Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 A Mrs Fields chocolate chip to be exact, and enjoying it immensely while watching the ball game. I finished cookie uno and as I reached over to start on cookie the second, I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that a chip had fallen out and was perched on the edge of the side table. Still watching the game as I maneuvered the tasty morsel toward my waiting maw, I perceived that it felt a little mushy, no doubt from sitting on the warm table. Then, just as I was tossing into my mouth, I recalled the fly I had seen on the curtain earlier about a foot away from the table. You know how time slows down when something horrible is about to happen? Like when you see a truck coming at you on the wrong side of the road, or your about to slip off the top of the swing set, or you realized you cut the wrong wire on the bomb? Okay maybe not the last one… Well the suspected fly was heading making a bee line….er a fly line I guess, right for my sensitive tasty buds and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. As my brain shifted in to granny gear and my muscles froze in fear, many things ran through my mind. First. I had just vacuumed the carpet and now It was about to need a deep cleaning. Second. What’s the best a immediate action for fly in mouth disease? Spitting? Swallowing? Both, while puking? What if in the brief millisecond it was in my mouth the fly squirted some fertile eggs in panic? And what if, even after rinsing with Scope and Everclear, some managed to hatch inside my pie hole? Third. Could I, with accurate projectile vomit, knock the fly out of the air like a Russian MiG over Ukraine before It violated my oral air space? Fourth. What if it went in, was sitting on my tongue, and I heard a tiny buzzing Help me issuing from near my uvula? All these thoughts and a few others ran through brain as the fly finally plopped down on my tongue. Turns out it was in fact a chocolate chip. That was close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abilene Slim SASS 81783 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 Whew, glad it worked out. That could’ve been a real oral dilemma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muleshoe Bill SASS #67022 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 You missed a high protein morsel..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. C.J. Sabre, SASS #46770 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 I was walking through the woods one day, when I met a man running the other direction. "What's the matter?" I called to him. He finally stopped and told me, "I thought I stepped on a snake, but it turned out to be a stick!" Then why are you running?" I asked. "Because the stick I picked up to hit it with turned out to be a snake!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckshot Bear Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 Lucky it wasn't a fly and just chocolate. Or maybe................it was a chocolate fly https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/chocolate-allergies-linked-cockroach-parts-628784 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackwater 53393 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 DANG!! What reflexes to snare that chocolate morsel!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michigan Slim Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 Channeling your inner Alpo again Bob? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 Are you absolutely sure it was a chocolate chip? They do taste like flies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 Watch out for PETA now Imis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 5 minutes ago, Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 said: Watch out for PETA now Imis The fly committed subside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 17, 2022 Author Share Posted April 17, 2022 2 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said: The fly committed subside. Well, it took a while for my fear and disgust to subside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sedalia Dave Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 15 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said: Lucky it wasn't a fly and just chocolate. Or maybe................it was a chocolate fly https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/chocolate-allergies-linked-cockroach-parts-628784 If people had any idea how many grasshoppers there were in a bushel of wheat they would likely never eat anything made with wheat flour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utah Bob #35998 Posted April 17, 2022 Author Share Posted April 17, 2022 5 minutes ago, Sedalia Dave said: If people had any idea how many grasshoppers there were in a bushel of wheat they would likely never eat anything made with wheat flour. I’ll eat dang near anything if it’s dried and ground up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 One dropped into the Chalice, in the Sanctuary while I was assisting Father Jim, preparing to administer Holy Communion. He Blessed the wine and the Host, then noticed the fly in the Chalice, containing the consecrated wine, (which becomes The Blood of Christ+) All the contents of the Chalice were thus Blessed. He ate the fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Dan Troop 70448 Posted April 17, 2022 Share Posted April 17, 2022 This may help. Then there's this special cookie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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