her pen in hand

To write a line to you,

To let you fellows understand

How proud we are of you.

From shearing shed and cattle run,

From Broome to Hobson's Bay,

Each native-born Australian son

Stands straighter up today.

The man who used to "hump his drum",

On far-out Queensland runs

Is fighting side by side with some

Tasmanian farmer's sons.

The fisher-boys dropped sail and oar

To grimly stand the test,

Along that storm-swept Turkish shore,

With miners from the west.

The old state jealousies of yore

Are dead as Pharaoh's sow,

We're not State children any more —

We're all Australians now!

Our six-starred flag that used to fly

Half-shyly to the breeze,

Unknown where older nations ply

Their trade on foreign seas,

Flies out to meet the morning blue

With Vict'ry at the prow;

For that's the flag the Sydney flew,

The wide seas know it now!

The mettle that a race can show

Is proved with shot and steel,

And now we know what nations know

And feel what nations feel.

The honoured graves beneath the crest

Of Gaba Tepe hill

May hold our bravest and our best,

But we have brave men still.

With all our petty quarrels done,

Dissensions overthrown,

We have, through what you boys have done,

A history of our own.

Our old world diff'rences are dead,

Like weeds beneath the plough,

For English, Scotch, and Irish-bred,

They're all Australians now!

So now we'll toast the Third Brigade

That led Australia's van,

For never shall their glory fade

In minds Australian.

Fight on, fight on, unflinchingly,

Till right and justice reign.

Fight on, fight on, till Victory

Shall send you home again.

And with Australia's flag shall fly

A spray of wattle-bough

To symbolise our unity —

We're all Australians now.

Published as an Open letter to the troops at The Dardanelles, 1915

 

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

You know, my mate in Cairns once commented to me, (over a few wobbly pops), that if they could train those black and white things as a weapon, they'd probably be banned under the Hague Convention.

[Buckshot Bear]

4 hours ago, Alpo said:

Is the curly headed one in white famous? The one in black next to her appears to be Olivia, and the one with her back to us sure looks like Princess Di. So I wondered if the one in white was anybody special or she was just somebody there that the princess was smiling at?

 

Although, the more I look at the chin of the young lady in black the less I think she's Olivia.

 

Princes Di, Olivia Newton-John and Kylie Minogue. 

[Alpo]

" Minogue is the highest-selling female Australian artist of all time, having sold over 80 million records worldwide"

 

I never heard of her.

 

But, thank you for explaining who she was.

 

 

This is why you can't trust wiki.

"With global sales of more than 100 million records, Newton-John established herself as one of the best-selling music artists of all time, as well as one of the highest-selling female Australian artists"

 

In the wiki article on Olivia it says she sold over 100 million records.

 

Yet the wiki article on Kylie says that she is the best selling Australian ever ever ever ever ever, and she sold 80 million records.

 

I kind of thought that 100 million was more than 80 million. But maybe Olivia don't count because she wasn't born in Oz. She opted to become Australian.

Edited December 9, 2023 by Alpo

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Eyesa Horg]

Looks damn good for 92

[Texas Joker]

5 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

Looks damn good for 92

That's what she said.

[Sedalia Dave]

[Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474]

[DeaconKC]

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

such an inviting place 

 

  CB 

 

  

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

4 hours ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

such an inviting place 

 

  CB 

 

  

 

 

 ...... yeah, .... C'mon Down   

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

Clancy Of The Overflow by A.B. (Banjo) Paterson

 

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better

Knowledge, sent to where I met him down the Lachlan, years ago,

He was shearing when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,

Just "on spec", addressed as follows, "Clancy, of The Overflow".

 

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected,

(And I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar)

Twas his shearing mate who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:

"Clancy's gone to Queensland droving, and we don't know where he are."

 

In my wild erratic fancy visions come to me of Clancy

Gone a-droving "down the Cooper" where the Western drovers go;

As the stock are slowly stringing, Clancy rides behind them singing,

For the drover's life has pleasures that the townsfolk never know.

 

And the bush hath friends to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him

In the murmur of the breezes and the river on its bars,

And he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended,

And at night the wond'rous glory of the everlasting stars.

 

I am sitting in my dingy little office, where a stingy

Ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,

And the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city

Through the open window floating, spreads its foulness over all

 

And in place of lowing cattle, I can hear the fiendish rattle

Of the tramways and the buses making hurry down the street,

And the language uninviting of the gutter children fighting,

Comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

 

And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me

As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste,

With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,

For townsfolk have no time to grow, they have no time to waste.

 

And I somehow rather fancy that I'd like to change with Clancy,

Like to take a turn at droving where the seasons come and go,

While he faced the round eternal of the cash-book and the journal —

But I doubt he'd suit the office, Clancy, of "The Overflow".

 

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

ya KNOW , we have lots of things here that want to kill too 

 

 just not as many different critters 

 

 BUT , we can shoot back , just recall the the 3 s rule , if ya do 

 

  CB 

[Buckshot Bear]

1 hour ago, Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001 said:

ya KNOW , we have lots of things here that want to kill too 

 

 just not as many different critters 

 

 BUT , we can shoot back , just recall the the 3 s rule , if ya do 

 

  CB 

 

Yep you got big toothy critters with big teeth.....ours are more of the smaller, tiny nasty bastards that take you out screaming for someone to shoot you. 

 

 

 

Edited December 11, 2023 by Buckshot Bear

[Sedalia Dave]

[Buckshot Bear]

The humble Choko.....very nice with butter & pepper.

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Kid Rich]

13 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

The humble Choko.....very nice with butter & pepper.

 

Looks like something hangin off of a trailer hitch on a pickup in Texas.

kR

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

7 hours ago, Kid Rich said:

Looks like something hangin off of a trailer hitch on a pickup in Texas.

kR

 

 ..... and doesn't taste any better neither ......  

[Buckshot Bear]

Some people react way too much about having a cowlick.

 

[Alpo]

Just think how she would have reacted if that tongue had been below the nose.

[Buckshot Bear]

Back in the day

 

[John Kloehr]

3 hours ago, Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 said:

..... and doesn't taste any better neither ......  

I really do not want to know how you know... But  will trust your opinion.