Jump to content
SASS Wire Forum
Sign in to follow this  
Alpo

Idjit dawg done it again

Recommended Posts

We get home from our walk and walking back to the house, and she pulls me over into the front grass, flops down on her back and starts wiggling. Okay, I understand. Scratching her back.

 

Then she stops wiggling and just lays there. On her back. With her feet in the air. And her mouth open about an inch.

 

But her tail is wagging. I tell her that dead dogs do not wag their tail, and she stops. Then her nose starts to twitch like she's going to sneeze. I tell her dead dogs do not wiggle their nose, and she stops.

 

So we stay in there for about 5 minutes - me and my dead dog. I poke her with my cane, because that is my understanding of what you do with something that is dead - poke it with a stick.

 

Then I tell her that this is long enough - that we need to go in. She ignores me. I tell her she would be more convincing as a dead dog if her belly quit going up and down. She did not stop breathing. But otherwise...

 

A car driving by stops and a lady gets out and runs up in the yard. "Oh what happened to her?" Idjit dog jumps to her feet and runs over to get petted.

 

I tell the lady that she had just decided, on her own, to play dead. The lady says she thought she was dead. She had told her friend to stop. "We have to stop. I know that guy, and his puppy's dead."

 

This is not the first time her dead act has got some sympathetic driver by to stop.

 

Worthless damn dog.

  • Like 4
  • Haha 11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A video would have been awesome!  Maybe next time.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tragic. Canine narcolepsy!

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, The Original Lumpy Gritz said:

Also, she has trained you well. 

I'll have to give you a big 10-4 on that.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

smart dog | PASSED AN AUTO PARTS STORE TODAY AND SAW A SIGN THAT READ, “DEAD BATTERIES, $1”. I THOUGHT, THOSE SHOULD BE FREE OF CHARGE. | image tagged in smart dog | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand the joke in that last one, and it's even funny.

 

But it's the build-up.

 

Why would anyone wish to buy dead batteries?

 

It's great for the parts house. If they can sell you a dead battery for a dollar, they don't have to pay hazardous disposal $3 to take it. And they've already charged the customer the $3 disposal fee, so it's a win-win.

 

But what would be the purpose?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, Alpo said:

I understand the joke in that last one, and it's even funny.

 

But it's the build-up.

 

Why would anyone wish to buy dead batteries?

 

It's great for the parts house. If they can sell you a dead battery for a dollar, they don't have to pay hazardous disposal $3 to take it. And they've already charged the customer the $3 disposal fee, so it's a win-win.

 

But what would be the purpose?

 

Parts house buys your dead battery for a dollar. They then sell it to the recycler for three. Make $2 in the process

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's an offer to buy? I thought it was an offer to sell.

 

So you're saying that when I go to Pep Boys and buy a new battery, and they charged me a $3 disposal fee, then they turn around and sell it to a recycler for another $3?

 

Whata buncha crooks.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps your dog actually got you to “play fence post”...Didya think of that? :D

 

Your training is ongoing...;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If she was a he, and peed on my leg, I could see where she was getting me to play "fence post".

 

But since she isn't, and she didn't, I don't understand what you're talkin' about.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Better than a parrot yelling out the window, "Helllllp!" sounding like a little ole lady. I know the results of that one.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mebbe the dawg is trying to fix you up with a lady. A nice one stopped cause she thought the dawg was dead. You said it had happened before...

 

Imis

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, Imis Twohofon,SASS # 46646 said:

Mebbe the dawg is trying to fix you up with a lady. A nice one stopped cause she thought the dawg was dead. You said it had happened before...

 

Imis

 

image.png.9fc700e64bf67d93afae663873f320de.png

:P

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Back before Worthless, when Big Brown Dog was still alive, I had this thought.

 

I have heard, many times, that "walking a dog is a good way to meet chicks". But most of the human people of the female persuasion that I would run into when walking the dog were young. Quite young. EXTREMELY young. Like "Junior high and elementary school" young. And the ones that weren't young were old. Late 80s and up. And there I was in my mid-fifties.

 

So one day as we are out and about we meet this lady of approximately the right age. And she's good looking. Win-win.

 

I say good afternoon, she says good afternoon back. Then she says, "That's a beautiful dog. Chesapeake, right? My husband and I have two labs." :(

 

In my experience, dogs are overrated for meeting women. :P They usually turn out to be either too young, too old, or too married.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too have heard that dogs or young sisters are "chick bait." I heard this from my brother (8 years older) once when he took me to the "soda fountain" with him. That was the only time he took me anywhere while we were children. So, I guess it depends. :o:lol:

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Allie Mo, SASS No. 25217 said:

I too have heard that dogs or young sisters are "chick bait." I heard this from my brother (8 years older) once when he took me to the "soda fountain" with him. That was the only time he took me anywhere while we were children. So, I guess it depends. :o:lol:

Went to a store when my son was a new born. 2 girls came up and started talking to me about him. His mother was standing next to us and they hardly acknowledged her.

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.