The Aussie Humour Thread

[Rip Snorter]

That is something to beef about if one doesn't chicken out!

[Eyesa Horg]

50 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

@Cold Lake Kid, SASS # 51474

 

Uh Oh 

 

You folks seem to have your meats confused, like the turkey made of pork.

[Buckshot Bear]

33 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

You folks seem to have your meats confused, like the turkey made of pork.

 

It's a bit of a worry.

 

What the hell is this crap that there selling in Woollies supermarkets?

 

[Rip Snorter]

3 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

It's a bit of a worry.

 

What the hell is this crap that there selling in Woollies supermarkets?

 

Processed Vegetarian, perhaps?

[Eyesa Horg]

Certainly NO truth in labeling.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

8 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

It's a bit of a worry.

 

What the hell is this crap that there selling in Woollies supermarkets?

 

 

 Is that the one that used to be known as "Soylent Green" ??? 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Rip Snorter]

That is no joke!  Woof!

[Eyesa Horg]

2 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

That was close

[Buckshot Bear]

2 minutes ago, Eyesa Horg said:

That was close

 

Exceedingly so!

 

Edited December 5, 2022 by Buckshot Bear

[Buckshot Bear]

Triple OOO for us here is what you guys have as 911

 

[Chickasaw Bill SASS #70001]

well even the sea turtles, try to kill ya , down there 

 

  CB 

[Brazos John]

On 12/3/2022 at 11:27 AM, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

I bet the real Aussie Turkeys are two dangerous to hunt.

 

 

 

Davistown was a small community in NSW, until the Great Turkey Uprising!

The Army was called, and after much knife-to-breast fighting, the Turkeys were pushed into the sea.

 

 

[Buckshot Bear]

While we do have the domesticated turkey here on farms and intensively raised for Christmas.

 

We also have the Australian Brushturkey  -

 

"The Australian brushturkey or Australian brush-turkey or gweela, also frequently called the scrub turkey or bush turkey, is a common, widespread species of mound-building bird from the family Megapodiidae found in eastern Australia from Far North Queensland to Eurobodalla on the South Coast of New South Wales".

 

 

 

 

 

[Buckshot Bear]

[Brazos John]

1 hour ago, Buckshot Bear said:

While we do have the domesticated turkey here on farms and intensively raised for Christmas.

 

We also have the Australian Brushturkey  -

 

"The Australian brushturkey or Australian brush-turkey or gweela, also frequently called the scrub turkey or bush turkey, is a common, widespread species of mound-building bird from the family Megapodiidae found in eastern Australia from Far North Queensland to Eurobodalla on the South Coast of New South Wales".

 

 

 

 

 

Red and yellow, kill a fellow!

[Loophole LaRue, SASS #51438]

9 minutes ago, Brazos John said:

Red and yellow, kill a fellow!

 

It was kind of Mother Nature to paint the target area red.....

 

LL

[Smuteye John SASS#24774]

14 hours ago, Loophole LaRue, SASS #51438 said:

 

It was kind of Mother Nature to paint the target area red.....

 

LL

I think he's referring to the mnemonic associated with telling the difference between the Eastern Red Coral Snake and a species of King Snake.

 

"Red on yellow will kill a fellow.  Red on black, the venom lack."  is the way I was taught it.

 

Coral snakes are extremely poisonous while King Snakes are nonpoisonous and kill other snakes.

[Buckshot Bear]

 

 

[Rip Snorter]

5 hours ago, Smuteye John SASS#24774 said:

I think he's referring to the mnemonic associated with telling the difference between the Eastern Red Coral Snake and a species of King Snake.

 

"Red on yellow will kill a fellow.  Red on black, the venom lack."  is the way I was taught it.

 

Coral snakes are extremely poisonous while King Snakes are nonpoisonous and kill other snakes.

Boy Scouts back in the '50's

Red and Black, friend to Jack

Red and Yellow, kill a fellow.

[Alpo]

1 minute ago, Rip Snorter said:

Boy Scouts back in the '50's

Red and Black, friend to Jack

Red and Yellow, kill a fellow.

That's how I learned it, except that it was red TOUCH yellow, and red TOUCH black. Because both snakes have red and black on them and red and yellow on them, but only the poisonous snake has the red touching the yellow.

[Alpo]

5 minutes ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

 

And I thought Fran Dressler talked through her nose.

[Eyesa Horg]

I honestly couldn't understand him!

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

The largest cattle station in the world is located in Australia and it's bigger than Israel.

 

 In Australia, sheep outnumber people 2.5 to 1 (in 2020).

 

The Australian climate is one of extremes with the highest temperature ever recorded being 50.7 °C (123.3 °F) on 2 Jan 1960 in Oodnadatta (SA) and the lowest, −23.0 °C (−9.4 °F) on 29 June 1994 at Charlotte’s Pass (NSW).

 

The Dingo Fence runs over 5,530km through Queensland and South Australia. It is the longest fence in the world and is 3 times the length of the Great Wall of China!

 

In 2005, security guards at Canberra’s Parliament House were banned from calling people ‘mate’. The ban lasted only one day.

 

The venom of the elusive platypus can kill a dog.

 

Australia has the largest population of feral camels (wild camels) in the world. There are an estimated 1.2 million camels roaming around 37% of the Australian mainland across Western Australia, South Australia, Queensland and the Northern Territory.

 

 

Aussies drink 1.7 billion litres of beer per year (that’s about 680 bottles of beer for each adult.)

 

Aussies eat over 270 million meat pies a year (and there's only 25 million if us!).

 

20% of the worlds gambling machines (pokies) can be found in Australia, with more than 80% of Aussie’s participating in some form of gambling (move over, Las Vegas!)

 

[Rip Snorter]

Ah, Australia! What about the rabbit fence?

[Buckshot Bear]

6 minutes ago, Rip Snorter said:

Ah, Australia! What about the rabbit fence?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit-proof_fence

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Great Wall is 13,000+ miles

[Buckshot Bear]

5 hours ago, Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984 said:

Great Wall is 13,000+ miles

 

Fair dinkum those damn Aussies always s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g the truth!!!!

[Marshal Mo Hare, SASS #45984]

Just now, Buckshot Bear said:

 

Fair dinkum those damn Aussies always s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g the truth!!!!

Nahh they just had too much beer when comparing kilometers to miles.

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

9 hours ago, Eyesa Horg said:

I honestly couldn't understand him!

 

 ...... me neither .....   

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Buckshot Bear]

[Wallaby Jack, SASS #44062]

18 hours ago, Buckshot Bear said:

 

 There should be a lot more of these signs .........