Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum

It's Almost Friday Humor Thread


Subdeacon Joe

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

You eat your cereal with a fork?

 

Even I'm not that weird. 

If you eat your cereal with a fork, the milk drains down between the tines. Then you have a full bowl of milk you can pour back in the jug and use again tomorrow. Milk lasts a lot longer that way.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2
  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Alpo said:

How about cereal bowls?

hqdefault.jpg

 

1 hour ago, Subdeacon Joe said:

 

You eat your cereal with a fork?

 

Even I'm not that weird. 

 

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

If you eat your cereal with a fork, the milk drains down between the tines. Then you have a full bowl of milk you can pour back in the jug and use again tomorrow. Milk lasts a lot longer that way.

 

That is the most redneck thing I ever heard of. 

 

baby-fell-down-lmao-5gumsmvjae282n4y.gif.58d6fa4fccfdac94ad0065a9c9e59cb6.gif

  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said:

 

 

 

That is the most redneck thing I ever heard of. 

 

baby-fell-down-lmao-5gumsmvjae282n4y.gif.58d6fa4fccfdac94ad0065a9c9e59cb6.gif

Think about it.

 

You going to have a big bowl of cold cereal every day for a week. Takes about a cup of milk, because it's a big bowl. Seven cups of milk. So you need a half gallon.

 

BUT --- if you eat your cereal with a fork, when you get through eating all your cereal, most of your milk will still be in the bowl. Pour it back into the jug for tomorrow. Instead of a half gallon, you can get by with a pint.

 

People need to save their money everywhere they can.

  • Thanks 2
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if they do that in England - eat cereal with a fork?

 

There is a Dick Francis murder mystery called Rat Race. The hero - Matt - has just started his job, and he owes a lot of alimony, so he ain't got no money. He's not received his first paycheck yet.

 

The girl that works there comes to visit him, and she asked if he was going to invite her in for a drink. He said he didn't have anything to drink. She said she'd settle for a beer, and he told her he didn't have any of that either. So she goes over and looks in his refrigerator, and it's empty. And she looks over at him and says something about, you ain't got no food in this place cuz you ain't been paid yet. Then she leaves.

 

She shows up the next day with some food. A tomato, some hamburger, couple of cans of soup, some coffee, a box of corn flakes, a pint of milk, and a six pack of beer. Told him that he could pay her back when he got paid.

 

She got him a box of cereal and a pint of milk. That just sounds like he had to be reusing that milk. B)

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Alpo said:

Think about it.

 

You going to have a big bowl of cold cereal every day for a week. Takes about a cup of milk, because it's a big bowl. Seven cups of milk. So you need a half gallon.

 

BUT --- if you eat your cereal with a fork, when you get through eating all your cereal, most of your milk will still be in the bowl. Pour it back into the jug for tomorrow. Instead of a half gallon, you can get by with a pint.

 

People need to save their money everywhere they can.

Think about it:

 

You put the fork in your mouth.

 

Then you rinse the fork off in your bowl of milk.

 

Then you put the fork back in your mouth.

 

Then you rinse it off again in your bowl of milk.

 

Repeat until the cereal is gone, then pour the milk you've been using to rinse your fork off back into the jug.

 

Why don't you just put the cereal in your mouth with a spoon, and spit the extra milk back into the jug before you chew the cereal? That way when you're done with the cereal, the milk's already back in the jug and  you don't have to worry about spilling it when you pour it back into the jug.

 

Puking Smiley GIF - Puking Smiley Sick - Discover & Share GIFs | Funny  emoticons, Animated emoticons, Funny emoji faces

Edited by Ozark Huckleberry
  • Like 2
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You do that anyhow, when you eat any liquid. Bowl of cereal. Bowl of soup. Stew. Chili. Oatmeal.

 

You take your clean spoon and you stick it in the food and you pick up a spoonful and you stick it in your mouth. Getting your mouth germs all over your spoon. Then you stick it back in the bowl of food, getting your mouth germs all mixed up in the liquid in the bowl. And the more you eat, the more you stick your spoon in your mouth getting it dirty, and the more you stick your dirty spoon back in your bowl getting your bowl full of mouth germs. :P

 

 

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Alpo said:

You do that anyhow, when you eat any liquid. Bowl of cereal. Bowl of soup. Stew. Chili. Oatmeal.

 

You take your clean spoon and you stick it in the food and you pick up a spoonful and you stick it in your mouth. Getting your mouth germs all over your spoon. Then you stick it back in the bowl of food, getting your mouth germs all mixed up in the liquid in the bowl. And the more you eat, the more you stick your spoon in your mouth getting it dirty, and the more you stick your dirty spoon back in your bowl getting your bowl full of mouth germs. :P

 

 

But you don’t finish by putting your slobber back in the common pot. 

Just now, Ozark Huckleberry said:

But you don’t finish by putting your slobber back in the common pot. 

Or maybe you do . . . .

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I keep forgetting that there are people that do not live alone. People who do not routinely drink out of the milk jug. People that actually get a clean spoon to taste what they're cooking every time.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A head without a body floats into a bar.

Hovering above a seat, the head orders a whiskey.

The bartender obliges, and the head slurps it up.

Poof! The head suddenly sprouts a torso!

The head (now a guy with a torso) orders another, “and make it a double!”

The bartender pours a stiff one and the head-guy slurps it up.

Poof! The torso now has two arms!

Again, the head (now more of a person) asks for another drink.

The bartender pour the drink, and the guy tosses it back.

Poof! The former head sprouts two legs!

He asks the barkeep for one last whiskey, and drinks it down.

As soon as he’s finished the drink, poof! He disappears entirely.

The bartender remarks to those who have now gathered around, “he should have quit when he was ahead.”

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/6/2024 at 3:35 AM, Alpo said:

You do that anyhow, when you eat any liquid. Bowl of cereal. Bowl of soup. Stew. Chili. Oatmeal.

 

You take your clean spoon and you stick it in the food and you pick up a spoonful and you stick it in your mouth. Getting your mouth germs all over your spoon. Then you stick it back in the bowl of food, getting your mouth germs all mixed up in the liquid in the bowl. And the more you eat, the more you stick your spoon in your mouth getting it dirty, and the more you stick your dirty spoon back in your bowl getting your bowl full of mouth germs. :P

 

 

 

But you aren't putting it back in the fridge to ferment overnight, taking a bite the next day, putting it back in the fridge with more contamination to again ferment overnight, and doing it several times.  

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

In 1892, William Wrigley, Jr. opened the first chewing gum factory.

Almost immediately, an employee fell into a vat.

His boss chewed him out.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

A head without a body floats into a bar.

Hovering above a seat, the head orders a whiskey.

The bartender obliges, and the head slurps it up.

Poof! The head suddenly sprouts a torso!

The head (now a guy with a torso) orders another, “and make it a double!”

The bartender pours a stiff one and the head-guy slurps it up.

Poof! The torso now has two arms!

Again, the head (now more of a person) asks for another drink.

The bartender pour the drink, and the guy tosses it back.

Poof! The former head sprouts two legs!

He asks the barkeep for one last whiskey, and drinks it down.

As soon as he’s finished the drink, poof! He disappears entirely.

The bartender remarks to those who have now gathered around, “he should have quit when he was ahead.”

 

 

5 free drinks. 

 

Edited by Subdeacon Joe
  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.