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Blonde Jokes for Spring


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A blonde returned from vacation to find her home ransacked and burglarized. She immediately called the police and reported the crime. The police dispatcher sent the nearest officer, a K-9 unit, to respond.

 

When the officer and his dog approached the blonde's front door, she appeared on her porch, collapsed to her knees, and began sobbing with her head in her hands. The officer assumes, from her highly distraught condition, that she has been hurt during the break-in, and begins to ask her questions about her condition.

 

"No, no, no...you don't understand!" she replied.

 

"My home has been burglarized, my favorite possessions stolen, and when I call the police for help, they send a blind policeman to investigate!!!"

 

 

 

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her. She goes to the local pawnshop and buys a gun. Arriving unexpectedly at her boyfriend's apartment, she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

 

The blond pulls out her gun, but is overcome with grief, and puts the gun to her own head. The boyfriend cries out "No, darling, no...don't do it!!"

 

She stares at him and barks back, " Shut up...you're next!"

 

 

 

A blonde is bragging about her knowledge of state capitols. She tells a doubtful friend: "Go ahead...ask me any of them!"

 

The friend replies: "OK...what's the capitol of Wisconsin?"

 

The blond replies: "Oh, that's easy...W."

 

 

 

A couple is fast asleep, when the phone rings at 2:00 A.M. The very blonde wife answers, listens to the caller, and then responds: "How should I know....that's more than 200 miles from here!" She hangs up and returns to bed.

 

"Who was that?" asks the husband.

 

"Oh, I don't know" responds the blond; "Some woman who wanted to know if the coast is clear."

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Only a small percentage of the world population is blonde.

 

Why do they rest of them want to be blonde?

 

Scary!

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I AM a blond and I have a gun........................................

 

And know how to use it.................... :o

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I AM a blond and I have a gun........................................

 

And know how to use it.................... :o

 

Well could be worse. You could be a having PMS too! :)

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I used to be blonde, but it came from a bottle. Then I turned gray. Now I'm light brown. But it came from another bottle.

 

Because I'm looking for a way to color that won't hurt my hair.

 

BUT if I could choose, id rather be blonde. Not because they have mote fun, which I doubt. But because the darker color just seems "heavy," where a dark blonde---dirty dishwater blonde--deems lighter.

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Dad always said blondes were easier to find in bed===don't understand he married a redhead. GW

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Four guys are swapping blond jokes in a bar when a young, attractive blond woman walks over to their table. She smiles and bats her eyelashes at them, and they suddenly become tongue-tied. "I'm sorry to bother you," she coos, "but can you answer a question for me?"

 

Once of the guys manages to stammer, "Uh, sure. Anything to help."

 

She smiles sweetly at him. "Oh, good! Where do babies come from?"

 

Startled at her directness, he can't even speak. He just blushes and shrugs. She looks at each of the others and they're all equally stymied.

 

"You mean none of you can tell me where babies come from?" They all shake their heads. "Wow, and to think some people say blonds are dumb!"

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I AM a blond and I have a gun........................................

 

And know how to use it.................... :o

 

Well could be worse. You could be a having PMS too! :)

 

Nope. However, I do get "personal warming trends" to beat the band........ :D :D :D :D :D :D

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My wife was a beautiful blonde when I met her. Through the years "solutions" maintained that look. Then cancer treatment removed her hair. She has since let it grow back naturally to a beautiful multicolor gray, black and silver patina. Wow, is she stunning.

 

Something to be said for letting nature take it's course.

 

Now back to our regular programming... :)

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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

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Ya know why blonde jokes are so stupid?………………….so everyone ELSE can understand them~!

 

:wub: I love blondes!

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My wife was a beautiful blonde when I met her. Through the years "solutions" maintained that look. Then cancer treatment removed her hair. She has since let it grow back naturally to a beautiful multicolor gray, black and silver patina. Wow, is she stunning.

 

For years my wife tried to color her brown hair to a shade of red that she liked. I liked some of the results but she never did. Then when her hair grew back in after losing it to chemo, it came in red and curly, just the way she'd wanted it.

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