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It's Almost Friday Humor Thread

Subdeacon Joe

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I was in Dallas in 2011. It was not funny. This article does not provide the full scope as temperatures were above 100 all night long.




Would take more digging to find the lows during those historical highs.

Edited by John Kloehr
Otto failed to correct an easy typo
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2 hours ago, John Kloehr said:

I was in Dallas in 2011. It was not funny.

Yeah, and there was a drought, too.

In The Woodlands, just north of Houston, I had $400 water bills from watering my trees all summer.

The green belt behind me didn't water the tall pine trees, and dozens were lost just behind my yard, along with thousands throughout The Woodlands, and tens-of-thousands in Houston. 

The excavated soil on my street project turned into talcum powder and got into everything - especially my car.

I never did get it clean... 


And June is close to breaking records in Texas again this year.

Can't wait for August!  


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3 hours ago, Crooked River Pete, SASS 43485 said:

Name:  4847D1B0-7137-4F78-A351-0076BED20456.jpg Views: 407 Size:  30.0 KB

I love this!


There was another meme with dogs driving through town, and the passenger dog says to the driver dog, "Hurry, the light is turning grey!"




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A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. 


The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. 


Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.


Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.


One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." 


After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.


Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. 


But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.


As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?"


The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

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