Commonwealth Humor

[Subdeacon Joe 21,359]

this is too good to not share
A Brit lands in Sydney, and is waiting at passport control. His turn comes and he steps to the agent.

The agent asks his name, and the Brit gives it.

The agent asks his occupation, and the Brit gives it.

The agent asks "have you ever been convicted of a crime?" The Brit responds "right, so that's still a requirement?"

[Birdgun Quail, SASS #63663 2,861]

That is a good one! 

[Cheyenne Ranger, 48747L 1,634]

gotta know history for that one to work

[Cat Brules 1,722]

British Humor     

 

CB

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 1,549]

yep .......

   ...... it's still a requirement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 2,175]

A German on holiday get pulled over for speeding in France. The cop asks him his name and he gives it.  Then, the cop asks his age and he gives it, too. The cop then asks, "Occupation?" to which he replies, "No, just visiting."

[Subdeacon Joe 21,359]

"Just once in the 1940s.  I didn't stop,  just made a  delivery. "

[Alpo 5,290]

1 hour ago, Cat Brules said:

British Humor     

 

CB

HumoUr if it's British.

 

 

[Buffalo Creek Law Dog 295]

Back in the 60's I was a correction officer with the Alberta Provincial Gaols.  (Old English)

A lot of people pronounce it "Goal" because they can't get their brain around the a and the o being in that order.  Most people spell it the American way "Jail", but if you drive by a provincial gaol, that is the way it is spelled on the sign. 

[Trigger Mike 848]

Reminds me of the Japanese man who told thomas magnum that he had been to Hawaii once before in 1941.

[Subdeacon Joe 21,359]

1 hour ago, Buffalo Creek Law Dog said:

Back in the 60's I was a correction officer with the Alberta Provincial Gaols.  (Old English)

A lot of people pronounce it "Goal" because they can't get their brain around the a and the o being in that order.  Most people spell it the American way "Jail", but if you drive by a provincial gaol, that is the way it is spelled on the sign. 

 

As in "The Ballad of Reading Gaol?"

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062 1,549]

21 hours ago, Alpo said:

HumoUr if it's British.

 

 

CORRECT !

 

  ............ otherwise and you could get "transported" here in irons 

 

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 2,175]

6 hours ago, Trigger Mike said:

Reminds me of the Japanese man who told thomas magnum that he had been to Hawaii once before in 1941.

Which reminds me of the elderly American gentleman who was visiting France. When he got up to the window at Customs, the Customs agent asked for his passport, so he dug it out. The Customs agent got snotty with him about not having his travel documents out and ready, so he pointed out that the last time he came to France, he didn't have to go through all of that rigmarole. The Customs agent asked just when he had visited France that he hadn't had to go through Customs and the American gentleman told him, "June, 1944. We came in through Normandy."

[J-BAR #18287 4,830]

A Brit was touring Europe.  While in Germany he made the acquaintance of an elderly WWII veteran.  “How far away is Paris from here?” Asked the Brit.

 

The old soldier replied with a smile, ”Just a 3-day march.”

[punxsutawneypete 230]

Don Rickles was guest hosting the Tonight Show, and went out into the audience..  In the audience were some young Japanese tourists who didn't speak much English.  Of course, Rickles couldn't resist and the place broke up when he said to one of them, "Three years on account of your father."

[Smuteye John SASS#24774 2,175]

47 minutes ago, J-BAR #18287 said:

A Brit was touring Europe.  While in Germany he made the acquaintance of an elderly WWII veteran.  “How far away is Paris from here?” Asked the Brit.

 

The old soldier replied with a smile, ”Just a 3-day march.”

That's almost as bad as my claiming that German Army Group A won the 1940 Tour Du France.

[Charlie Harley, #14153 2,186]

4 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

Which reminds me of the elderly American gentleman who was visiting France. When he got up to the window at Customs, the Customs agent asked for his passport, so he dug it out. The Customs agent got snotty with him about not having his travel documents out and ready, so he pointed out that the last time he came to France, he didn't have to go through all of that rigmarole. The Customs agent asked just when he had visited France that he hadn't had to go through Customs and the American gentleman told him, "June, 1944. We came in through Normandy."

F-ing A!